


Dark Congregation

by QuintessentialCat



Series: Against All Odds [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Canon Compliant, Conflict, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Internal Conflict, Not Epilogue Compliant, Teen Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-30 12:26:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 57,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5163782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuintessentialCat/pseuds/QuintessentialCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally, only Harry Potter's story was told. What if he didn't know everything that went on?</p><p>This is Hermione's side of what happened in their 5th year and the truth she kept hidden. Until now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling Awake

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of the characters or even the story. J.K. Rowling is a beautiful soul who deserves all the credit. I'm just borrowing them. I hope to return them in one piece. 
> 
> All my chapter titles are also song titles which I do not own, but borrowed to portray the title I needed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The little girl just could not sleep because her thoughts were way too deep. Her mind had gone for a stroll and fallen down a rabbit hole.” -Unknown

The nights left her alone in an endless chasm of darkness. The darkness found solid shapes through the nightmares, the worries, and the sadness. It pulled at her skin, threatening to tear her apart. Sleep flinted around her, never coming to rest over her. 

So, alone, Hermione Granger fought off the demons of past, present, and future. So many came. So many took more of Hermione every time. Alone, nothing seemed like enough to ward them off. Alone, Hermione gasped for air too often than not. 

OoooOoooO

Summers existed for enjoyment, but Hermione found none in the summer before her 5th year. By the time Harry arrived at Grimmauld’s Place, Hermione suffered from extreme insomnia. For her, insomnia only occurred under extreme duress. Hermione attributed this to her mind’s unwillingness to rest with more to do. Insomnia befell her when her grandfather lay on his deathbed and several times in the past four years of schooling. Watching Harry try to figure out how to pass the challenges in the Triwizard Tournament lead to a particularly terrible bout that lasted months. Now, insomnia appeared to have found a resting place with Hermione, as her mind went into overdrive in response to Lord Voldemort’s return. 

The witch attempted to use the time alone to her benefit, rather than a loss. If she laid down and found sleep running away from her, Hermione jumped right back out of bed and found something productive to do. Lately, that meant learning defense spells, or spells Hermione might find useful if anything happened.

Ginny figured out right away that Hermione suffered from insomnia, seeing as they shared a room together. Even though Hermione never woke the girl, the close living quarters made the discovery inevitable. When Ginny rose concerns, Hermione assured her that the lack of sleep failed to affect her health. After several heated arguments, Ginny dropped the matter, because, as Hermione pointed out, Hermione never so much as yawned due to not sleeping. 

The first night after Harry finally joined the group at Grimmauld's Place, Hermione achieved her first full night of sleep in weeks. The respite declined as the court date grew closer though, and Hermione worried that enough people in the Ministry of Magic disliked Harry to make expulsion plausible. 

The announcement that Harry escaped expulsion sent a wave of relief over Hermione, and she once again found sleep’s comfort. She slept well for the rest of the summer, lightened by the idea both her best friends remained nearby.

OoooOOoooO

On the very first night back at Hogwarts, Hermione rolled out of bed shortly after laying down. The Sorting Hat's message, Hagrid’s absence, and Umbridge's speech ran through Hermione's head like marching soldiers. All together they screamed "Voldemort returned and everyone refuses to do anything!" Even Harry and Ron failed to appreciate the truth behind the Sorting Hat's message. No doubt Hagrid went on a mission which went south and stopped him from returning on time. Then, on top of everything else, the Ministry of Magic involving itself with Hogwarts when the Minister refused to believe that Voldemort lived again only reeked of danger and vile events to come. 

Hermione sat on the edge of her bed soaking in the darkness for a couple minutes before deciding what to do. She threw on one of her school robes, tiptoed down the stairs and out the porthole. She glided through the halls skillfully, avoiding the hallways commonly frequented by late night visitors. It took longer, but Hermione early on perfected the after-hours trip to the library. 

It started in her first year, before she even befriend Ron and Harry. Then, she used to be very scared about her trips, but Hermione hated staying awake so much as she worried over not making any friends. She still disapproved of breaking rules, but Hermione hardly saw this as the reason for the rule. The rule existed for those who made more trouble by staying out late. Hermione kept to herself and studied.

Harry and Ron, of course, knew nothing of Hermione's tendency to skip out to the library when she suffered from insomnia. They failed to ever notice she even lived with insomnia. The young ladies she roomed with knew but thought nothing of it after Hermione told them she went downstairs to read at night to prevent waking any of them. Hermione assured no one ever realized that she snuck out of the dorms.

That first night back, Hermione stayed in the library for some hours, Hermione lacked any timepiece to tell her how long. Just long enough for her to start feeling sleep tug on her. She began the trek through the hallways back to the dormitory, a little careless from exhaustion and comfort that her path remained unfrequented. 

As she snuck around a corner, Hermione ran directly into another person. She just barely avoided a scream escaping from her lips. Instead, she stumbled backwards, falling over, hard, too busy covering her mouth to catch herself. When she looked up, Hermione saw the equally shocked expression of one Draco Malfoy, whose face quickly changed to a sneer as he saw who lay on the floor before him. After curfew. Alone.

"And here I thought that Mudblood know-it-alls only wandered around after hours in groups of threes. It's much safer for them that way." Malfoy sneered, quietly, fully aware of the danger of himself getting caught.

"Malfoy, out of the two of us, professors are a lot more likely to believe me if we get caught. In fact, maybe I should get one of them right now," Hermione warned, standing quickly up. She brushed off the imaginary dirt that Malfoy left on her. Malfoy laughed at her threat, a smirk covering his face.

"As if you'd willingly get yourself into trouble, 'oh, professor, I'm so sorry, I'm just a sniveling little Mudblood, please don't give me detention.'" Malfoy spoke in a high squeaky voice to mock her. 

Just as Hermione opened her mouth to retort, Malfoy shoved a hand against her mouth. His other hand ran to his lips to quiet her as he cocked his head in one direction. Hermione's eyes widened as she heard it: soft footsteps coming their way. 

"C'mon," He muttered before grabbing her arm- harder than necessary- and dragging her to a nearby classroom. It only took Hermione a moment to realize that he only dragged her along because they both knew if Hermione got caught, she intended to point whoever caught her in Malfoy’s direction.

Inside the classroom, Malfoy gripped her arm harder as he looked around. Hermione thought to at least close the door most of the way, all but a crack, before he hauled her into a dark corner. The whole room existed in near darkness with a shadow cast between a cabinet and a corner, leaving no light to shine in the single corner. Draco dipped into the corner, pulling her right against him, with his arms around her. Both of them stood engulfed in the darkness of both room; the shadow hugged them tighter.

The pair cringed at the close proximity. However, so the dark shadowed over them completely if they pressed together, and neither wanted to risk capture just because of their mutual disgust. Their efforts appeared clearly beneficial as someone pushed open the door, walked in the room a step or two, glanced around slowly for a few minutes, and finally exited- none the wiser two teenagers stood obscured by a minor shadow. 

Draco Malfoy's arms tightened against her at the sight of the individual. Her back rested flesh with his front. She felt his heart beat fast from fear of capture, just as her own raced. One of his arms wrapped around her stomach, the other across her chest, his hand resting on where her arm met her shoulder. Her hands gripped his arms in fear, wishing herself to disappear. They stood there for several extra minutes, in hopes to let the individual walk as far away as possible.

The- almost- romantic scene ended as quickly as it began, for as soon as Draco felt the threat departed, he pushed Hermione away from him. Hard. So hard in fact, she nearly stumbled straight over onto her face.

"Git." Hermione hissed as she caught her balance.

"It's going to take me forever to get Mudblood off of me," Malfoy spit with rage at her. 

Hermione raised her hand to slap him, but Malfoy quickly caught her wrist and gripped it with purposeful menace. His free hand shot forward with his wand so it stuck into her throat. 

"If you think you are ever going to get away with that again, Mudblood, you had better think twice because I will not hesitate to curse you back to whatever hole you crawled out of." Hermione tried to keep her face brave, but the look on Malfoy's face told of someone with no qualms murdering her for even thinking about striking him. They froze there, glaring holes into each other. 

Hermione caught a glimpse of a shadow at the door, and she quickly pushed Malfoy and herself back into their safe corner. Luckily, he went along with it, wrapping arms around her as she pressed two hands up to grip his robes, flattening them both as much as possible against the wall and each other. Footsteps indicated movement away without stopping. They remained there another five minutes before Malfoy whispered into her ear.

"Do you think they're gone?"

Hermione released his robes where her hands clutched them at his sides, sighed, and gently pushed away from him, "Yes." Hermione blushed at how their bodies pressed together seconds ago. It felt much too intimate for Hermione, who only ever kissed one boy and certainly never went further with him than kissing. 

As he once again straightened out his robes, Malfoy looked at her, still maintaining the signature Malfoy sneer but with a touch of- inquisitiveness Hermione guessed. 

"You're awfully good at sneaking about... What are you doing out this late anyways, Granger?"

She thought about turning and leaving, ignoring the question entirely. But he addressed her with her actual name rather than Mudblood and Hermione still wanted to know what that expression meant. So she told him enough that she hoped prompted him to reveal something to her.

"I was doing research in the library. What are you doing out?" She whispered back to him as she began to inch towards the door. He followed, just as paranoid as Hermione after two different sets of footsteps. Both went out with the belief the first night back lacked the same level of patrols of other nights. 

"Research of my own." Malfoy made an uglier sneer than usual to discourage more questions. Hermione wanted to punch him but held back the urge. Neither of them said a word from there. They snuck a look out the door, saw an empty hallway, looked once at each other with disdain, before vocally wishing to the other for a capture and expulsion, and finally heading their separate ways to their dormitories. 

OoooOoooO

When Hermione and Draco passed each other in the hall the next day, no indication appeared of their late night run-in. In her mind, however, Hermione continued to wonder what led Malfoy out past curfew. She wanted to mention it to Harry and Ron, but a discussion of both the details of her insomnia and her late night trips required more patience than she currently owned. So Hermione wondered on her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be patient, Dramione lovers. They will get there, but it will take time. They both have a lot of feelings to deal with and a lot of learning to do.


	2. I Can't Get My Head Around You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A wise person knows that there is something to be learned from everyone.” -Unknown

Hermione stayed in her dormitory after her run-in with Malfoy until what Harry admitted occurred in detention with Umbridge dug down to stir up her insomnia (Well, Ron told her about it and made her swear not to bother Harry about it). Hermione spent all that night looking for the information on blood quills, their effects, and the spells used to make them. Midway through the night, Hermione heard a noise, an indication the library held more than one occupant. The noise moved Hermione to action as she ducked down and stared between the bookshelves, extinguishing the light at the end of her wand. A couple shelves away, she saw movement. Hermione squinted to try to see through the dark. 

It became clear whoever shared the library with her snuck around just like her. When her eyes adjusted, she saw the light from an end of a wand illuminating white-blond hair. Hermione wanted so badly to cause some kind of disturbance to get him caught. However, the risk of getting herself caught remained too great, besides more research still beckoned her. 

Hermione stood still a moment before deciding on an option. She tiptoed to the end of the row of bookshelves that Malfoy stopped at. She whispered loudly, "Malfoy." He looked up, startled, almost dropping the book in his hands. 

"Granger," Malfoy snarled with all the hate he contained. Hermione ignored it.

"What are you researching, Malfoy?" 

"I now see how you get your grades. You spend all night trying to catch up to all the real witches and wizards."

"Is that how you sleep at night, telling yourself that there’s anything other than pure talent behind my skill? Oh wait, or is that why you're here, to study to try to catch up to me? I bet your father loathes the fact that a muggleborn beats you in every subject. Probably makes you study through the holidays just so you can scrape by in school."

"The only person who has to scrape by in school is Potter and Weasley. But they have you as a slave doing all their work for them, no doubt. I suppose you would seem like you know everything when you do it three times over. Oh and I have to say what a pleasure it is that there's finally another teacher here that sees Potter for what he is- an attention-seeking, no-talent-" Hermione interrupted him.

"You know as well as I do that Harry is not making any of this up, so cut the crap, Malfoy," Hermione snapped. She wanted so badly to raise her hand to his face. 

"Perhaps I do, but the majority of the wizarding world thinks Potter is a liar and Dumbledore a madman," Malfoy sneered.

"It's only a matter of time. One day, you'll meet your end, and it'll come either by death in a war where you're on the losing side, you getting locked away with the rest of your family, or you-know-who killing you because he’s unhappy with you or your family." There was silence for a moment, before Malfoy seemed to find his voice.

"We'll see who's at the losing end of a war, Granger," Malfoy warned. Then he got up and left without another word. Hermione hurried over to where he placed the book he had been holding in his hands. The whole shelf was full of defense against the dark arts books. Hermione came up with many theories on why Malfoy researched out of that section- the most plausible continuing as the need to know what spells other might use against him. However, Malfoy’s low response to Hermione’s last comment captured Hermione's thoughts. The possibility that the young man worried over you-know-who’s returned suddenly seemed conceivable. 

Daybreak brought the witch back to her dormitory for a few hours of sleep. Her mind still rushing with wonderment as it went to rest. 

OoooOooOoooO

The next few days, Malfoy bullied the trio exponentially more. Hermione questioned whether the heightened abuse originated from her comment. Her attention wavered to almost obsession over what Malfoy wanted with defense against the dark arts. She planned, and re-planned, many ways to discover the answer. None appeared likely to work.

OooOoOooO

When Umbridge was assigned High Inquister, Hermione stayed up cursing the Ministry of Magic. The next night, Hermione wandered into the library to look at law books, to search for any useful laws out there about free education in Hogwarts.

As soon as she walked in, Hermione caught glance of a small light between some bookshelves. She crept towards the light, already suspecting who cast it. However, when she still stood a shelf away, a hand suddenly covered her mouth and pulled her against their front. A wand jabbed her cheek. 

"You really are just asking for trouble, Mudblood," Malfoy threatened. She managed to rip herself out of his grasp, unconcerned with the possibility of getting hexed.

"What are YOU doing out this late???" Hermione snapped. Malfoy lowered his wand and lounged on the shelf behind him.

"You should stay in bed or else I might show you what I’ve been doing," Malfoy warned in a low voice. His relaxed stance implied his utterly disregard for her ability to hex him. 

"If you told me what you were researching, maybe I could help you. You wouldn't still be here if you could find it easily. We keep running into each other anyways, maybe we could help each other find what we are looking for." Hermione said this impulsively. Hermione threw out this plan originally almost as fast as she thought of it. Hermione’s suspicion of Slytherins fell significantly lower than Harry and Ron’s, but her desperation to just know what Malfoy studied when no one else saw him beat out any of her reason. 

"Yeah, I'm sure what I need is a Mudblood's help," Malfoy made a face of pure disgust, actually leaning back as those the suggestion alone reached out to infect him.

"Fine, you can keep stumbling around in the dark while I get work done," Hermione turned to walk towards a different section of the library. Her plan collapsed on top of itself, as she saw occurring in such a dreadful plan. However, as it spilled from her lips, her reason played with the possibility of it actually working. Now, Hermione felt slightly disappointed, more at herself than the plan’s utter failure. 

"It sounds to me, Granger, that you are just trying to get my help. Did the little Mudblood get lost in the wizard's world?" Malfoy spoke louder so his voice reached her. Hermione stopped and turned back towards him. 

"I guarantee I know more about this world than you do." Then without another word, she hid in the other side of the library, finding a book of laws along the way. 

When she finally began feeling drowsy, she stood up, stretched her limbs, then tiptoed over to where Malfoy previously studied. The blonde wizard remained there, with books surrounding him. Hermione made a quick decision and walked up to him. 

"The offer still stands," Hermione said, eyeing the books around him.

"Bugger off, Mudblood, I will not hesitate to get us both caught. My father won't allow anything to happen to me... But you... Well, with the new High Inquisitor, you may soon no longer be around to bother me." Malfoy smirked. 

"Malfoy, your ego is going to get you into a lot of trouble one day." Hermione knocked over two of the stacks of books as she left the library. Once out the door, Hermione quickly recited the titles of the books to help her remember them. 

OOoooOOoooOO

The next day while her, Ron, and Harry sat in the library, Hermione found herself itching to find the books Malfoy read the night before. She desperately wanted to read through them to see if she could figure out anything as to why Malfoy snuck around to research. Hermione tried to focus on the work-in-progress in front of her, but her mind insisted she find the answer to her question. Harry and Ron only gave her a slight glance. Quickly, she found the books. With no real reason for the books, Hermione stood at the bookshelf avoiding any questions from Harry and Ron about them. She skimmed the first book. She pulled the second book and began to skim the table of contents when a voice growled at her. 

"What do you think you're doing, Mudblood?" She looked up slowly, only slightly startled by the interruption.

"Researching," Hermione replied nonchalantly, mimicking his replies. Draco Malfoy reached over and tore the book from her hands.

"Keep your nose out of my business, you filthy Mudblood. You won’t like it if I decide to show you."

"That almost sounds like a threat." 

"And that almost sounds like you are so dumb that you don't realize when you're being threatened." They glared at each other for a few seconds before Malfoy pushed past her, dropping the book on the ground. He muttered a hex, which she just barely managed to avoid. If her prefect duties filled less a priority in her mind, Hermione would have thrown a hex right back at him. 

OooooOooooO

For the two weeks following, before Harry finally agreed to go along with the defense against the dark arts club, Hermione hardly slept at all. Even Harry and Ron mentioned she looked haggard. The one benefit: the long nights lent her plenty of time to study.

After the run-in with Malfoy, she took to going to the library, grabbing a few books, and finding an empty classroom to study in. Then, once she felt drowsy, she ran the books back to the library. More often than not, Hermione saw a glimmer of light in the library, but she never approached it. The light either failed to notice her or ignored her nearly silent footsteps. 

Several nights after the previous encounter, Hermione once again snuck out after curfew. This time, she didn't go directly to the library. Instead, Hermione wandered the halls, muttering spells as she went, pointing at this or that. She grew more confident of her ability to get around at night without getting caught every time she went out. 

Hermione took a quick sidestep into a doorway as she heard footsteps. She held her breath and stared out of the slit in the door. No sooner she calmed herself then she watched as Draco Malfoy stalked by, obviously returning from the library. Except Hermione tilted her head… Multiple sets of footsteps reverberated off the walls. Hermione acted on instinct (cursing herself later for it) as she reached out and yanked him into the classroom just before he stepped out of her reach.

Draco Malfoy appeared utterly affronted and opened his mouth to make a snide comment, but she put a finger to her lips and pointed out the now mostly closed door. He watched the door as footsteps brought Professor McGonagall into view. She glanced at the doorway suspiciously but moved on without investigating. It seemed the teacher failed to hear the second pair of footsteps just like Malfoy.

Once she disappeared from view, Hermione gazed over at the Slytherin to see a twisted look on the young man's face while he regarded her carefully. He then stared down where she still gently held his arm. She dropped her hand, quickly at his stare.

"Well, Granger, it looks like you being a nosey twat is useful at times." Malfoy brushed his arm clean of the invisible germs.

"Well, lucky for a git like you, Griffindors don't just look out for themselves," Hermione glared. He made it hard to not want to transfigure him into a ferret. She made to leave out the doorway when he tapped her shoulder, "Granger."

She turned back.

"I owe you," Draco Malfoy actually managed to wipe his signature sneer off his face. It left him looking... sincere? Well, at least sincerely uncomfortable at saying those words to a muggle-born. Hermione failed to appreciate the look properly due to the pure shock she felt. 

"Um... You're welcome..." Hermione muttered, thinking how to best avoid this awkward of a situation (She already cursed her natural instinct to help others). 

"But if you tell anyone about this, I'll deny everything and hex you back to your muggle existence," Malfoy said with not quite with a full sneer. She considered the thought he only said this to make the situation less uncomfortable, except she knew Malfoy really would try to harm her if she told anyone about this. 

"And if you tell anyone that I helped you, I'll deny it and curse you to a muggle existence," Hermione grinned at the thought of him living like a muggle. Then she laughed.

"What is so funny?" Malfoy snapped, shifting on his feet, clearly not comfortable in his present situation.

"You were so close to giving McGonagall a reason to try to take your prefect badge away. I cannot believe I helped you." More giggles. Malfoy raised an eyebrow. If Hermione guess, he shared the disbelief. 

"Well, think about how boring your life would be if you could just give me a detention whenever you liked." Malfoy said tentatively, unsure in his role in the conversation. 

"It would be quite a bit easier." 

"But who likes easy?" Malfoy almost gave a smile, one side of his lips turns slightly upward for a lopsided smirk. Hermione stopped giggling and conferred the Slytherin a curious expression. Malfoy glared at the muggleborn's attention and began to leave. 

"I'll see you around, Mudblood." Malfoy told her, without looking back, as he skulked off into the dark hallways. 

Hermione cocked her head at the empty doorway. Nothing in her mind explained what just happened between them. If anything, it appeared a barrier crumbled a bit between them. But that failed to make her feel good. Nothing about Malfoy occasioned her wanting the barriers to disappear. Back in his room, Malfoy shivered at very memory. Malfoy let his guard down for even a second and allowed himself to forget what blood she carried. Wrong, defined the whole interaction, utterly wrong. 

OOoooOOoooOO

If Malfoy seemed to grow more vehement in those two weeks of no sleep, Hermione noticed, if only because the Slytherin targeted not her- she just brushed it off when he insulted her- but those around her. 

Draco, however, withheld direct insults at her purposefully; he felt in debt to her. McGonagall would have enjoyed catching him; no doubt existed in his mind about that. The old witch resented his receiving the prefect badge, even if she never said it. 

Meanwhile, he felt Granger's eyes on him every now and then, and it unnerved him. He felt like some type of test subject that she examined for any changes. It only made him want to be more of a bully, and since he desisted insults to her, he turned to those around her.

On the other side, Hermione found herself looking for any ounce of humanity that he showed briefly at night or if it was a side-effect of the fear of getting caught. Malfoy never treated even Crabbe and Goyle, his closest friends, as anything more than lackeys. It occurred to Hermione as he never targeted her for his bullying latterly, that Malfoy took his debts seriously.

OooOooOooO

Hermione continued her nighttime wanderings which included a general avoidance of Malfoy. From what Hermione surmised, the blonde young man went out less. But by only by a couple nights, he failed to meet her current standard of going out every night. 

The weekend after their last-run, Hermione found herself staring into space towards the Slytherin table at dinner, thinking about her own research, tempted to bring up the defense against the dark arts club to Harry again. Ron literally threw a biscuit at her before she tuned back into the world around her.

"Are you coming back to the common room with us?" Harry asked, looking at her inquiringly. Hermione hesitated, her mind fully on her defense research. 

"I'll meet you there. I'm going to stop by the library to look something up." Harry shrugged and began walking off. Hermione heard Ron say as he followed Harry, "What could she possibly have to do still. She's already finished with all her homework." Hermione picked herself up off the bench and made her way to the library. 

She only searched for a little bit before she saw Malfoy lean up against the bookshelf nearby out of the corner of her eye. He waited for her to look towards him.

"Yes?" Hermione said without looking at him. Her nerves rose. He never talked to her where others might see. The times the situation arose never proved a good experience in the past.

"Do you do anything except read and wander around after dark? Muggle life that boring?" Malfoy sneered in the signature Malfoy-way. 

"Do you do anything except skulk around and get saved by muggle-borns?" Hermione snapped back, not really in the mood to listen to Malfoy's insults. Draco Malfoy shifted on his feet. "Seriously, what do you want, Malfoy?"

"The offer. About the research. I think we should do it." Hermione almost dropped her book. She almost forgot she even made the offer. The bushy-haired girl stared, book loosely in hands, wide-eyed at the boy. She couldn't fathom what he gained from accepting- especially as Hermione refused to believe he really accepted it in the first place. 

“Yes, are you slow? Oh, of course you are, so let me spell it out for you. You gave me the offer to work with you. I assume you did so because you need help. I am in debt to you. This seems like a fair trade,” Malfoy leaned back onto a bookshelf, briefly looking around to assure their conversation remained safe from prying ears. No one appeared nearby.

“You’re still benefiting from it. I would be helping you as well,” Hermione said dumbly, trying to process the Slytherin said. 

“Well, I will be having to suffer from your company, so it had to even out somehow,” Malfoy scoffed at the very idea of him working with her without major benefits.

“Oh, as if I have any interest in spending more time around you than I have to,” Hermione snapped. She put her book away, ready to leave if the conversation went south. 

“Good, then we agree this would not be pleasant for anyone. I tried to repay my debt, but you turned me down. I think we should just agree I am relieved from the debt and both go on our ways so I never have my air infected with Mudblood again,” Malfoy shifted slightly, clearly ready to have her agree and have it all be over with. Hermione listened to what he said, though. She saw that he felt it necessary for her to agree no reason existed for Draco to repay Hermione. Except, there existed a reason. Hermione wanted to know what he researched at night. Hermione matched his pose by leaning up against the bookshelf, so he knew she meant to stay and chat more. 

“I haven’t said no yet. I have a couple of questions.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Malfoy’s face went red with fury. He answered calmly though.

“What is it?” 

“Why help me? Can’t you find some easier way to pay me back?”

“What exactly do you do all night, Granger?”

“What does that have to do with anything? Why should I tell you?”

“The point is, I believe we may be researching similar topics. I don’t really need to ask you why, because I’m perfectly capable of guessing. I have my own reasons for researching it. Like I said, I see benefit to having a second hand in studies.”

“So you’re admitting you need my help?” Hermione said, her lips almost entering into a smile

“No,” Malfoy said firmly, “I just see the benefit to a second pair of eyes. Makes everything go faster. Plus, you’ve more than proven you can sneak around without getting caught. It’ll further benefit me to have someone else assuring I don’t get caught.” The pair stared at each other, as they waited for Hermione's answer. 

"Okay,” was all Hermione said. He then handed her a piece of paper and walked off without another word. Hermione waited until his blonde hair disappeared completely from sight, then looked down. It simply said, "Tonight. Midnight. The first classroom." Hermione frowned at the fact that his confidence reached high enough to write down their meeting time. She cast a vanishing spell on the paper. Hermione supposed her answer was obvious, seeing as she’d been trying to find out what he’d been researching for weeks.

That night, Hermione worried Harry and Ron might choose to stay up late. It was for naught, they went to sleep fifteen minutes before midnight, leaving Hermione alone in the common room.


	3. Healing Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” -Unknown

Five years and some months ago- July 31st, Malfoy Manor.  
Draco lay in bed, waiting for his mother to come tuck him in. He tried to tell her not to, but she always insisted upon it.

“I won’t be able to do anymore soon. Let me enjoy this while I can,” Narcissa would say, and Draco consented every time. He knew it meant a lot to his mother, so while he griped and groaned about it, he always sat through it in the end.

Tonight, it took longer than usual for Narcissa to join her son. Lucius Malfoy drank more than usual tonight and began reminiscing about the “glory days” when the Dark Lord still reigned. Ten years ago, the boy who conquered the Dark Lord came into this world. Apparently, that fact coupled with Mr. Crabbe and Mr. Goyle coming over meant Lucius needed to remember how much better the wizarding world was before the Dark Lord fell. The fathers forced their sons to sit and listen to their stories all night. It exhausted Draco, as he heard it all before. Anytime Lucius drank too much, Draco heard the same stories. Ten years of that. 

Narcissa finally came into Draco’s room with a forlorn look in her face. When she saw her son still awake, the mother put a smile on her face.

“I had to stuck your father in first, since he couldn’t walk to our room by himself. You should already be asleep,” Narcissa said sweetly, tucking the blankets in around her son. Her son just smiled back up at her. 

“You’re a good mother,” He said, knowing something upset her. Her smile became more sincere.

“Draco, if you are up for a little more of reminiscing, I think it’s time you hear another side to the ‘glory days,’” Narcissa stressed ‘glory days’ with venom in her voice. Draco sat up a little bit. His mother never talked about those times. 

“I’m fine. I’d love to hear you tell me about them. Your voice is much nicer to listen to than father’s,” Draco replied. Narcissa sat down on the edge of his bed. She combed her hand through her hair, thinking.

“Your father is right about a great many things, but his stories forget too much of the bad. Up until now, I’ve let you hear about your father’s tales endlessly, but with you going to school, you need to understand why many were glad to see the Dark Lord go,” Narcissa paused, clearly trying to find where to start. “The first thing you must know is that things were different before you were born. Your father and I were a team. We believed that the Dark Lord had all the answers. But when you have a child, as I hope you do one day, you will see that having a child changes many of your beliefs, reprioritizes others. When you love someone that unconditionally, you look for anyway to keep them safe. The Dark Lord did not have anyone he loved. For this reason, he couldn’t understand why I would no longer want to fight for him while I was pregnant. Luckily for me, he was merciful and after I agreed to still serve him in other ways, allowed me to leave. But you see, Draco, he doesn’t care who he puts in harm’s way, and many- many times he would use people’s loved ones against them. War is never something to want. People die. Sometimes it’s people that you love. You can believe all you want in a cause, but while you still have loved ones in this world, no war is worth putting them in danger. Do you know why I’m telling you all this now?” Draco shook his head.

“It’s because I want you to be careful about how you act, not only in school, but in life, too. First, don’t ever go starting wars. It’s not worth the lives. Second, be careful about who you trust at all times. You never know who might betray you. Third, never- and I mean never- put yourself in a situation where you can’t protect your loved ones. Never let someone have the upper hand.” 

That was the first time Narcissa Malfoy ever spoke ill of Lord Voldemort. That was the last time Narcissa Malfoy ever mentioned the “bad side” to the “glory days.” 

OoOoOoOoO

Present Day-  
Hermione snuck into the classroom only to find it empty. The same classroom she hid in with Draco the first time they ran into each other after curfew. Hermione purposefully arrived early to prepare herself to react in case Malfoy tried to trick her. 

However, the suspicion lacked grounding. Malfoy meandered in, right on time, as though he thought it preposterous that she might trick him. Hermione had ducked into the corner when she heard footsteps. Malfoy, in response, pointed his wand to where she hid, and for a split second, Hermione thought he might hex her. No, just double checking before lowering his wand and waving her out. As Hermione stepped over to him, Malfoy conjured two pillows for them to sit on in the darkest corner of the room. "In case we have to hide quickly," he told her. When they settled into their seats, Hermione waited quietly for Malfoy to start. 

"As I mentioned earlier, I am studying defense against the dark arts similar to yourself." Malfoy told her, diving right in.

"Why...?" Hermione asked hesitantly, not sure how much information she could get from him. 

“Regardless of the outcomes, it might serve for us to study together. Share knowledge- if you have any that is. So on and so forth,” Draco replied, brushing off her question. 

"What is Voldemort not looking like the path for you? Realizing that he might not be all he’s cracked up to be?” Hermione hoped to tease the answer out of him. 

"Oh, look, at you, all brave and saying the Dark Lord's name. It doesn't matter why. I want to know how to defend myself, and I would like more practice than what we are currently provided in our Defense Against the Dark Arts class."

"I see you are too afraid to use Voldemort's proper name, but I'd be more worried about trashing Umbridge. I believe she seems to think quite highly of you. Wouldn't want to stop being her little pet, now would you?" 

"Mudblood, you would do better to be more afraid of both of them." Silence. "What about you, Granger, finally realizing that you are the last person likely to see adulthood in one piece?"

"I'm not concerned about myself, Malfoy, but there are some people out there that would very much like to see the people I love dead, and I'm not about to let that happen," Hermione raised her nose to look down at him. Malfoy leaned back and put his feet out in front of him. His face went blank at her words. Hermione wondered at his facial expressions. They seemed to largely consist of various sneers and blank, emotionless expressions. 

"So what spells have you been studying?" Malfoy said shifting subjects.

"Everything. Anything. You?"

"I focused on trying to get background. I have been told quite a bit by a number of individuals knowledgeable on the subject, but the best counter spells never came up. I want to discover the spells most useful for a variety of defensive maneuvers,” Draco ran his hand through his hair. It occurred to Hermione that all his answers seemed practiced, as though he planned exactly what and how he told her this information. Hermione stored what he said later to dissect and reconsider. 

"So how exactly are we going to help each other? I have been practicing spells, and I don't expect you to be too keen on me practicing on you anymore then I would be for you to practice on me." 

"Wow, look at the Mudblood using her brain,” at the face Hermione gave him, Draco shifted and then said, “If we come to the point that it becomes an issue, we'll address it. But many skills can be practiced without a living subject. Two mind can accomplish more, anyways. If you agree to this arrangement, I would propose starting with me telling you the necessary background, since I’m certain your muggle-life hasn’t given you it."

“Excuse me for not being surrounded by murderers.”

“Do you want to know the background or not?” Draco snapped, already tiring of her company. His attempts to be civil were hard enough already without her running her mouth.

"You mean you would tell me everything you know about the dark arts?"

"Yes."

"What if I just listen to your information and not help you?"

"I'll use more brutal means to persuade otherwise."

"Really makes me want to trust you."

"You don't have to trust me. You just have to be able to work with me."

"I’m not actually quite certain I can do that.

"This was your idea, might I remind you? It’s not my fault all your ideas are terrible," Malfoy replied with malice. Hermione mulled over the conversation and the offer.

"How would we know where to meet? It's not safe to meet at the same place every time."

"We can plan the night before."

"What happens if I can't come out for a night? Or something goes wrong with the room we intended to meet in?" Hermione refused to admit most of the time it completely depended on her insomnia. Malfoy contemplated it. 

"We can have a sort of code. You get the Daily Prophet every day...?" Hermione nodded in reply. "Well, we could... I don't know... decide the floor by how many times Potter is insulted and the room by how many times Dumbledore is insulted?" Malfoy snickered at his own idea. Hermione wanted to make a snide comment but stopped when she realized that Malfoy’s plan worked.

"As much as I hate it, you actually have an idea there. The Daily Prophet almost always has something on them now, and if by some miracle they don't, we can just plan to meet in the library. We, of course, would just jump to the next highest number if the room that is assigned is one we can't use.... And, to make it even more random, we'll go backwards with numbers on odd number days of the month." Hermione put her hands together as she smiled at the brilliance and safety of the idea. 

"Sounds like plan then. I won’t have to risk anyone seeing me talking with a Mudblood during the day-"

"And no one will see me speaking with a git-"

"And even if one of us doesn't come out, we don't have to speak with each other to schedule the next meeting." Hermione nodded and Malfoy continued, "You really want to do this?" Draco gazed at her, studying her. He never thought… Well, any of this could transpire.

"Yeah, I guess so. I may regret it, but with the current state of affairs... What the hell?" Hermione rubbed her head, nursing a headache at the very idea of dealing with Draco every night. This all sounded insane. Yet, Hermione not only now gained another person to talk to about what she learned, but eventually, Hermione might discover what Draco’s reason for learning defense against the dark arts. 

"Then let's get started tonight. No need to wait." And Malfoy went straight into telling her a plethora of information of the leaders in the dark arts, the spells they use, and what ended up being some of their weak points. It surprised Hermione the amount of information he knew off the top of his head. Granted, he was no Hermione Granger. He stumbled plenty of times. Even more to Hermione’s surprise, some areas, Malfoy actually admitted to not knowing. About his own limitations in fact recollection, Malfoy sported a humble apology. It probably more interested Hermione to watch this new side of Malfoy than the information he reported. He even politely replied to her many questions which she interrupted him for. The information Malfoy told her turned out quite useful. She never thought about the idea that one needs to know their enemy, but now that Malfoy told her all about the enemy, she saw the exact use in it. Hermione vocally noted what areas that they might want to research the next time they meet.

They continued on in this manner for two hours more. Neither student really ever lost the feeling that they broke some major rule, but they managed to find a point of mutual professionalism in which they dealt with one another. This failed to prevent name-calling and general insults throughout.

OooooOooooO

The following two weeks, insomnia disturbed Hermione every night. Every night, she sat down in the room and shortly Malfoy joined her. The night after their first discussion, they only stayed in the assigned meeting spot briefly before sneaking to the library to gather the books on the items Hermione wanted to research. 

The night after that, Hermione began divulging what spells she decided they needed to learn. Malfoy, in the most demanding way he managed to muster, demanded she show him how to do each one of them, after he failed miserably casting them. Hermione gracefully took a deep breath and showed him. They practiced on chairs in an old classroom. Malfoy always received above average in classes (usually just below Hermione), and he proved a good student to Hermione. He even managed to swallow all his insults until after she finished showing him how to do a spell. 

Most nights, tensions rose. The pair just barely managed to avoid ripping out each other’s throats.

While the nights tested their limits of tolerance for one another, they generally managed to research and learning spells alongside one another amiably. The days, however, remained the same as always. Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger appeared the same old enemies they always were.

OoooOoooO

The night Harry agreed to teach defense against the dark arts, Hermione finally slept through the whole night. Only the end of September, Hermione felt like this year dragged like none other before it. Nights with Malfoy wore her down emotionally while the insomnia left her physically drained. That one night of sleep left her only realizing how little slept she managed to obtain most nights. 

Regardless, the insomnia came when it pleased. Which meant the following night, Hermione found herself once again meeting with the intolerable Slytherin. She snuck into the classroom indicated through the Daily Prophet code and sat down with her back against the wall. She pulled out a book from her saddlebag and conjured a small flame to both keep her warm and light for her to read by to rest by her feet. Her mind fell into the words on the page, devouring every useful item. 

"Where were you last night?" Malfoy's voice snapped before she even noticed him come in. 

"Sleeping,” Hermione stated blandly, internally groaning that Malfoy already insisted on acting unbearable. Hermione refused to look up, but she heard him step over to her. 

"Sleeping? You don't sleep? You're out here even later then I am most nights," Malfoy barked, dropping down beside her.

"I do sleep, Malfoy. It just depends on the day how much sleep actually happens."

"Mudblood miss her muggle life and can't sleep? Nah. Impossible to choose muggle life over this. So what is it then, scared of monsters under the bed, because I can easily arrange to give you a reason to be scared? Or maybe you wet the bed and don't want to go to sleep before other people in case they see the stained sheets?" Hermione ignored all of this. If Malfoy wanted to get a rise out of her, he would find himself sorely disappointed.

"Why are you always up then, Malfoy?" 

"Don't need much sleep,” Malfoy muttered.

"Okay then. Me either. Now that's settled, we should really turn to the matter at hand."

"Which is what?" Malfoy said, as though the conversation before never happened. It surprised Hermione a little, and she finally looked at him.

"Occulmency."

"I am not letting your dirty muggle mind anywhere near my beautiful one," Malfoy sneered.

"I wasn't proposing it."

"Then what, trap some first-year Griffindors to work some magic on?" Malfoy offered, as though an obvious second choice. Hermione shifted so they directly faced each other. Closer than she normally liked getting to a git like Malfoy, but she wanted the chance to strangle him if the occasion called for it, plus the flame disallowed a better option.

"We are not going to do any such thing." Hermione said sternly. Malfoy looked at her, spread one leg out and cocked the other, leaning back on his hands. Hermione felt a little trapped by his limbs with him in such a position. 

"What are you proposing with this then?"

"I don't know, that's why I mentioned it," Hermione snapped.

"Calm down, little Mudblood. Since there's no way I'm letting you in my head, nor am I going to go into that dirty mind of yours, I don't see anything we can do with that particular bit of magic. I don’t know why you’d even bring up such a thing," Malfoy said this so matter of fact, as though he didn't insult her twice in the midst of it. Then he laughed and added, “Imagine me going into your head. All books and barbarous muggle life. Oh, and probably you moaning over how Harry Potter and Weasley never pay you any attention.” He laughed at his own joke. Hermione stood up so she towered over him.

"Well, excuse me for thinking it might be a very useful skill to learn. Merlin knows you don’t offer any help in deciding what we should learn. You would still be stuck looking up theoretical background information without my books and ‘dirty mind.’” Hermione stepped over him and made to walk out of the room. Instead, she stopped and kicked him, hard, in the back. "And if you don't stop calling me a mudblood, I will make it my mission to get inside your mind, find your deepest darkest secrets and. Ruin. You." She turned and swept out of the room. 

When Hermione got back to her dorm, she scolded herself for losing her temper. Malfoy said way worse to her before. However, getting insulted every night only seemed more insufferable after even one night of reprieve. For him to storm in already angry, than act as though he in no way acted like a git just then, than to actually insult and laugh at her suggestions- spending more time with him appeared impossible. Hermione began to wonder why she agreed to help Malfoy at all. 

On the other hand, the idea of going back to working by herself again seemed unappealing. She admitted working with Malfoy spend everything along. He usually helped quite a lot in researching and his knowledge of the magical world spend up the process a great deal. Hermione hated admitting it, but she also enjoyed working with someone closer to her intelligence level- no offense to Ron and Harry. Then, there still remained the issue of why Malfoy studied defense against the dark arts in the first place. A small part of Hermione wanted to believe he might not be as dedicated to Voldemort as he appeared.

OooOooOooO

The next night, Hermione nervously went to the coded meeting room. She, as always, arrived first. 

“Listen, Malfoy, we need to talk-“ Hermione started when he walked in. She wanted to set up guidelines.

“So what are we working on today?” He asked, cutting her off. She considered him a moment, before taking his lead, and pretending as though nothing happened. Part of her wanted to push the matter, but Hermione just wanted things to go back to normal- or as normal as possible between them two. That night, the young man only insulted a handful of times, and each time he looked guilty afterwards. Hermione decided she made the right decision coming back. 

With the idea of the defense lessons with Harry's on her mind, she started calling it a night much earlier than before. The next month passed without another incident. Malfoy insulted her a lot on some days and less on others. The variation helped Hermione deal with him better. Once the D.A. officially formed, Hermione came out even less frequently. Although, she still skipped out to meet Malfoy multiple times a week. Hermione grew to trust Malfoy's intelligence, even if she didn't trust him. This respect grew to the point where Hermione began asking Malfoy about subjects to see what he knew before looking them up for herself. 

"How might people communicate with each other that they need to meet?" Hermione asked one night as they sat at a desk facing each other, both with heads in books. She had the D.A. in mind, and the past few days, Hermione desperately tried to think of a way to stop everyone running from table to table.

"Well, the Death Eaters all have the Dark Mark. The Dark Lord touches one, and the rest burn, letting them all know that they need to show up. So I guess that would be one way." Malfoy looked up briefly.

"So... Theoretically, a protean charm might be able to replicate that, right?"

"Yeah, I guess." Malfoy cocked his head and stared at her, waiting for her to explain. But she went back to her book without another word. 

Another night, after three days of Hermione actually slept all night, Malfoy showed he too felt trust for her.

"How do you do it?" Malfoy asked. He cast a spell at a mirror. Hermione cast the same right after. They took turns doing this back and forth.

"Do what?"

"Sleep some nights. Beat the insomnia." Malfoy stared at the mirror in front of him, but he stopped bothering with the spell.

"Oh." Hermione stopped to look at him. "Well, I only get it when I'm worried about something. Other nights I feel like I've done everything I can, and I force myself to stop thinking about whatever it is, because I've done what I can at the time."

"That's it? You just decide you have done as much as you can about what you're worried about?" Malfoy finally looked her way.

"Well, then some days I feel less worried about it. But its stress induced insomnia. If yours is a disorder, then it might be harder to shake." Hermione said, matter of fact. 

"So what would you suggest?" 

"Meditation? Sleep potions?" Hermione tried to grin as though she thought herself clever, but she really never found any other answers to it. She assumed he already tried these as well.

"Gee, thanks." Malfoy turned back to his mirror.

"We'll look something up tomorrow. So when you find out that I'm not coming, you can return to your dorm and try to get some sleep?" Hermione said this, and while she expected a snide comment, she received a nod and a refusal to make eye contact.

OoooOoooOoooO

The night after the Griffindor-Slytherin match, Hermione wandered into the designated classroom late due to her, Ron, and Harry's excursion to see Hagrid. Her mind chased around ideas on how to convince Hagrid to follow safe lesson plans. She sat down on the floor, pulled her knees up to her chest, and conjured a fire to warm herself on. Hermione stared into the fire, thinking about Hagrid, when Malfoy walked in. 

She only looked up when he sat down on the other side of the fire. His grin stretched across his face.

"Did you like my song, Granger? I thought it was brilliant, personally, but you could really give me insight into some more lyrics I might be able to add into it." Malfoy laid back, so his chest was close to the fire, and his arms were under his head, staring along one side of the fire up to her. Hermione almost forgot Malfoy not only got Harry and the twins banned from Quidditch but made up that horrible song as well. Hagrid consumed all her thoughts after the game. 

"You are slime, Malfoy. You're a prat that one day get what you deserve," Hermione's words dripped with hatred.

"Ouch, Granger, that really hurts coming from a Mudblood." Hermione wouldn’t take it, not tonight. She stood up. Harry and Ron were both devastated by the game, and Hagrid was in who knows what trouble. Her tolerance failed to extend to the young man in front of her.

"If I ever get the chance, Malfoy, I will kill you." Then Hermione, to her horror, burst into tears. "I am-" sniff "-done putting up with your bloody insults." Malfoy looked incredibly affronted. He tried remember if he ever saw her cry before. Draco really never imagined her crying. If he had, he never thought she could manage a pretty cry. He saw a good number of girls cry in his life- many of them because of him- but Granger so far claimed the first one who cried silently. Tears streamed down her face. After a few seconds of opening her mouth, only for nothing to come out, Hermione dipped her face into her hands. Draco, very uncomfortable, conjured a handkerchief.

"Here," He took a step around the fire, keeping half an arm's length between them. She peaked up, grabbed the handkerchief, and proceeded to melt down onto the ground- all while tears still seeping down her cheeks. Draco sat down, warily, across from her. Granger sat with her legs on either side of her, hands still covering her face. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. Not knowing what else to do, Draco sat silently watching her shake from tears. Finally, when her tears developed into small sniffles, Draco determined he would have to say something to her. Damn girls and their stupid emotions.

"So what is it? I know it can't be just because Gryffindors lost the stupid match. You can’t possibly be that invested in Potty and the Weasley twins playing Quidditch. Or did you, Potty, and King Weasley have a row?" He had noticed times in the past when the golden trio fell into odds with one another. More than that, Draco knew Granger cared deeply for her friends and wouldn't have been the least bit surprised if she said she was just upset that her friends were banned from Quidditch. 

However, Draco hoped she would tell him to mind his own business. He really didn't care to know the intricacies about this muggle-born's life- a subject they thus far under in no way breached. Focus always stayed on their research. True they occasionally walked the line of personal and professional, but that usually consisted of insults.

"Men are bloody idiots," Granger muttered, peaking through the handkerchief up at him. While her eyes glistened with tears, her expression appeared fierce. Draco chuckled at how the girl still mustered all that passionate anger after crying for the better part of an hour. Granger pulled her face out of her hands, targeting all her frustration at him, "Something funny, Malfoy?" Malfoy grinned, a real grin, not a sneer or the smirks that remained a Malfoy signature. Hermione noticed Malfoy looked handsome in that dark room with a grin spread across his face. At the same time, Hermione scrunched her nose at her stupid emotions and mentally swatted the thought away. 

"I'm just so glad. Here I was worried you were going to start telling me all your emotions, but the first thing out of your mouth is... so very you," Malfoy relaxed his legs, stretching them out so his feet lay on one side of her. 

"What do you mean by that," Hermione stuck her fierce gaze on that young man, daring him to insult her.

"You insulted the intelligence of another, and by doing so, reasserted that you are clearly more brilliant than... In this case, all of the male gender."

"I asserted no such thing," Hermione sniffled, looking away from the blonde. Malfoy nudged her knee with his foot, "But you think it." He gave her another grin. 

"I wouldn't have to if people weren't so stupid. I mean, seriously, how many times do I have to prove that I know what I'm bloody talking about to get people to stop disregarding what I'm saying?" Hermione ranted. It felt good to say what she thought and know that even if Malfoy judged her, she didn't care. 

"Well, if it makes you feel better, we don't even like each other, and I would listen to your warnings. But, we both know that I'm smarter than most people at this school, especially compared to the people you surround yourself with."

Hermione hesitated and in the process, threw herself dramatically on the ground so that she lay on her back. "Hate each other, and I know no such thing," she sniffed. Malfoy moved over so he sat right next to her, looking down at her, his legs stretched out alongside her.

"You know, I think I'm going to have to memorize this sight. Hermione Granger, face all blotchy from tears, having cried for the last half an hour. I had truly hoped the first time I saw this sight it would be because I was the direct cause. Damn those Pottys and Weasels for knowing the key to making a mudblood cry." The words were mean, but his tone was not. She smiled lightly. 

"How does it feel to be beat by Gryffindors at everything, Malfoy," Granger dabbed her eye with a handkerchief. 

"Like I'm just biding my time to destroy them brilliantly," he reached over and poked her cheek. Almost an endearing interaction. Almost. If he hadn’t done it harder than necessary.

"Well, by the looks of it, you won't have to do anything but stand back and watch." At that, Malfoy actually let out a full laugh. 

"Sh, Granger, someone might hear you; I won't have you spoiling my plans." Hermione grinned back at him. After a brief silence, awkward at best, Hermione broke it by asking about OWLS. Malfoy went along with it, as he grew up hearing about the importance of OWLS and NEWTS. Suddenly, walls crumbled between them. They discussed their struggles in different classes, homework assignments, and even some of their best mistakes in classes. 

When it was time to go, Malfoy stood up first and offered his hands to help her up. Hermione replied with a quizzical look.

"I already have to take a shower to get mudblood off me, a little more won't hurt," Hermione made a face at the degrading term, but it began to lose its meaning with the lack of malice Malfoy put behind it. It sounded like a nickname, a useless word with a meaning now slurred. Not that she wanted him to keep using it, it just suddenly deficient of the harm it usually caused. Hermione grabbed his hands and let him pull her up. Hermione gazed at Draco for just a moment. ‘I can see why he manages to woo girls, even if he’s a git the majority of the time,’ Hermione thought before she properly defended her mind against the thought. 

They parted ways silently. Hermione thought about thanking him, but she decided against it as he really didn’t do anything. He just acted like himself. Which, honestly, was just what she needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a unique chapter as it includes a flashback. I really went back and forth on including it here. However, I felt that if I didn't, Draco's personality loses something important.
> 
> Since this is a trilogy (probably). You will see more of Draco's side of things in part 2. :) I hope you are enjoying!


	4. Teenage Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you something great will come of it.” –We Bought a Zoo.

The next few days, Hermione attempted to not worry about Hagrid, but when he refused to take her suggestions, it wore her deep. She slept horribly. If Malfoy guessed the reason for her sudden spike of insomnia, he kept it to himself. Monday night, Hermione fought with herself on whether to bring up the upcoming class with Malfoy. 

Currently, the pair attempted an advanced spell that, if properly cast, turns furniture into objects which attacks anyone trying to harm the caster. With the spell cast properly, the furniture took a stance between the caster and anyone else. Halfway through the night, neither witch nor wizard managed to come even close to success. Malfoy, however, knew Hermione well enough to know she should have made progress by now. 

"Granger, you're distracted, you need to focus more. You can't be letting daily troubles get in the way. What happens when you have a real problem and you're having to defend yourself at the same time?" Malfoy scolded her, trying the spell himself one more time before walking over to her. Hermione frowned sadly and looked down at the table in front of her that remained immobile.

"Malfoy..." Hermione started, failing to find the words to ask him. Malfoy plopped down on top of the table, legs spread so she almost stood between the long limbs. It forced her to look at him.

"Do all mudbloods have this much trouble with words? Muggle-life really make your brain that dull," Malfoy teased, poking her with his wand.

"Shut up." Pause. Then in one breathe, Hermione said, "Malfoy, you need to not be a git for one day of your life tomorrow and let Hagrid have a good class if Umbridge is watching our class." Hermione forced herself to not think about what kind of favor she asked of him. Malfoy stared at her thoughtfully. 

"Granger, even if I wanted to help you or that great brute, I can't without some serious questions being raised. Besides, why do you even care? You cannot say that you would rather have him teach. Professor Grubbly-Plank was sincerely a good teacher." Malfoy rested back on his hands behind him. Hermione felt tempted to lie, but a part of her mind told her not to. Her best chance with Malfoy would come from being honest.

"No, I can't say that, but I also don't want Hagrid gone from this school because that terrible women kicks him out of his position."

"It's going to happen whether I say something or not. If I don't, someone else will. And even if by some miracle I were to get every single Slytherin to not say something. Umbridge is going to get him fired. She hates half-breeds, you know. She has a superiority complex higher than even most Slytherins I know. If it wasn't for the fact Umbridge was furious that no one would tell her where Hagrid was, she would have been hoping he was off somewhere dying."

"Malfoy, isn't there something you can do?" Granger demanded. Malfoy considered telling her he didn’t want to do any such thing. However, instead, he told her the truth:

"Granger, what I can do is be me. Hagrid doesn't like me. I almost got his Hippogriff killed- don't look at me like that, we both know it's alive and well somewhere. At the very least, I can hope to pull most of the sting out of it by allowing him to think it is just the evil of Slytherins and not actually something he's doing wrong." Malfoy slipped down off the table. They were close when he looked into her eyes and said, "I really do think that it's for the best. One of Dumbledore's major flaws is that he is too nice. He focuses on being nice rather than on what's actually sometimes is best the students. Hagrid should not be a teacher." Then he motioned to the door, "You need some sleep before tomorrow." He then followed her out of the door without another word.

OoooOoooO

The next day, Hermione thought about hexing Malfoy right in the middle of class in front of everyone. He stayed with only legitimate concerns about the safety of the creatures, Hermione admitted, but his words still flew around Hermione, pecking at her skin. While Pansy Parkinson lied about understanding Hagrid, Draco looked directly at Hermione. While he kept a smirk cemented on his face, his eyes bore into Hermione's. Even as he laughed along with his little whore, he continued glancing at Hermione. Hermione tried to figure out what he strained to communicate with her. Was he trying to apologize? Or, more likely, was Malfoy trying to assert that this should not interrupt their research? 

When Hermione tiptoed into the meeting room, late because she almost decided not to come, Malfoy sat on a plethora of pillows that he formed to make a lounge for himself, reading.

"Parkinson sure is hilarious, Malfoy. You sure have gotten yourself quite the catch there. I bet all the other boy's she's been with were with her because of her sense of humor, too," Hermione chided, trying to get a raise out of him. She wanted a chance to rip Malfoy apart, the reason unnecessary.

"Well, not everyone can have such good luck as you do with King Weasley. Though, if you're not careful, someone might think you're jealous of Pansy," Malfoy said putting his book down. Hermione pulled two pillows from underneath Malfoy's head and propped them up against the wall for her to lean against. 

"The only person vain enough to think that is you, Malfoy, and you have a big enough ego to fill all of Hogwarts. And Hogsmeade," Hermione made a face of disgust. She reached over and plucked his book from where it rested on his chest so she might get a glimpse of the title. 

"When you have the reason, be proud. Oh, but a Mudblood like you could never understand that. The only reason you have to be proud is that you get to spend your nights in the company of a Malfoy," the blonde young man fired back. Hermione flipped through the book non-committedly. She opened her mouth to reply when Malfoy reached to pull the book out of her hands, forcing her to meet his gaze. Only then did Hermione realize she sat much closer then she felt comfortable to the pureblood. The witch let go of the book and shifted slightly away from him.

"No one would be happy to be in your company, Malfoy, much less be proud of it. You're a git on your best of days."

"And you're a Mudblood, no matter what day it is. And in times like this, I would much rather be a git then a Mudblood." Hermione just glared at him momentarily before reaching behind her and smacking Malfoy straight in the face with one of her pillows. His face showed only shock, and without a second word, he smacked her with one of his pillows. They proceeded to viciously attack each other with pillows, but it soon transitioned to a much more playful fight. When the anger pressed up against reason, it flopped short. Hermione and Malfoy both knew what to expect from one another, and they expect no less than dislike. So with some stress out, the two nighttime companions found themselves in a place where they believed they knew where they stood.

They only stopped when Hermione, to her disgust, squealed with delight, and they both realized their volume rose louder than they meant for it to. The pair shared a meaningful look that communicated easily- they needed to move in case someone heard. Draco quickly conjured away the pillows, pulled Hermione up by the wrist, pulled her by the hand out the door. They quietly scurried down the hall, just trying to put some distance between them and the room, when they heard footsteps outside of their own. They ducked behind the nearest doorway, which unfortunately, turned out to be a small broom closet. Draco held her hand for a moment longer before realizing his actions. He made a face of disgust at her as he dropped it. Hermione simply sent the look right back at him. Practically flesh against each other, the pair looked at each other as the footsteps passed. Both knew if the person opened the door, the scene would appear quite risqué. With the footsteps gone, they shared a silent glance of agreement to wait longer.

Hermione wondered as she stood there, feeling heat radiating from Malfoy, when she started understanding Malfoy's subtle facial expressions. Not to mention, even when hidden behind the sneer he seemed to permanently wear when around her.

Time passed and Malfoy opened the door, peeking his head out. When sure no one lingered outside, he put his hand on the small of her back and led her out. Despite appearing gentlemanly, she decided he only did it so she would get caught first if someone saw them exiting the closet. They quietly found a safe classroom to settle in. They conjured two pillows to lean against. After a few moments of quiet...

"We should start looking up ways to make secrets unable to be found out or broken," Malfoy said suddenly.

"What? Why is that useful?" Hermione asked, although she already thought of how she hexed the page for the D.A. and the usefulness of it if anyone ever told. 

"Because everyone has secrets and sometimes those secrets can be used against them if they aren't careful," Draco stared at the hand that touched her and made a face. How many times would he end up touching this Mudblood before he died from disease?

"Well, there are things like secret-keepers, although that is arguably a flawed system. Look at what happened to the Potter's." As she said this, Hermione wondered if Malfoy knew the real story behind what happened to the Potter's. How much did Malfoy know in general? Was he in the know-how with the Death Eaters, was that why he suddenly asked about secret spells? It occurred to Hermione that she too had a great deal of secrets. At the same time, it occurred to her that if Malfoy found out many of them, it could endanger many of her loved ones. "Has it ever occurred to you that we are risking injuring our loved ones by doing this? We are on two different sides of this war. We are going to have to fight each other one day. It might not be safe for either of us to be helping one another." Hermione looked at him, because she never realized until it left her mouth how true it was. Wars usually last a long time, and they leave scars both visible and invisible. The likelihood of Hermione and Draco graduating before the end of it grew greater every day. With both of their alliances where they stood, they both undoubtedly would join the fighting. 

"That's true, but you can't deny we learn more together than alone, and is it worth it to give that up, just in case we have to fight one another?" Draco twirled his wand, staring into Granger's eyes. She still looked uncertain, so he continued on with something that he knew foolproof to someone like her- the words of elders such as Dumbledore and the Sorting Hat- "Besides, even people of different houses are supposed to stand together, aren't they?" If he thought about it, it might occur to Draco that he had no reason to convince her to stay working with him. In fact, he never intended to stay partners with her this long. This thought only occurred to him years down the road, when he looked back at these days. For now, he convinced himself of the convenience of it. 

"Yes, and I think we may be on common ground as to why we are studying defense against the dark arts," Hermione stated. For the first time, Draco nodded, acknowledging the common ground. They both wanted to protect their loved ones and wanted to assure that he-who-must-not-be-named never controlled their lives.

OooOooOooOooO

Time passed quickly after that. The insomnia persisted through December’s arrival. Between homework and worries about what victims already suffered from Voldemort’s return ate Hermione to her core. Her frustration grew with the Daily Prophet’s lack of acknowledgement of Voldemort’s return. Malfoy continued to call her names, and she continued to return the favor. However, their relationship grew in their partnership. Their intelligence supplemented one another’s thirst for knowledge. They occasionally even discussed school, though still stepping carefully to not breach subjects where they disagreed (such as whether or not Harry and Ron deserved all Malfoy’s bullying). 

The pair still maintained hatred in public view, and not a single person realized that at night, they existed in another world entirely. The unlikely duo changed only in subtle differences, so subtle Hermione was the only teenager likely to notice it. She, alas, remained willfully ignorant, finding it too strange to admit herself. 

The subtleties consisted in the little interactions. Eye contact held longer than necessary. Other times the nature of an insult lay too personal, too knowledgeable of the other’s lives. Even more obscure, the changes in facial expressions while they spoke to one another. All these subtle actions spoke conversations between the two only they understood.

No one managed to make the connection between both of them leaving their dormitories every night. The young ladies Hermione roomed with never blinked an eye when Hermione’s bed remained empty for most of the night. They assumed she remained downstairs studying. Draco, meanwhile, simply made up lies if anyone asked. Lies such as, “pulling a trick on some Griffindors” or “meeting with a Hufflepuff girl,” easily fell within the realm of believability. Most of the time, no one cared. The Slytherin House encouraged secrets. 

In their sessions, they matched each other well in almost every way. They challenged one another and pressed each other to work harder. The pair understood the importance of setting aside differences for reasons of greater importance. Their shared aims to be the best at everything they do but were also able to be mature enough to accept when they were not the best. In their intelligence, Malfoy made up the gap in his knowledge (Hermione outreached his intelligence by a good bit) by knowing information about the wizarding world and the dark arts hard to find in books. Past that, Hermione learned that Malfoy always knew a large amount of gossip about what went on in the school. While he never expressly told her how he managed it, Hermione suspected a mixture of bullying, lackeys doing his bidding, and sneaking around gave him all the information he knew. 

A week before Christmas break, they sat in a corner of the library with a low blue flame that Hermione conjured to keep them warm and allow them a little light to read by. They sat up against a wall, with the flame sitting harmlessly on the windowsill behind their heads. Due to the low lighting and cold temperatures, they found themselves sitting quite close, a subconscious act for both. 

Hermione nudged Malfoy in the side. He looked over, she pointed at her book. Tonight, they searched for ways to confuse an attacker. The spell in Hermione’s book consisted of a spell which caused the attacker target something or someone else. 

"That's brilliant, although if you aren't careful, you could have them attacking someone on your side," Malfoy whispered, before snickering and adding on, "So time to bring in the first-years to test on?" Hermione elbowed him, harder than before, giving him a stern, "no," to accompany it. Malfoy pushed his shoulder into her, trying to knock her over. He wore a smirk that allowed Hermione know his assault meant no real home. She lost her balance regardless though and grabbed his leg to steady herself. As soon as she reset her position, Hermione immediately let go of his leg, ignoring the blush creeping to her face covered only by the darkness from Draco’s gaze. In the rare moments where the distance between them was minimal, Hermione always became hyper aware of herself. 

"We can practice on our friends, assuming you are smart enough to come up with a reason for your friends to go along with it," Hermione said with her own smirk. She already thought of a way to convince Harry and Ron to let her test it on them- "for the sake of the D.A". 

"Crabbe and Goyle don't need reasons; they do what I ask them," Malfoy nodded, leaning in towards her to read more of the description of the spell. With him leaning into her shoulder, his face only inches from hers, it only called more attention to the situation. Hermione grew agitated as she thought of how it never bothered her when Harry and Ron got close to her. ‘Must be because I don’t trust Draco,’ Hermione lied to herself. The teenage girl let out a breath as Malfoy pulled away.

"Do you want to plan on teaching me the wand work the next meeting?" His whole body leaned into the length of hers, their shoulders, arms, hips, and legs touching. Hermione thanked her past self for not making a bigger fire. Brighter light might illuminate her flushed cheeks. On the other hand, it might have allowed them to not be so close together. 

"Well, it might be one of our last before the break, so maybe we should just wait until after we get back in order to actually try learning the spell." Hermione's eyes wanted to dart away from his, but she refused to risk him realizing how uncomfortable she was with their proximity. Over the last month, Draco invaded her personal space quite often- an act assuredly done to bother her. This vicinity reached a new high for invasion. Usually they just sat close enough to stay warm or easily share books without much movement or even close enough to whisper directions to one another as they tried to practice different spells. 

"So this might just be the last time I spend my nights side by side with a mudblood? What a relief. I was starting to feel like your dirt might begin staining my skin."

"Yeah, we can take a break and recover the terrible mental scarring from this much time together," Hermione rolled her eyes. She set down the book and reach up to extinguish the fire, being forced to lean towards Malfoy to reach it properly. Right as she had reached the fire, Hermione sensed herself being watched and looked at Malfoy in response.

She froze.

Malfoy stared straight at her lips. His eyes rose to her eyes as he became aware that she stopped moving. Malfoy's whole face filled with a wicked grin. Hermione dropped her arm and made to move back. Hermione never saw that expression before, but it frightened her. 

Quicker, the young man reached his hand to cup the back of her head. Malfoy still wore that grin, that grin that told Hermione he thought something terribly hilarious, when he close the distance between them. Hermione went into such a state of shock that she couldn't think, much less move. When their lips met, two thoughts came to her mind finally. One: wrong. Two: what kissable lips. He then moved his lips along the line of her chin, and planted soft kisses as he moved down towards her neck. When his lips met her neck, Hermione fell, scandalized, out of shock. She let out of stern "Malfoy" and attempted to pull away. Draco pulled away only for a moment long enough to look into her eyes and kiss her on the lips again. This time, his mouth parted and a tongue traced her lip. Hermione enjoyed it, loved the feel of it- specifically, loved the feel of his lips. So for one of the few times in her life, Hermione acted without thinking everything through. 

Hermione Granger kissed Draco Malfoy back.

They sat, kissing for at least half an hour, perhaps more. Draco finally pulled away. The devilish grin returned to his face. Something else now joined this expression. The new look Hermione recognized as the one Draco wore when he did something naughty and thought himself brilliant for it. He stood up, extinguished the fire, all the while the young witch struggled with a mind in overdrive and shock coursing through her everything. Draco helped her up. A good thing as, otherwise, Hermione might have stayed there all night. 

Draco, meanwhile, wanted to chuckle at the witch, but he knew better than to chuckle at a girl after snogging her. He stunned girls with more experience than Hermione by his kissing- he was, after all, extremely brilliant at kissing. Rather, Draco acted the part of a gentlemen (‘just for tonight,’ he told himself). He took her hand and crept her as close as he knew to where the Gryffindor tower. Part of him wished he knew where it was so he could enjoy her astonishment a bit longer.

But he didn't, so instead, Malfoy flicked her cheek. Hermione jumped and muttered a low “ow,” rubbing her cheek as she glared at him.

"You need to wake up, little Mudblood. You're going to have to make it back to the cub's den by yourself. You can't be daydreaming about me if you don't want to get caught."

"Dreams? Hah. Nightmares more like it." Hermione fired back feebly.

"Go home, Little mudblood. I'll see you again before the end of the term, I'm sure." Malfoy then turned and left without another word. 

Despite Hermione’s mind running with confusion, Hermione fell swiftly asleep. For once, Hermione fell asleep unconcerned about the worries which ran her mind most days. 

Draco, likewise, fell asleep quickly. His mind lacked the confusion of Hermione’s. Instead, his mind fell asleep to thoughts of how much he enjoyed that snog. How much he wanted it to happen again. For that night, Draco existed as only a teenager, with all possible consequences ignored for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final scene here is one of the first I imagined for this fic when I started writing it. I knew I wanted it to not really be something they thought about before it happened. I wanted it to just happen, because I think if they thought about it, they both wouldn't have been able to. I know for some it might be a little cheesy, but it makes me smile imagining it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!


	5. Irresistable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The key to happiness is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be.” -Unknown

The next day, when she went down to the Great Hall with Harry and Ron for breakfast, her eyes automatically flicked to the Slytherin table. Malfoy laughed along with his friends as usual. Which made Hermione both furious and glad at the same time. On one hand, she fumed over his physical attack (kissing her without permission) which he apparently thought nothing of. On the other hand, Malfoy not acting differently assured her that maybe the kiss meant nothing. She felt comfortable in their camaraderie based on a mutual respect for learning. Hermione never intended for their relationship to turn into anything else.

The rest of the day passed without anything of note. Even what attention Malfoy paid to Harry, Ron, and Hermione fell below the usual abuse. The young witch worked hard to keep her face as tempered as always. 

That night, Hermione lay awake in her bed, fighting with herself on whether to meet Malfoy. Didn't they already establish that they needed to wait until after Christmas to start on anything? Why pick out more spells to learn before they learned the other ones? Then again, if Hermione went, she might be able to release some of this irritation she felt towards him. If Malfoy remained good for anything, Hermione considered it his allowance of her insulting and yelling at him whenever she felt like it. 

The latter feeling won over the nervousness of seeing Malfoy alone again. But she left later than usual, so much so she arrived about half an hour late to their meeting. Hermione told herself maybe he already left before she got there; it calmed her nerves a bit to tell herself that. However, just in case, she fumed on the way over to the room and made herself very angry by the time she got to the room so to ready herself for a fight. As the witch walked through the doorway, she caught sight of Malfoy. She shut the door before turning back to look at him. He stalked over to her with an angry look in his eyes. Suddenly, all nerves left her as fear took over. She had never before seen that expression in his face. She backed up, sidestepping to try to get around him, and put her hands up in a defensive stance. She hit the wall behind her.

"Malfoy... I-I..." Hermione lacked any sense of what to say as she didn’t know what was wrong. She wasn't given a chance to try to make sense of it all. Instead, Malfoy put arms on either side of her, hands up against the wall, leaned down to her height, and quickly engulfed her with hot kisses. His mouth demanded acceptance this time, unlike the tentative, gentle kisses of the previous night. His mouth immediately met hers slightly open and his tongue slid into her mouth, licking her lips in the process. Hermione's hands tightened where they lay on his chest reflexively. Hermione’s mind disappeared from her head.

Draco's mind, meanwhile, finally felt gratified after a long day. Waking up after dreaming all night of the Mudblood and those amazingly kissable lips, he found himself in an amazing mood. He told himself that the acceptance of the kiss signified his control over her, like a servant, since Hermione made no effort to stop him the night before. All day, he made an effort not to act differently, even though he wanted to look at the witch every second she remained in the same room. Draco desperately wanted to examine the young women he intertwined with the night before. Instead, he went on with his day. Pansy attempted to flirt with him that evening, but he quickly dismissed her. Nothing interested him but the idea of getting to Hermione sooner. So when Hermione arrived late, his emotions flurried between desire and annoyance at her lateness. 

Their hands modestly explored one another, Draco taking Hermione’s lead.  
The kissing went on for some time until Hermione ended it by pushing him away gently. 

"This is wrong," She croaked suddenly. Hermione didn’t even realize she had any thoughts to speak of until they were spoken out loud. Her hands had shoved him away by the chest but now felt glued to his chest. 

"You're point, Granger?" Draco stared into her eyes with a devilish grin spread across his face. His hand now untangled from her hair only to caress her jawline. His other hand seemed perfectly content where it lay on her hip. Low on her hip.

"What are we doing?" Hermione tried to not focus on his hands, his lips, the feel of his chest under her hands, but instead on those brief thoughts of panic flittering in and out of her mind. The difficulty of it remained constant no matter Hermione’s intent.

"We were snogging, if I'm not mistaken, and both entirely enjoying it." His thumb now traced her bottom lip.

"Are we going to keep doing this?" Hermione asked suddenly, with the words slipping out of her the same way a question in class might. It seemed to Hermione a great idea to continue this impulsive move, if only she prevented herself from thinking about anything other than how it felt. His hand dropped from her face and brushed back the hair from her face.

"Eh." Malfoy shrugged, she felt her annoyance raise. "It is fun, though, isn't it?" Her indignation rose a level more. She wanted not to think about the situation, but Malfoy acting like a git ensured her brain functionality turned back on.

"Well, I don't know about that. It is temporarily entertaining I guess, but it is hardly something to go out of my way for," Hermione said this to try to poke a hole in Malfoy's inflated ego, but the words failed to reach the blonde boy. He refused to say anything back to her, but rather began leaning back towards her, as though he tired of the discussion. 

"What about Pansy? Don't you have something going with her?" Hermione said quickly. She relied on her brain and kissing Malfoy seemed to completely shut it off. 

It was not as though this was a new experience to Hermione. Hermione enjoyed kissing Viktor Krum a great deal when it happened. But this experience resulted in something different within Hermione. This dug deep inside her mind, and Hermione felt like her whole existence shifted. 

"Why? Interested in dating me now, Granger?" Malfoy laughed, softly, not moving away. Draco immediately saw a game to play with the fresh-eyed Gryffindor. If he messed with her head, Draco intended to abuse the ability.

"Ha. Over my dead body. I just am not into encouraging cheating, especially by being the other woman." Hermione turned her face as she said this, not appreciating Malfoy laughing at her. 

"Oh, if that's the case, I guess I'm not dating her." Malfoy began placing small kisses on her neck. Hermione pushed him away, gently.

"I'm serious. And while you know I'm being serious, if you ever mention to a single person that I've let a sleazy prat like you come near me, I'll curse you into a muggle existence without a second thought." Hermione said this sternly and looked him straight in the eye. Draco chuckled at her fire.

"You don't ever have to worry about that. I'd never admit to going near a Mudblood as dirty as you." He said this with such a matter of a face tone, Hermione believed him. He stayed apart from her and went on, "Is the weasel king going to okay with snogging someone else?" 

"This doesn't involve Ron," Hermione frowned at the implication. Draco normally tried to poke at ways that he knew pulled her strings. Hermione felt more discussion was likely only to cause them to fight, so she quickly wrapped her hands around his back and pulled him forward so their lips once again entwined.


	6. Everything You Know Is Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what’s really important in life.” –Unknown

The next two weeks easily fell into the category of confusing. Hermione and Draco almost exclusively went and made out during their nightly meetings. They returned to the dorms much earlier than before, but their meetings became consistent. They hardly talked, and never once more did they breach the topic of “them.” Silently, they enjoyed the moments as they came, ignoring all their thoughts that told them of the dangers.

The rare moments a discussion occurred, they talked of school or Christmas break. Hermione found out Draco planned to reside in his townhouse in London; his parents, apparently, refused to commit to joining him there. Hermione told him about skiing. All about it in fact as he suffered to show slight interest in the idea of the sport (unlike Ron who laughed whenever Hermione brought it up). Not that he voiced it as such, but Draco asked questions on how it worked and on its origin, even while insulting it. Unlike with Ron, Hermione felt safe to admit that she somewhat dreaded the trip with her parents and already sent them a letter requesting to stay with Ron and Harry once again.

This brought up a longer discussion another night, in which Draco remarked how lenient Hermione's parents about letting her stay with Ron and Harry. Hermione explained that her parents used to worry about sending her off to Hogwarts, but her parents learned to trust her- more out of necessity than anything else. Hermione, in response, tried to tell them as much as possible about what went on at Hogwarts. Some she left out, or altered a bit, because no muggle parent needed to know about her close call with a werewolf, but as for Voldemort and all the potential dangers, Hermione talked it through heavily. Her parents came to trust her opinion and her abilities. Very little was left out of the honesty that Hermione shared with her parents, and nothing that really changed the importance of a story. Plus, her parents and Mrs. Weasley shared a long talk the first time she ever spent a break with the Weasleys. Mrs. Weasley destroyed any concerns her parents expressed with stern commitment that if any shenanigans were to occur, Hermione would be sent straight home and the boys of the house would find themselves punished severely. All of this, Hermione told to Draco. All of this, he listened with quiet interest.

This meant nothing to assure their hatred subsided. They still threw daily insults back and forth almost as often as they spent their time in each other's arms. The hatred only once again shaped to fit the pairs wants.

As for the physical aspect of their relationship, Draco never pushed Hermione, and Hermione never felt a call yet to move any further as she was fully enjoying herself in the current state. So heavy snogging and chaste touching remained the norm with no variations outside of it.

OoooOoooO

The week before break began, the letter came from her parents expressing both a complete dejection for losing out on time with their daughter but also understanding that their child wanted to stay with her friends. So another letter found its way to Mrs. Weasley requesting permission to stay with them over the holidays. The reply returned shortly saying, "Hermione, you never need to ask. You are always welcome in our house. There is certainly not enough female presence in here most of the time. See you soon, Molly Weasley." Hermione, ecstatic, told Draco the news. Draco made a face, but expressed gladness that even a Mudblood escaped muggle life on occasion. Then he proceeded to kiss her. 

OooOooO

The last day of school came in a flash. That morning Hermione woke up feeling refreshed. Draco and her spent the previous night snogging as usual. It felt right for whatever they were not to share a sad goodbye- the definition of their relationship fell short of anything past a common appreciation for one another’s company. Hermione found herself only happy to leave Hogwarts behind to stay in the company of her two best friends and their families.

However, misfortune followed her friends and she woke up to a note on her end table by her bed. She recognized the scrawling handwriting that labeled the note for her. She ripped the note open and quickly read. 'Please stop by my office as soon as possible with all discretion possible.' Hermione's mind found no answer as to why the Headmaster requested her attentions on the last day of term. She hesitated momentarily in the lounge, thinking of telling Harry and Ron. However, the insistence on discretion moved her in the direction of Dumbledore's office. 

On her way there, Umbridge passed by her in a fuming rage about something. Hermione almost made it past her without incident but Umbridge saw her through the fire in the last second.

"WHERE IS HARRY POTTER?" Umbridge shouted in her face without ceremony. Hermione's mouth dropped open in shock.

"I- I don't know. In his dorm room or perhaps the Great Hall, I s- suppose." Hermione stuttered. 

"LIES! I KNOW YOU KNOW WHERE THEY ARE?" Umbridge stood inches from her face, spitting all over her. 

"Dolores, that is quite enough. I have already explained the situation with you, and as I called Miss Granger here to tell her where her friends are, there is no need to be questioning her on the matter as well." Dumbledore's voice said from behind Umbridge. Umbridge stomped off in a fitful rage without bothering to look at him. Hermione turned to look at Dumbledore. "Would you care to join me in my office?" Dumbledore held the door as Hermione nodded and scrambled inside. 

"Please sit down, Miss Granger," Hermione followed orders, "Well, now that Professor Umbridge has been kind enough to break the news to you, I suppose I can jump right to it. You will find when you go down to breakfast this morning that Misters Weasleys, Miss Weasley, and Mr. Potter are all missing. There was an unfortunate accident with Mr. Arthur Weasley being attacked by a snake. It would appear he is fine, but he has had to be hospitalized at St. Mungo's for further treatment. Due to an early warning we received, I was able to send them over to Grimmauld place as soon as possible so they might be close by. It is my understanding they plan on staying there for the time being."

"Was this on Order business, Professor?" Hermione inquired.

"I'm sure that everyone will fill you in when you get to the house. For now, you need breakfast and I need to send a letter still before breakfast. Merry Christmas, Miss Granger," Dumbledore dismissed her. She uttered holiday wishes back to him and wandered out the door. Mr. Weasley hurt! She knew from the moment Dumbledore began his explanation that it must be Order business. Hermione still wondered about the way Professor Dumbledore articulated "early warning" and, then, about how he knew she intended to stay with the Weasleys. Hermione thirsted for information, but trusted Dumbledore, so she went to breakfast as he bid.

OoooooOoooooO

The sun already sat past the center of the sky when Hermione climbed on the Hogwarts Express. She lost track of her Gryffindor peers, who Hermione planned on sitting with, in the scramble so she settled into a car by herself in hopes someone might turn up. 

Her head soon ducked into a book that she picked up for some light reading. Not much later, the door opened and a single person appeared. Hermione looked up as Draco hesitated momentarily, her shock prevented her from speaking right away herself. He left her no time to speak before he threw a diary at her. 

"The first half you write in, the second half you make sure no one sees. The lock is charmed so only you can unlock it," then he left the car as quickly as he came. Hermione cautiously looked down at the diary. It just seemed like a simple journal, leather bound, expensive, with a lock and key binding the diary. She unlocked it and flipped through the pages. All empty. As she reached up to rifle through her carpet bag to find a quill and ink, the door opened and Neville, Dean, and Seamus joined her. She tucked the diary away and enthusiastically accepted them inside. 

OooOooO

Only much later, after the horrid trip on the Knight Bus and talking Harry out of his stupor, the diary finally returned to Hermione’s mind. Ginny lay fast asleep already as Hermione settled into her shared room. After rifling through her bag, Hermione found the diary and looked upon it with all the interest of someone who loved a good puzzle. Why a diary? What for? Why go to such lengths to keep it from other's eyes? Hermione unlocked it and scanned the pages once more. Upon finding nothing, she pulled out an ink and quill.

As she dipped the quill in the ink, Hermione remembered one other diary she encountered over her years at Hogwarts- Riddle's. Hermione instantly turned suspicious of the item. However, she lay in the delicate position where anyone who she might ask for help would immediately demand an explanation as to why she trusted anything from Draco Malfoy. 

So, Hermione dipped her quill and let a drop of ink fall onto the page. Minutes passed as she stared at the ink spot. Hermione ran through everything she knew about Riddle's diary. That diary talked back. Ginny needed to trust it with her thoughts and feelings. Plus, as Ginny pointed out to Harry today, obvious black outs occurred when Riddle possessed her. Granted, if anything possessed Hermione now, it put the whole Order in danger. With that thought, she shoved it away underneath her clothes in her dresser. Hermione lay down in bed thinking about all the possibilities for the diary. Her list lacked any assurance as she knew nothing about the diary.

Her curiosity grew so great and dissatisfaction with not knowing where to even start researching so intense that sometime near midnight Hermione rolled out of bed and pulled the diary back out. 

This time, Hermione unlocked it, opened it, and wrote a simple 'hello' to start with. It stood there glistening wet. Nothing happened, then all of the sudden, the book flipped to the back and writing began appearing as though with an invisible quill. Neat, embellished cursive with large loops on small letters. Clearly someone who took care with their handwriting, but Hermione never saw it before. She read it as it played out.

"Have you figured out what this is yet?" The diary asked.

"Not exactly. It reminds me of a diary my friend encountered a few years ago, though." She wrote back on the page from before, right under the still glistening words of the first page.

"That may have been an inspiration for this diary." 

"But the words don't disappear, so I don't think it's possessed."

"Correct. Five points for the Mudblood. Now, for another five points, can you tell me what spells I used?" And with that, Hermione knew exactly what lay in front of her. Clever, Hermione thought, spelling the book so they could communicate over break. Of course, it looked like Malfoy did not make this book to be reusable, since only a finite amount of pages existed. The fact he thought to make the book in the first place utterly surprised her. She wrote back the list of spells exactly, thinking through all they learned over the course of the year so far, and he congratulated her for "being a smart mudblood." 

"So you knew about the diary?" Hermione wrote ignoring Malfoy's insults.

"Not exactly. I knew my dad wanted to get it into the school without giving it any connection to me. I knew that when you wrote in it; it talked back. Only afterwards did I find out that it was the Weaslette under control of the book that opened the Chamber our second year. And I know that my dad never wanted to directly talk about what the book actually was and how it managed to have so much power."

"You wrote in it?"

"My dad and a friend talked about it as though it was a precious diary and mentioned needing someone to write in it consistently. So I wrote in it one night and met Tom Riddle."

"Do you know who that is?" 

"I didn't."

"But you do now." Malfoy didn't reply. "Ironic, isn't it?" Still no reply. Hermione wondered if he was gone or just refusing to talk about this subject. "How is Christmas break going," She tried instead.

"Quiet. Mother and father are in the country house for business so it’s just me and the house elves. Mother has come to visit already and will be here for Christmas. Father has made no such promises. It's okay though. There is plenty to do here. I'm in London so I am not isolated from the wizarding world if I get bored." Hermione almost felt bad for Draco. To be so alone around Christmas, that sounded terrible. Granted, Hermione had a sneaking suspicious the reason it was like that was because the Malfoy's had company of the lesser variety at their country home. "How's yours?"

"I'm with the Weasleys and Harry, so it’s good. I came here with already a bit of drama, but it's soothed over now. We're in London, too. Staying at a friend's house."

"Potter and the Weasleys were gone before the last day. You weren't sitting with them on the train or at breakfast."

"Are you asking me what happened or are you telling me?" Hermione was curious how far his information expanded.

"Going to be in London all Christmas?" Malfoy evaded the question.

"It's looking that way." 

"Maybe we can meet up, sometime." Hermione gaped at this suggestion.

"It might be hard to get away without suspicion." Hermione replied, unsure what else to say.

"I'm sure you could figure it out. Think about it."

"If I didn’t know better, I might say that was a compliment to my intelligence, Malfoy." 

"Mudbloods apparently don't know how to say thank you."

"So do you sleep better at home then you do at school?" Hermione changed the subject.

"Sometimes. Sometimes worse. Kind of just depends on what's going on. It comes and goes. Just is turned on and off for larger chunks than yours. Do you think you'll sleep better now?"

"Not really. Well, maybe. It's awfully cheerful here. Everyone is very happy since Mr. Weasley is bound to get better under the watch of St. Mungo's healers. It's so different from muggle hospitals. It is too bad the wizarding community can't open up some of their remedies to muggles. Muggles have so many ailments which could be healed with just a little magic."

"Why should we do that for them? For years they persecuted us. Granted, they were too stupid to actually be able to do anything, but they still did it. Besides, what could they do for us in return for our magic? Nothing. We have magic better than anything they can give to us in return."

"Now, you have to be fair, muggles have found brilliant ways of getting around a lack of magic. Look at automobiles and televisions. Those are brilliant inventions in light of floo network, owls, and other magical variants."

"I know very little about automobiles other then they stink up the road and are loud. And I know nothing about television."

"You really should be taking muggle studies."

"Yeah, right. That's the most useless subject. Might as well just waste my time with Divination, too. I still don't get why you're taking it. You grew up with muggles."

"But it's sooo interesting to learn about it from a wizard's perspective." And on and on, they wrote back and forth, filling a good part of the book that very first night. By the time they decided to call it a night, the morning creeped around the corner.

That first night, the pair shared a sense of comfort as they fell asleep in their beds. Perhaps that comfort came from the habit of talking to one another before sleeping, it happened more often than not. Or perhaps, the pair came to depend on each other’s company, regardless of the time of day. Just perhaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be out of the country without my laptop for two weeks starting tomorrow. So this is my attempt to make sure I'm still on track for one chapter a week. :) I hope you enjoy these two latest chapters. Please let me know of any thoughts you have one the series. I love constructive criticism. While the first part is mostly written, I am still working on part two (set in books 6 and 7) so if you have thoughts as we go, tell me now!
> 
> Thanks for everyone who leaves me kudos and comments! It makes me super giddy everytime I see them! Makes it so worth it to share my horrible corruptions of J.K. Rowling's beautiful world.


	7. For You Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There’s no other way to say it. I just need you here with me. I miss you. Plain and simple." -Unknown

The Christmas holidays loomed and every night, the two corresponded through the diary. The point came where Hermione started writing Draco before Ginny even went to bed. Hermione just explained it away that she began a diary to record the war in and that at the end of the diary she wrote notes to herself (to explain the constantly flipping pages). The temptation even came to bring the diary out during the day and write something to Malfoy, but she knew Ron would tease her about having a diary. 

Malfoy still belittled her often, still called her Mudblood several times a night. However, the conversations, all of them, cushioned the insults, so Hermione just skimmed over it as a superfluous word. 

Belittling or not, the blonde wizard turned into the first person she felt allowed to ask the "stupid" questions. The ones that all wizards and witches who grew up knew. He never insulted her intelligence, not really, for not knowing something because of her muggle-born past. Never even laughed at her, usually found it interesting instead, the things she did not know. Hermione, in return, told him about the muggle world. Although he always insisted he didn’t want to know about it, Malfoy also never directly told her to stop telling him about it. Hermione found a hesitation in his writing. Hermione allowed herself to think Malfoy actually wanted to know about muggles. A curious enough young man, Hermione found it difficult to believe that his curiosity ended so abruptly when it came to muggles. So Hermione began to tell him more about the type of life foreign to wizards.

Mention of Hermione sneaking out to meet him escaped discussion, but that Malfoy felt very lonely this Christmas break remained evident. Especially after one night when they both reminisced about Christmas' past. Both only children, their parents lavished them both with attention and gifts during Christmas. It turned out this would be his first Christmas alone; Hermione pitied him as she spent her days happily with friends. 

When she wrote to him at night, Hermione always wrote first, but he always replied right away. At first, Hermione thought that perhaps he put a spell to alert him when she wrote, but another part of her said his repeated mentions of loneliness hit closer to the core.

Moments arose when Hermione actually thought of mentioning them meeting- usually after Hermione found herself thinking once again of their kisses. The memories of those kisses felt so surreal now. The person who wrote to her every night never coalesced with her thoughts of Malfoy. 

Still neither witch nor wizard entertained any feelings for one another. They resolutely thought of one another with detest. A common respect existed, but they remained enemies all the same. 

OoooOoooO

Christmas day came with a flurry. Their conversation the night before lasted just long enough for Hermione to find out that Draco expected his parents when he woke and for a mutual wish of a merry Christmas.

The start of Christmas went as Hermione suspected it to. She received a sweater and chocolates from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Ginny gave her a candle which’s light only lit for the user, probably the most useful gift considering how she kept staying up late to write. Then Harry gave her the book and the perfume from Ron, both appreciated if not the latter a little more questionable. Her parents sent her several gifts, via the owl she sent their gifts with. They consisted of many muggle fictional books and an envelope full of money for Hermione to use on whatever magical gift she chose for herself. Both always beloved gifts for the young witch.

With festivities in the morning, the whole crew except Sirius went to St. Mungo's to visit Mr. Weasley after lunch. There Hermione watched as Mrs. Weasley encountered her husband testing muggle medicine on himself and felt the pain of the Longbottoms. When everyone arrived back at Grimmauld Place for dinner, Hermione felt weighted by the memory of what war meant for many. Back in her room, Hermione pulled off her shoes and then she stopped as she reached the doorway to head back downstairs. Grabbing the diary, she wrote, "How is your Christmas going?" She waited a few moments. Nothing. Hermione began closing it when it pushed against her hand to fly open to one of Malfoy's pages.

"Been better. Parents sent more presents than ever with a letter apologizing profusely about not being here for Christmas. Yours?"

"Was going great until we ran into the Longbottoms at St. Mungo's. How could someone do that to two people?"

"There are a lot of people who cause pain for the joy of it. The Longbottoms suffered what they did for what they believed in. They believed in saving people. Don’t mourn them, because I doubt they would change a thing if they could- even if it meant them seeing their son grow up. They did it for him, after all, at least in part." Hermione knew if she found herself in their position, she would have acted the exact same. The fact Malfoy reminded her of their braveness, told her something of him. Hermione dipped her quill in some ink to write back when Ginny poked her head in to ask for help in the kitchen, in a voice signifying that Fred and George decided to help in her stead. 

“You’re right. I think in the end, the only reason to fight a war, if you aren’t insane, is to make a better world for your loved ones. Anyways, I am being called to help keep the twins from catching the house on fire. If you're still bored, I'll write you some more after dinner." Hermione swiftly shut the diary and locked it before running down the stairs. 

OoooOoooO

After dinner, Hermione went back up to the room, excusing herself under the guise of exhaustion. With the diary unlocked and opened, Hermione noticed a new entry in Malfoy's section. 

"You could do me one better. Come visit me." Hermione gaped. Certainly he could not actually mean that. Her, a muggle-born, go to the Malfoy's house. Preposterous. 

"I see your first Christmas alone is causing you borderline insanity."

Right away the book flipped to the back, "I'm serious."

"Isn't there some spells that would make muggle-borns burst into flames just for walking into your house?"

"So you won't come?"

"What am I supposed to tell everyone here, 'Oh, I'll see you all later, I'm going to go skip over to Draco Malfoy's place for a cuppa'?" 

"Since when are you afraid to sneak around?"

"Since everyone is awake."

"Tell them you want to go for a walk. They'll be in bed by the time you'd be back anyways."

"You sound awfully certain that this isn’t the worst idea in the world."

"Place a spell on your bed to make people think you're there."

"Now you're just sounding desperate."

"Please." Everything in her mind warned her against going to Malfoy's, but that one word made her quiet it all. The young witch tried to remember a time when he said please before, when he ever asked her for anything like this. She couldn’t. The idea flitted in her mind of a trick, but Malfoy never once gave her cause to distrust him.

"I don't know where you live." The address quickly appeared on a page. His house was not far from Grimmauld's Place. No more than a mile tops. Walking remained an option. It seemed so peculiar to know he lived so close to where she resided. Though on second thought, the distance to Diagon Alley made it an ideal location for wizards who wanted to stay off the immediate radar.

"I'm coming as soon as I can reasonably get out." Hermione sighed, questioning her sanity.

"Don't knock when you get here. I'll be watching out the window. I have banned the house elves from telling my parents anything I've been doing over break, but even they have loose lips at times so I'd rather limit their exposure to you."

"I suppose after Dobby, I'd be wary too." Malfoy failed to reply, but Hermione took his silence as an agreement. Diary locked and safely put away, the witch traveled back down the stairs to the living room everyone gathered in. Only Mrs. Weasley and Ginny looked up when she came in, the gentlemen of the group too busy in an unfamiliar wizarding game. 

"I'm feeling a bit out of sorts. I'm going to go for a nice long walk to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. Don't wait up for me. I feel it's going to be one of those long nights again." Both Weasley women knew what she meant, as soon after Ginny found out about Hermione's affliction, she insisted Hermione talk to Mrs. Weasley to find out if any potions existed to help her. Of course, there were, but Hermione hated the deep sleep it put her in. Nightmares often occurred and she fretted even more over the thought of the inability to wake properly when she needed to. Hermione explained this to both women, and they allowed her to handle her insomnia without further question. 

So, this particular night, the women nodded and allowed Hermione on her way without question.

The bushy haired young lady found the sense to cast a spell to avoid peering eyes as she approached the doorstep to a massive house in a very rich neighborhood. Victorian in style, the house looked exactly as Hermione expected from a rich wizarding family. Lavender with dark green shutters and roof, a wrap-around porch and tower all gave the look of eloquence and prosperity while still maintaining a standoffish appearance. No lights appeared on, but dark curtains over every window made it hard to tell. Hermione felt the magic radiating off of it as she peered up from the lawn at it. Every other house in the neighborhood upheld a superior aura about them as the Malfoy's house, but this particular house suggested you stay away from it as well.

Hermione took a deep breath of air and made her way up the front steps. She stood by the door, waiting for a sign of life. The doorway opened with a flood of light, and Draco pulled her inside quickly. 

Without a word, he shut the door and embraced her. After shock passed by her, Hermione encircled her arms around his waist to match his embrace. They stood in each other's arms for a long moment before Draco let her go.

"And I just had got the stains off me from the last time," He muttered but his grin brightened the room so much that Hermione never thought to second guessed coming at his request. Draco's face beamed as he took one of her hands in his. This drastic change from the last time she saw him startled her. Hermione never imagined Draco this altered. A fleeting insincerity caused her to wonder if this was his way of rebelling against the parents that left him alone for the holidays. 

Draco began pulling her through all the rooms and showing off his house to her. This room and that existed for this purpose or that. Then a room Draco never saw used, because his parents insisted it existed only for the most important guests. Another room that Hermione only saw the door of; his father's office. “The most dangerous of dark arts objects are somewhere hidden in there," Draco whispered with a grin to Hermione. The muggle-born witch only knew of the Weasley's chaotic life of wizarding objects thrown about like children's toys. The only other wizarding house she had for comparison was Grimmauld Place, which still remained in such disuse and covered in dark arts that it simply made Hermione feel too on edge to explore. Here, though, the whole place seemed immaculate in its elegance and refinery- every item placed with meticulous choice for the best atmosphere of a room. Almost every item besides the major furniture seemed to sport some magical aspect about it; even the major furniture, it remained unclear if they held magical properties. If Draco’s hand didn’t remain in hers, Hermione doubted whether she would have ever left the first room he showed her. 

Hermione followed with a mouth firmly stuck in an "o" position, all the way up the stairs. Here a great number of bedrooms, a room for potions and experiments, and a library. The library stopped Hermione. It took up a whole corner of the house where a tower rose up from the house. All the walls were books for three stories. There were spirals of bookshelves in the center, double-sided for maximum use. Draco showed her how one traveled using a magic carpet- an actual magic carpet- to travel around to the various levels of bookshelves.

Then he whisked her off to a bedroom, closing the door behind him. More a suite, then a simple bedroom, with a small sitting room with a huge couch and fireplace as well as a desk against one wall, the room overwhelmed Hermione. Above the fireplace hung a painting of an ocean, with waves splashing against a sandy beach in the moonlight. By the placement of the moon, Hermione guessed that the time of day changed with the actual time of day. The only wall decoration in the room, the beauty of the moving water clearly needed no other decorations. The room had pale green walls traced with a darker green design and mahogany paneling. All the furniture had matching mahogany and dark green fabrics. Draco pointed to one door on one side which he explained led to his bathroom and then lead her through the other door. Here was the actual bedroom. A four poster bed took up most of the room with an impressive dresser of intricate design on one wall. None of the childhood mementos that still littered her room seemed present in this room, in fact, it sported the same careful elegance as the rest of the house. However, the coloring differed from the other room. This room sported various shades of blues. A light, sandy shade of wood replaced the mahogany; the paired with the blues reminded Hermione of the waves in the ocean scene.

Draco tugged on her hand to go back into the sitting room. His face still sported the look of a child showing off.

"No muggles have houses like this?" Draco sat down on the couch, pulling her down next to him. She moved to try to allow space between them, but he wrapped his arm around her, tugging her closer instead.

"Not any that I know." Hermione assented, because it surely stood above any house Hermione ever entered. Silence fell between them. Draco held her close to his side, staring ahead into the fire. Hermione felt so warm and cozy that she let the silence fall. When Draco spoke finally, Hermione found herself letting his voice circle around, hugging her in a different sort of warmth.

"I really didn't think they would leave me here. Especially my mum. She was always so big on family time. It was the one thing that she demanded of my father. He would be working on something and it would be the one time I was ever scared of my mum, and my father was, too. I think remembering the fights didn't help me today. Holidays sometimes brought the biggest fights, because it was the only time I ever remember my mum standing up to my father. She always won too. So it feels so utterly wrong that they aren't here." Hermione glanced up at him out of the corner of her eyes. Draco wore a straight lined frown. An internal battle clearly waged on whether or not to keep talking. It felt slightly awkward, to talk about personal feelings in person, even to Hermione. True, they chatted about plenty while at school and through the diary they talked about a lot. But usually they still kept a distance. The distance closed in that room when Hermione decided to close the silence. 

"It must have been terrible being here with just the house elves for company all break," Hermione frowned, staring at him, trying to work out this situation with Draco in her mind.

"I spent a lot of time reading. I imagined it was much like you probably were before you managed to make those losers of your friends at Hogwarts," Draco tightened his arm around her, as though he thought she might move at the insult.

"I had muggle friends before I went to Hogwarts," Hermione said indignantly. 

"I'm so sorry," Draco said with a sneer.

"If I didn't hate you so much, I might have tried to convince Harry and Ron to invite you to join us in our festivities," Hermione fired back at him.

"Oh, how I have missed out!" The blonde boy replied sarcastically. Hermione managed to pull away long enough to look at him. She regretted it as soon as she did. They remained awfully close, and Hermione found herself staring straight into his pale blue eyes. The corner of Draco's mouth tilted upward in a devilish grin. 

"Which is worse then, Malfoy, spending your holidays with muggle-borns or house-elves," Hermione's voice dropped to a whisper, her eyes drooping temporarily to his lips. The hand not resting casually on her leg from when she had pulled away went up to her face. His hand ran along her cheek and into her out-of-control hair. 

"Well, house elves know their place unlike mudbloods," His head tipped towards hers. She leaned forward to meet him, but she stopped right before their lips met.

"I would not have the slightest idea what you are talking about," Hermione teased, looking into his now open eyes. Draco stared at her with annoyance. He resented her for stopping like that, it implied he lacked control over her.

"Well, perhaps I just need to show you," Draco then pushed her onto her back on the couch. Draco then proceeded to put one of his legs between hers as he sprawled over the top of her. His hands propped him up above her. Her heart raced away from her like a snitch.

At this moment, Hermione realized she actually lay alone in a strange house with a young man who already showed interest in her. What were his hopes when he invited her here? Hermione started to internally panic. She reasoned that Draco never once tried to cross any line past kissing, but... his bedroom sat feet away.

"I- I don't think that's n-necessary," Hermione gasped as Draco kissed her neck. He ignored her and prevented further talk by covering her mouth with his. Hermione forced herself to the dull blankness that Draco's kisses caused in her mind. Before long, the distanced closed between them, though neither noticed until Draco reflexively pressed his hips towards hers. Hermione became incredibly aware of the situation once again and stopped responding to Draco, scared. Draco pulled away, looking at her, cheeks flushed with the heat between them. He smirked.

"I guess only Slytherins are unafraid of snakes," Draco teased as he slid to one side of Hermione. He still lay flesh against her, but it put distance between them in way to calm Hermione’s nerves. He grabbed her hand with his free one and caressed it. 

Only seconds passed but Hermione felt minutes flew by. Her face blushed brightly at everything about the night, and at the same time, her embarrassment at clearly leading Draco on. She avoided his eye contact. 

Once Draco allowed a couple minutes to pass, he dropped her hand and pulled her face back to his and started kissing her again. This time, nothing happened more than what occurred at school. Finally, he pulled away.

"Just so you know, I know ladies like to tease, but I am not someone to tease, Granger. I will not keep refraining myself if you keep this up," Malfoy gave her a kiss on the cheek. Hermione's face went red with the implication.

"I- I can assure you; I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even think about it when I came over. I just-" Hermione stumbled, not sure what to say. 

"I’m teasing. I’m sorry I got carried away," Draco gave her a short, but entirely passionate kiss. Draco then maneuvered expertly so that he lay on his back, with the witch draped across him. They lay there in an embrace, caressing hands and allowing their hearts to slow. 

Hermione lay there thinking, wondering, and found herself with a nagging question.

"Have you done that before?" Hermione muttered into his shirt.

"Done what?" Hermione glared up to see him grinning. "Yes, I have."

"With who," slipped out of her mouth before she could stop the words. He looked down, amused at her.

"Pansy, a couple older girls. Why?" Draco said, unembarrassed by the truth.

"When did you first?" Hermione tucked her head back down, not really embarrassed by the discussion, as much as unsure how to talk about it with Malfoy. It failed to surprise Hermione that Malfoy lived up to his reputation. Slytherins often did.

"Last year," Draco said matter of fact, his hand tracing its way up and down her arm now.

"Wow. With Pansy?” Hermione muttered, feeling a rise of jealousy. Hermione knew Draco told her before him and Pansy broke up (or the equivalent to whatever they were), but the way Pansy hung all over him at school made Hermione wonder if Draco told the complete truth. Now, on top of that, they shared such intimacies as Hermione refused to give him.

"No, neither of us were virgins when we were together. An older girl. Doesn’t matter who. Happened once. Never will happen again." Draco told her honestly. 

"Oh," Hermione said, not sure what else to say.

"You know, Granger, it almost sounded right there like you were jealous," Draco smirked.

"In your dreams, Malfoy. It sickens me just to think of doing something like that with you," Hermione said it to tease but Draco's hand stilled where it traced over her skin.

"Well, I will make sure to not overstep my bounds here," Draco said darkly. Hermione realized immediately the mistake she made. Her fright at Draco moving faster paired with her teasing clearly harmed Draco's ego. While Hermione intended to save herself, she also wanted to continue whatever her and Draco shared. So Hermione took a precautious move. When she began kissing him, she did so with gusto, but with caution, trying not to do anything to give him ideas. He responded in kind, allow the young witch to take charge. This time, Hermione pulled back. 

"I enjoy this," Hermione murmured after some time.

"What?" Draco asked.

"Laying here. Kissing you."

"Well, no surprises there." Silence fell once again, and both allowed it settle. Neither felt bothered by it.

“What do you want to do? You know, after we graduate?" Hermione finally said into his chest, hand wrapped around Draco's.

"I think I want to do something in government, something with just as much power as Minister of Magic but with less attention. That's the problem with being Minister, you know, you have all this attention on you, and if anything goes wrong, a lot of heat gets put on you. So I'd probably like to be head of a department, perhaps something like the Magical Enforcement Department. What about you? Want to settle down with a muggle and sell muggle books for a living?" Draco teased lightly.

"That actually wouldn't be a bad life to me. But, no, I think I want more than just books. Books are a hobby and I'd certainly never say no to writing if I ever had something that I thought was worth writing about, but... I don't know honestly. I want to do something good for the wizarding world. I've thought about doing more to advocate for better treatment of House Elves, but I feel that is so singular. I want to help more than just house elves. I want to help all mistreated magical creatures. I think perhaps I would like to do something in government. Never anything like Auror. That's more Harry and Ron's deal. I want to be the one's writing laws, not enforcing them. So maybe I'll go for Minister of Magic. I don't mind the spotlight."

"I would have never guessed," Draco muttered thinking of the way she always tried to answer any question first that the teachers asked.

"Well, anyways, I’m still learning about the magical world, so maybe I’ll change my mind. Maybe I’ll just go do research on magical abilities and properties,” She replied. 

"I should have guessed you would be a do-gooder."

"Some people have to counteract when you only add bad to the world." This lead to a session of insult throwing. Once they satisfied their plethora of insults towards one another, the pair fell back to the discussion of what might happen after Hogwarts.

"It surprises me that you say Auror is more Potter and Weasley's thing. Neither of them are smart enough for that. I mean, Potter's dumb luck and fame might be able to carry him there, but Weasley- please!" Draco started chuckling at the very thought.

"Harry is brilliant. Maybe not so much book-smart, but he has the wit and skill to make it in action. He has the guts to make it there. Ron has the motivation to do it as well. Ron can be so amazing when he puts his mind to something."

"Sure. And Longbottom will be the next headmaster of Hogwarts."

"Well, why not? I could easily see him teaching Herbology and he has the loyalty and braveness to make people adore him."

"Do you have a crush on Longbottom, Granger?"

"Shut up. All I'm saying is that Neville has traits which would make him a great headmaster. Although I'm not so sure his confidence would be there. He has bravery when he needs it, but the confidence he still lacks. Regardless, he has a much better chance than Crabbe and Goyle at a good future."

"Nah, Greg and Charlie have connections. Besides, there is always a need for some muscles somewhere, and they follow directions well. They have a great chance to end up somewhere helping someone else do great things, like me." 

"I guess if anyone ever needed someone to protect them from muggles, Crabbe and Goyle would be the people to do it. They'd be useless against wizards though. They are even worse in classes then Harry and Ron."

"They do alright. Now, if you want to talk about someone who won't do anything with their lives, I'm betting on Lovegood."

"Well, she likely will take over the Quibbler from her father, and I mean, she'll do well at that type of thing.” 

“Maybe,” Draco paused for a long moment, “You know, I bet if we paired together, we could completely take over the wizarding world.” 

“What?” Hermione startled at the suggestion. Draco looked at her with a trained gaze of indifference.

“Think about it. Most individuals don’t really trust my family in full, but we have a good amount of control anyways. If I paired with a muggle-born, it could help my reputation in places where it’s weakest. Not only that, but your intelligence would prove vital to any maneuver I needed to do.”

“I’m not hearing the part where this helps me in any way.”

“Well, quite a bit. I know people. You can get a great deal with your intelligence alone, but knowing people speeds up the process quite a bit. I know exactly who to talk to in order to achieve certain political goals. I know how to rally people behind an idea. With you intelligence and muggle-born perspective, and me with my contacts and pure-blood status, we would cover every possible political obstacle. No one would question that we only work together for political reasons, so it wouldn’t harm either of our reputations. We would be the most powerful, rich individuals in the wizarding world.”

“While I have to say, you are right, we would be. I think it’s important to point out not everyone's goal is to get rich and powerful, Malfoy," Hermione said, mostly because she didn’t want Malfoy confusing her ambition.

"That's because they are too stupid to realize how much happiness money can bring."

"Money doesn't bring happiness. It just brings things."

"No, it brings happiness. Look at it this way, my father has enough money he could bribe just about anyone to do anything. I can do whatever makes me happy, because my father has the leeway to get people to let me do whatever I want. He uses his money, and I am happy."

"What about interacting with muggleborns? Your dad still going to use his money to make you happy there," Hermione fired, not moving but her whole body tensing up at the outrage she felt at Draco's shallow talk of money.

"In different times, he might have," Draco said quietly, realizing he touched a nerve.

"What about the Weasleys? They are so incredibly happy and they struggle with money all the time. You don't need happiness, and I think if you weren't so concerned about money, you'd be a lot happier." 

"The Weasleys are blood traitors. Their happiness has brought a son who has disowned the family, a joke of a father, and connection with the riff raff of society right now." 

"What do blood traitors matter anyways? Muggles are going to be around regardless and wizarding families would be going extinct if not for muggle-borns and wizards marrying muggles. In fact, I suspect that every wizarding family started with a muggle-born!" Hermione was now propped up on her elbow staring down at him.

"Shut your dirty mouth, Mudblood, you don't know what you're talking about. We could survive perfectly fine without the muggle infestation, it only pulls us down." The words came from his father's edict. Even as Draco said the words, he stared at a hole in the logic.

"Have you ever heard of the muggle theory of evolution?" Hermione glared at Draco, but quickly saw the light disappear from his eyes, so she took a deep breath to calm down.

"No, I suppose even if I say I don't care about it, you're going to tell me anyways." Hermione ignored him, just as he guessed, and began telling him all about it. Which brought them to a very long discussion about muggle science, or at least, Hermione went on a rant about it, only stopping briefly to ask if Draco knew about something or not. If he said yes, she'd skip it and go on with something else. If he said no, Hermione weaved off onto a tangent telling him all about it. His face never really betrayed any feelings on the matter, but Hermione knew if it really uninterested him, the young wizard would have stopped her from continuing. Due to an upbringing which left no place for questions about muggles, Hermione found him extremely willing to find out how they get on without magic. 

They spent all night this way, chatting for a while, arguing for a bit. Sunrise glimmered on the horizon when Hermione thought to ask the time and found that if she wanted to get any sleep she needed to leave. Draco gave her a long embrace before he allowed her to leave his house. 

Hermione practically skipped back to Grimmauld's Place. She enjoyed herself more in the last few hours than she had in a long time. Draco treated her with more kindness than she ever saw him even exhibit before, and that meant quite a bit to Hermione.

Draco closed the door after Hermione and smiled. He just invited the muggle-born over because he felt bored and lonely and depressed. However, Draco found so much satisfaction in just cuddling and talking for hours. He found himself in an amazing mood after Hermione left and even thanked the house elf who brought him coffee that morning- the house elf nearly dropped the coffee pot he held in response. 

However, Draco's own happiness soon ended. The day before he traveled back to Hogwarts, his father finally showed up to the town house. Mr. Malfoy called out for his son to meet him. He invited Draco to sit across from him in the study. Draco sat, quietly, wary of the look his father wore- one Draco knew well. This same look Mr. Malfoy wore every time he planned a harsh interrogation of his son. 

"Draco, I have been informed that you had a visitor over the holidays," the older man said without warning. It caught Draco off-guard. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Draco replied, perhaps a little too swiftly.

"Draco, don't play with me. I know for a fact you had a visitor. Unfortunately I don't know who that visitor is, but as you just attempted to lie to me, I take that to mean it is someone I wouldn't want in my house. Now, you had better tell me who it was, or I will make you regret attempting to lie to me." Draco's mouth went dry. He thought quickly.

"Pansy. It was just Pansy. I didn't want to get either of us in trouble for her spending the night. I was bored being here alone. Perhaps if I was giving more company than just the house elves I wouldn't have to resort to entertaining myself through sneaking girls into the house," Draco retorted with vicious anger. Lucius eyed his son as though to try to see if he lied. He seemed to accept this as a plausible answer from a teenage boy, and since he actually knew nothing about who it was, Lucius accepted it as the truth.

"Draco, these are not the times to be sneaking around. If you begin sneaking around and acting untrustworthy, people are going to begin getting suspicious. These are not times to be getting people not to trust you. If one member of the family begins looking like they are doing anything suspicious to the Dark Lord, it could reflect badly on the whole family. The Dark Lord kills people for a lot less, and he would easily kill our whole family as an example to anyone else that might not be trustworthy. You must be careful. Furthermore, from here on out, you mustn't invite over anyone without asking me. We cannot trust a great deal of people, and even if they are only your peers, they may still have malicious intent against you and the family. If they get their hands on anything incriminating, they could not only ruin the Dark Lord's plans and by doing so put us in a bad position with the Dark Lord, but they could disable us from helping the Dark Lord and prevent us from ridding this world of the scum that is in it. Draco, from here on out, you must act with extreme caution. You cannot risk giving our enemies weapons to use against us, nor can you risk giving the Dark Lord a reason to not trust us. It is not just your head on the line here." Mr. Malfoy gravely warned his son. Draco looked at his father, thinking more of his mother and how his actions might end up hurting her. While proud of his father, Draco only really loved his mother. Not only the primary caregiver to Draco, but also the only of the two parents to show love to Draco. 

"I understand," Draco said dutifully, and he did. Draco knew the Granger girl already gained enough to cause a headache if she decided to speak up about their escapades. The real risk remained, however, in Draco allowing her into his house. If she managed to sneak away for even a moment, Granger might have obtained incriminating evidence of the Malfoy family and destroy them forever. Draco left his father's office feeling extremely ashamed of his own actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a really talky section, but I feel that is the only way that they can get to know each other. They are going to continue to talk, fight, and talk some more because they are two intelligent teenagers who have no one else to talk to. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay in posting. Being out of the country and all got ahead of me! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! More to come next week!


	8. Break the Spell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Love is giving someone the power to destroy you… but trusting them not to.” –Unknown

Malfoy arrived at Hogwarts without seeing the young witch. He knew when he finally saw her, it would be hard to be full on horrid to her. He suffered uncertainties on how to push her away.

The very first full day of school passed as normal. Malfoy took pleasure in morning Potions as he watched Snape reach a new level of horrible to Potter. The blonde young man knew Potter wasn’t nearly as terrible at Potions as Snape made him out to be, but that knowledge only made it more enjoyable to watch Snape torment his peer. 

Draco watched Potter in Potions when he realized Granger, in turn, stared at him. None of the glow showed in her face from their last encounter, but the edges of her mouth turned up slightly when they locked eyes. Draco put on his best scowl and only further his resolved to end their interactions. If she started acting friendly in public, it only assured pain would come to someone he loved. He knew his father never exaggerated about danger; an association with a muggle-born endangered his whole family.

That night, Malfoy arrived in the assigned room late to their meeting. Nerves ran through him as he thought of how best to scare her away. Insults fell short of the trick. He insulted her daily, and she still returned. 

Hermione sat at a desk reading a book when he arrived. However, as soon as Malfoy closed the door behind him, the witch jumped up and flung herself towards him in a move to hug him. Malfoy quickly moved out of the way and glared at the young women, who stood confused where he just been a moment ago.

"What do you think you're doing?" Malfoy snapped at her.

"The same thing that you did to me not too long ago," Hermione replied with the same ferocity. 

"Yes, but that was a special Christmas present to you for your services. Malfoy’s do not give out gifts often." Malfoy moved to sit at one of the desks in the room, spreading his legs apart in an insolent manner.

"My services.... You dirty little slimbag. I did not have to go over to your house. I could have stayed put spending time with my loved ones. I could have left you alone. Do. Not. Dare. Act like I was doing anything but a favor to you- not that you deserve it might I add. I just actually have a heart unlike you.” Hermione stamped toward him so she hovered over him menacingly. 

"Wow, you really are delusional. As if I would ever need a favor from a Mudblood. Check yourself, Mudblood. I got you to do exactly what I wanted to do," Draco looked away from the young women. When he looked at her, her appearance- all flushed and angry- only made him want to kiss her. Or was it something else that made him want to kiss her- her passion, her conviction, or maybe her downright refusal to let him get away with anything she deemed wrong?

"Yes, you did. Only because I actually have a heart to pity you. Pity you, you git, because you don’t have a single person who loves you more than they love their fervent obsession against removing muggle-borns from this Earth," Hermione couldn’t fathom what overtook Malfoy in the last 24 hours, but something happened to change him from the sweet gentleman who held her in his arms and wrote to her every day during the holidays. Her blood rang with fury at the thought he thought himself capable of tricking her into doing what he wanted. 

So without a second thought, Hermione reached up and smacked him across the face. If knocking the sense into another turned out to be real rather than figurative, Hermione's hit was hard enough to do just that. Unfortunately, the saying remained a saying, and the slap only served to anger the wizard. Draco pounced upwards, cornering Hermione against the desk behind her. 

“You make me laugh," He let out a dry laugh, “I don’t need anyone, that’s where you are mistaken. I keep people around only at my convenience- like you for instance. As if I could ever need your pity, my life is perfect. One day the world will be as it should and dirt like you will be removed from annoying me.” He shook with anger about the slap. Hermione held her chin high, unwilling to feel fear. 

Draco hesitated only a moment and gave her a kiss. Hermione startled back as she thought he moved to strike her. Instead, his mouth found her neck. Her knees shook, and she quickly dissolved into the kiss. Suddenly, she found herself on the desk. For a moment, she worried about what Draco might attempt in his anger, but the way he kissed her… She felt no anger from him. The kiss lacked aggression, but spilled of starved passion. Whatever caused the alteration appeared only skin deep, as whatever led Draco to kiss her apparently lived deep enough to overpower the shallow alteration.

When they finally pulled apart, Hermione already resolved about how to deal with his decision to act like a fool.

"Malfoy, if you ever, and I mean ever, try to act like you tricked me- or actually try to trick me for that matter, I will put everything I have into destroying you," and then she pulled him close and dug her teeth into his neck. He jerked slightly but gripped her arms in encouragement. She only released his neck after a good long moment and pushed him away from her entirely. Malfoy stumbled back in a daze, confused at her sudden distance. Hermione jumped down from the desk, gave him a naughty smile, and turned to make her leave. At the door, she stopped.

"Do not ever forget: I am the best in our class. If you want to keep infuriating me and cornering me in rooms, you might not like what my reflex response," Then she bounced out of the room. 

Back in the room, Draco reached up to where she bit him. The witch entranced him with every move she made and every word she spoke. Power radiated off of her, kindness fell off her like glitter, and intelligence encircled her whole being. He wanted so badly to not feel attracted to her, but his hormones won over his worries. The war felt too far away. Snogging a muggle-born seemed so insignificant to the rest of the whole world. In his world, it mattered. It mattered to see her rage, hear her talk passionately about her every thought, share in her excitement when she discovered some new piece of useful information, to watch her care for everyone, even those who didn’t deserve it. 

OoOoOoOoO

The next night, Draco almost skipped his meeting with the witch. The Daily Prophet's story on the Death Eaters escaping troubled him too much to sleep. True, he supported Voldemort’s return to power, but at the same time, the danger of Voldemort never escaped him. So Draco went to the meeting spot with all the intention to truly study. Hermione sat there with books spread out about her. Apparently, the pair shared feelings about the outbreak. 

"I have a lot of ideas of things to study," Hermione said, looking up at the young man.

"Good," he replied as he sat across from her at a table set near the back wall of the classroom. Draco began scanning the titles of the books. All seemingly random books with various defense against the dark arts spells. Hermione set out explaining the various spells that might benefit them. Before long, they stood facing two mirrors Hermione transfigured out of chairs. There, they practiced wand work for the spell to cause the mirror to light up those who meant them harm. Once Hermione decided she achieved perfection on it, she forced Draco in front of her mirror. He looked plain in the mirror. Hermione gave him a look of interest. She wondered if he really meant her no harm, or if she failed at the spell. 

"Well, I don't think you got it right," Draco dismissed the lack of light around him. Hermione put her hands on her hips defiantly. 

"Oh, is that right, and what harm do you intend to put me through," Hermione teased. Draco cocked an eyebrow at her. 

"All sorts," Draco stated without moving an inch. He turned back to try the wand motion. Hermione frowned.

"You're doing it wrong," she said walking towards him. She stood right next to him and did the motion while he watched, "You're not making a big enough circle." Draco copied her motions exactly without a word. He seemed satisfied and muttered a "that does it" before walking back to the table to sit down. Hermione followed him, but instead of sitting at the chair across from him, she shifted some books and sat on the table right by his side. Draco gave her a disgusted sneer and looked at the book. Hermione sat considering the wall in front of her. Kissing Draco took up most of her thoughts, but a small part still focused on the Department of Mysteries. She thought about asking Draco last night, but when he acted out, it made her forget all about her inquiry. Hermione researched everything possible, only to find practically no information on what exactly goes on in the Department of Mysteries. The people who worked there fell under the strictest rules and spells so to prevent them from speaking about their work. It fascinated Hermione, and she figured if anyone knew some of what went on, Mr. Malfoy was the best bet. Which, if Hermione understood correctly, meant Draco knew something on the subject. After minutes passed by and Draco seemed engrossed in whatever he read, Hermione just burst out with the question:

"What is in the Department of Mysteries," she almost swallowed her tongue. A part of her mind screamed about the danger in letting a Death Eater’s son know she knew about its significance, because her knowing implied Harry and the Order knew as well. None of that knowledge needed to get out if it remained hidden. Draco simply gazed up with a blank face.

"A lot of things. A great many that even my father doesn't know about. Why?" 

"I just came across something that talked about it, but when I looked more into it, there was nothing to be found on it," Hermione lied. 

"Well, there are certainly things in there that people would love to get their hands on. There is magic of all sorts, much of which can't be found outside the Department," Draco said, not really telling Hermione anything. She leaned towards him, eager to obtain any knowledge on it.

"You can't tell me anything else about it?" Hermione frowned. Draco shook his head. Hermione's face fell and she hopped off the desk. Just as she took a step to go around to the other side, an arm reached out and gripped her. She landed backwards into Draco's lap.

"The Department of Mysteries is a mystery for a reason. It should stay that way," Draco whispered in her ear, nibbling on that same ear after he finished talking. Hermione leaned back into his arm, turning slightly to face him. Her hands quickly cupped his face and she kissed him with desperation. 

So the pair found themselves entangled yet another night. Before they parted, Hermione insisted they research and practice wand work some more. Draco saw how worry ate away at the Gryffindor. Her questions on the Department of Mysteries worried him. He knew what lay there in terms of the interest the Dark Lord sported for it, but last he knew, Harry Potter knew nothing of it. Which means, as the past showed, Hermione Granger knew nothing on the subject. Maybe it meant nothing. But that Hermione asked him meant she either wished to know what he knew or was on the path to discovering that same knowledge herself. Regardless, the question foreboded danger.

OoooOoooO

The month to follow passed with no change. Plenty of nights consisted of them fighting, throwing insults at one another. The pair felt safety in the insults. It kept a minor distance between them. Yet, both teenagers came to feel safe knowing that at least one person knew all their faults, yet still kept coming back. As any teenagers, they still felt the occasional wreck of insecurity, especially as they lived in a world on the verge of disaster. At least, they felt assured that they knew where they stood with one another. 

A week after they met and spoke of the Department of Mysteries, Draco spent the day saying wretched things about Hagrid. This meant Hermione’s already strained nerves reached the edge. She paced the common room that night with such fervor and anger everyone went to bed early just to avoid her short temper. Hermione practically stomped her way to the meeting room and then paced the room there. Draco walked in, unaware the only reason Hermione held it together was due to Harry and Ron.

"What is wrong with you? I get not being able to not insult Hagrid at all, but this is just you being an absolute bully. What is your real problem with Hagrid?" Hermione snapped. Draco maneuvered to shut the door behind him, a complex task considering Hermione stood inches from him.

"I don't appreciate half-breeds coming around and trying to teach me. Especially when they didn't even finish their schooling and then try and bring incredibly dangerous animals for students to look at. I want good professors and a good schooling," Draco said running his hand through his hair. He knew an argument about Hagrid only took up time. Hermione’s only real argument consisted of her care for the beast, as even she admitted his lessons were questionable at times. 

"He could be a really good teacher if people just listened. The Hippogriffs were brilliant if you hadn't been so stupid not to listen to directions. It's so unfair the way Umbridge is treating him and you are just egging her on every second. Don't you have a single good bone in your body?" Hermione pushed him backwards in a fit of anger.

"Granger, now listen here. I don't have to be good about anything. Umbridge is looking to fire someone. I've heard what a crackpot Trelawny is and I know Hagrid is ruddy terrible, so I really could care less who gets fired. Umbridge will fire who she was. All the better for us if it's Hagrid." Draco pushed his way past her sit down on a couch he conjured as he walked. 

"Hagrid is a good person. He thinks every living creature has potential, even the dangerous ones. Why can't you at least cut him a break, Malfoy? If Umbridge is going to have someone's head, don't encourage her to make it Hagrid's." Hermione whimpered as her anger subsided to depression.

"I've said it before and I've said it again. I really can’t do that much. Now come here. It's a waste of our time for you to be sad," and Draco opened his arms to her. She collapsed onto his lap, and he encircled his arms around her. Draco still found himself amazed at times that no matter what the world threw her way, she always seemed so strong. Only in the face of her friends’ danger or anger did her powerful exterior begin to crumble. Even then, he wondered if they knew what power they held over the seemingly unbreakable witch.

OooOooO

Some days later, after discussing the possibility of Snape working for Voldemort with Harry and Ron, Hermione sat blankly staring at a book. Draco sat flicking his wand about aimlessly, waiting for Hermione to tell him how to perform the spell she supposedly was reading up on. When he finally realized she lacked any attention to the spell, Draco flicked the book closed with his wand.

"Okay, Mudblood, tell me whatever petty problem is distracting you from doing anything useful," Draco said with the laze of someone bored. Hermione snapped out of her daze to look at him, studying his face.

"Whose side do you think Snape is on?" Hermione found herself asking without much thought- a rare occurrence since she almost always considered the consequences of certain topics with him. Suddenly it appeared as though the thoughts she once only shared with Harry and Ron, more and more often she felt drawn to discuss with Draco. Draco cocked his head.

"I supposed that depends on who you ask. The Dark Lord seems to think Snape is a faithful servant, while Dumbledore seems to think Snape wouldn't hurt a fly."

"I know what they think, I'm asking what you think," Hermione said, leaning back in her chair.

"I honestly have no idea. I don’t think anyone does. The Dark Lord or Dumbledore might know what really motivates him, but I suspect only one of them really knows, the other only thinks they do." Draco said noncommittally, wondering about Hermione’s sudden interest in Snape. But she said nothing more on the subject, and Draco knew better than to ask.


	9. Girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The greatest relationships are the ones you never expected to be in, the ones that swept you off your feet and challenged every view you’ve had.” -Unknown

January passed and the late nights fifth years kept forced the pair to move their meetings to a later time. Valentine's Day loomed and only the night before did the pair breach the subject with one another.

Hermione forgot it entirely, not much caring for the day herself. That night, Hermione worked through a spell while Draco took their unspoken agreement of letting her figure it out first. This agreement allowed Hermione to then teach it to Draco, since she always learned more quickly. Draco put down his book for a moment and looked at her with interest. Hermione tried to ignore his gaze, but it only seemed to intensify the longer he stared at her.

"So how do Mudblood's spend their Valentine's Days?" He finally asked when she finally turned, with hand on hip, to look at him.

"Doing useful things and not bothering with all that stupid romantic crap."

"No date with Weasley planned?"

"No date with Parkinson?" Hermione threw back at him, once again focusing on the spell, thinking he would look better as a houseplant. 

"I do have several young ladies who would be interested in spending the day with me?"

"Well, did you pick one?" 

"Nah. That prevents them all from doing what they can to get me alone tomorrow," Draco winked.

"So, what do you plan to do? Just bounce from girl to girl kissing every single one?"

"Well, bouncing from girl to girl, at least." Draco laughed.

"You're disgusting." Hermione threw spell at him once more. His grin slightly faltered and he took a few steps towards her.

"What? Weasley more your type, Granger?" 

"Why, are you jealous, Malfoy? If you're so desperate to spend Valentine's Day with me, you could just ask." Hermione said with spite. His expression closed off at her words.

"I'd never be seen in public with the likes of you," Draco stopped at two feet away from her and not moving any closer.

"I wasn't saying I'd ever say yes. It’s just very clear why you brought it up." 

"It would be your dream come true, I’m sure. I bet not even Weasley wants you, Mudblood," Draco once again began stepping slowly closer to her. Like a predator, she knew from experience that type of movement led to some of the most passionate make out sessions. Except she currently found the idea of kissing him disgusting him, what with images of him kissing other girls taking turns in her mind. True, Hermione never played with the idea of having a relationship with Draco, but somewhere along the line, she came to expect him to stay monogamous with her. 

"Well, good thing you have all those other girls tomorrow to look forward to, because if I'm so disgusting to you, then obviously I should stop torturing you." Hermione replied with new levels of snark. Once again her words stalled Draco, now only a foot away. He hesitated before he spoke, shocked slightly with the implication that the idea of him with other women bothering his peer. True, he worried about her plans for Valentine’s Day, but that formed from her very lack of discussing it. She talked to him about what seemed like everything that passed her mind. He believed in monogamy when fooling around, unless both parties understood it to not be the case. The Malfoys must keep friends in high places. Since technically Draco was only supposed to date in high places, that meant dating became an intrigue game of feelings.

Draco closed the space in between them.

"I actually prefer horrible. It actually just disgusts me that Weasley might, well, share a taste in something with me. I would expect you to have better tastes than that Weasel anyways," Draco smoldered he whispered in Hermione's ear, kissing down her neck. The night passed as many of their nights passed, with much kissing, touching, and little studying. The pair increasingly lingered with the hands as their minds lingered over one another more and more often.

Hermione struggled sleeping that night, even after returning to her dorm. Hermione felt offended and rejected by the idea of Draco running around with a bunch of other girls. It tore about her being to realize despite all the energies she spent on him, he easily turned to other women still. 

Draco, meanwhile, felt much more confident his situation with Hermione, as besides Weasley, no one specifically showed interest in her. From what passed around word of mouth, most wizards assumed she belonged to Harry or Ron (although which one largely changed by who said it), so no one else bothered. This made Draco laugh at his own peers, for nothing about her relationship with the two boys showed romantic entanglement. At least yet.

OoooOoooO

Valentine's Day morning, Hermione felt certain Draco planned to kiss every girl in sight. However, receiving the letter from Rita Skeeter turned the day around completely. The chance Harry's story finally could be heard elated her. After she requested Harry to meet her, Hermione set to work at once in finding Luna to inform her of the meeting place. 

Hermione's plan changed from Luna meeting her in Hogsmeade to the girl spending the whole day with her. So, Hermione spent the morning wandering around with Luna. Ron joined them, but his tolerance bar for the younger witch fell short of Hermione’s, so he wandered off with Neville, Dean, and Seamus after a time. When alone, Luna carried a conversation decently enough, only interjecting with a few made up creatures. Largely, Luna, as a Ravenclaw, remained brilliant, so Hermione talked of a great many things with her. Hermione enjoyed her morning, forgetting her worries about Draco in the midst of the day. Then the girls walked into the Three Broomsticks only to catch sight of Draco. With some curvy red-head who Hermione failed to recognize. Draco and his mystery girl seemed locked in a gaze that implied what would come next. That Draco soon pulled the red-head out of the Three Broomsticks only appeared to confirm Hermione’s imagination. Sparks flew out of her eyes.

She still fumed over the image when she arrived at the designated meeting spot. Hermione almost skipped out, but she wanted Draco to know she saw and let him know what she thought of the sleazy red-head. Draco walked into the room and Hermione ignored him until he only stood a step behind her. Hermione turned around in her chair and stared him right in the face. She opened her mouth to make an extremely aggressively snarky comment about the red-head, but Draco beat her.

"I see now why you aren't fooling around with Weasley. Why have a weasel when you can have the famous Potter, right?" Draco snarled with anger.

"Wha-" formed in Hermione’s mouth but Draco cut her off.

"It's hard for me to not have heard about it when Cho made a scene when Potter dumped her to spend his Valentine's day with you. So how was it? Potter a good kisser?" Obviously, someone skewed the story, but Hermione currently thought it a brilliant rumor. Hermione allowed her grin to show bright on her face, right alongside the fury she felt towards Draco.

"Well, you had your red-head. You can hardly expect me to sit by and do nothing all Valentine's Day?"

"My... Oh, so is that why you resorted to becoming a Potter groupie? You got jealous of another girl?" Draco was pleased with that idea.

"As if, Harry asked me a couple days ago. Apparently he had a change of heart about Cho. I wasn't about to give up the chance to snog Harry. I’ve wanted to for some time now. I’ve known him longer anyways. Cho can just back off." Hermione's nonchalant attitude immediately dampened Draco's smugness.

"Just had to make sure you had a chance, is that right?" Draco barely managed to spit out the words, his fury building again. He hated losing, especially to Potter. Hermione knew this; she also knew that Draco wouldn’t attack her directly.

"Yeah? I bet your voluminous ginger would kill for a try at Harry," Hermione giggled, actually giggled. She loved Harry, but like a brother, so no matter if he grew into his looks, Hermione’s feelings remained platonic. The idea of anything else with him gave her the giggles.

"Maybe she would, but I guess she'll have to wait until Potter gets bored of you." Draco looked away from the witch.

"Oh, and you think Harry's going to get bored of me?" Hermione asked, losing some of her anger in her fun. She stood up to force him to look at her. He sensed the changed in her mood.

"Or you get bored of him," Draco looked at her, taking in her new attitude. She liked him angry about this. He certainly wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass by. A devious look overcame his face.

"Why would I get bored of Harry? He has adventures every year," Hermione scoffed.

"Then maybe he'll get tired of spending time with a filthy mudblood," Draco took a step in order to invade her personal space. His face confused Hermione.

"Oh, like you have? Is that why you needed the red-head? Because you got tired of spending time with a muggle-born?" 

"More likely I needed to take a breath from my tormenter," Draco whispered. He leaned down and laid his lips softly on hers.

"Oh? So what'd you do? Go have sex with her in one breath before running back to me?" Hermione said not letting him place anything but light kisses on her lips. He chuckled at her question.

"I didn't have sex with her. I didn’t even kiss her," he ran his hand through her hair, "I just wanted to be seen with a young women so that people didn't get suspicious," he kissed her neck lightly, "Although, I dud told several fellow Slytherin that we had sex," then he kissed his way back to her lips, "and if she says differently," more light kisses to Hermione's lips, "no one will believe her with my record." Finally, Draco dug one hand to her head and the other to her lower back, pulling her into a deep passionate kiss. He released her momentarily, "Are you sure you want Potty? Wouldn't it be more fun with me?" More kisses, not waiting for her to reply. The new information enthralled her. She wrapped her arms around him and dug in her nails.

When Draco finally let her up for air, she let out between heavy breaths, "None of that happened." Draco pulled back from her quickly. 

"What?" He asked staring her in the face, utter confusion crossing his face. She just tried to pull him to her again, but he held her firmly away. Hermione frowned.

"Me and Harry. It was a misunderstanding. I was meeting with him for something else. I would never kiss Harry." 

"What." Draco yelped in surprise.

"Yeah. You should stop jumping to conclusions. While I could easily get someone else if I wanted, I am not loose. I don't go around kissing every boy in sight. I also expect the same type of monogamy from the guy I’m kissing," Hermione warned. Draco's face filled with light and happiness. He grabbed hold of her and just as he was about to kiss her, they both stopped. 

Footsteps sounded outside. Early on, they learned to put up a spell allowing them to hear out the door as though nothing separated them from the noises outside. This was the first time in a long time they heard anyone. Draco dropped down and slid behind a desk nearby. He pulled Hermione between his legs wrapping his arms around her waist. Then he cast a spell so if anyone looked at them, their eyes kept moving past the spot they sat as though nothing occupied the space. Footsteps walked into the room briefly, a Lumos spell filling up the room with light. Where they sit, they had no way to see who it was. But the individual only stood there for a couple seconds, then walked out, shutting the door as they went. 

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. Draco held her in place for minutes to assure the person truly left. Then, he pushed her to the side onto the ground. Hermione fell with a thud, twisting to avoid falling on her shoulder. Draco pulled his leg out from under her, stretching out beside her. They embraced as they lay side by side. 

"Trust me," he whispered, and they touched and kissed unlike ever before. Yet space still filled between them, emotionally and physically, and would for some time left. 

When Draco finally lie to the side some time later, the thought crossed her mind that Hermione could not help but trust this young man. While she felt shy and awkward, no worries crossed her mind that he'd go any further then she felt comfortable with. 

Draco pulled her to him on the floor. The witch rested her head on his chest and curved one leg over the top of his. His arm wrapped around her and the other grabbed ahold of the hand resting on his chest. They breathed heavily for several moments as they gathered their wits.

"I’ve decided you’re mine," Draco stated. 

"I'm not a house elf," Hermione muttered without thinking.

"You're a mudblood, so you've got just about as much worth," Draco said back. Hermione saw spots as the anger rushed to her head. She dug her knee into the tender area between Draco's legs as she shifted so she kneeled above him. 

"I am nobody's anything. I especially am not owned by a slimy git like you. I am my own person," Hermione snarled. She grabbed her shirt and threw it over her head as she quickly stormed out of the room without a second glance back.

The sudden disappearance left Draco stunned. She usually just took his insults, at the most giving some feeble insult back. If anything, Draco figured she'd be pleased that he'd called her his. It remained the closest they would ever get to being in a relationship. He wandered back to his dormitory shocked from the turn of events. There she lay out in front of him. It shocked his core. He never pushed her, but he felt they went so slowly. He wanted her in full, but he refused to push her. As much as he wanted to.

Hermione, meanwhile, fumed. The smugness, the confidence, in Draco's voice tickled Hermione as a tad egotistical, as though he thought himself so grand for stooping down to her. While she may spend nights with Draco, the days still existed in turmoil. Hermione trusted him, liked being around him at times, and definitely enjoyed the physical side of their relationship. But all that led to nothing as he still appeared the same egotistical bigot as always. 

OoooOoooO

Hermione returned the next night and neither found the words to express their feelings to the other. Draco missed the cues to how to tell her how much he appreciated her company, how he only meant to please her the night before. Hermione lacked the words to say she hated how he acted sometimes, that really expressed how much she liked how he acted other times. 

Meanwhile, when Harry brought up Cho, Hermione pretended like she knew nothing about the rumor and used it as an excuse to get the full story. None the wiser, Harry told her what really happened. 

Over the course of the next two weeks, the Slytherin and Gryffindor occasionally fell into bickering; a lot of the time, finished the night in an embrace; and every night learned a little more. One night in those two weeks, Draco walked in as Hermione studied an unfamiliar book. He already stood over her shoulder studying the words on the page before she comprehended he occupied the space near her. 

“What is that?” Draco asked, trying to understand the terminology in the text. 

“A muggle Biology textbook. My parents send me textbooks whenever they can so I can still get a muggle education as well.” Hermione explained. 

“What’s bi-a-la-gee? What exactly do you mean a muggle education? What do they have that we don’t?” Draco asked outright. It perhaps consisted of one of the handful of times Draco willingly asked about muggles. Hermione smiled a little, Draco missed it though as he still studied a picture of the human body.

“Well, first of all, Biology is the study of living organism. It’s one of the many subjects that muggles study that the wizarding world doesn’t. Honestly, it’s amazing what all the wizarding world ignores because magic makes it not totally necessary. I think the only time wizards and witches come close to Biology is when they are training for a career like healer, where they need to have some idea of the Anatomy of an organism.”

“What’s an organism?” Draco asked, realizing Hermione thought he already knew the term.

“Oh…. An organism is any living creature. It could be me or you, or it could be a dog, or an owl, or anything lives, really. So Biology is basically, broadly, the study of living creatures and everything about them.”

“So, what other subjects do you study from muggle education that we don’t have at Hogwarts?” Draco asked, finally sitting down next to her. Hermione felt light-headed at his sudden interest, but also the fact he sincerely lacked the knowledge to even consider what muggles go to school for.

“Well, Arithmancy is essentially Mathematics, but there are so many properties of math that Hogwarts doesn’t cover. This includes Statistics, which is the study of collecting and organizing data, and geometry, which is the measurement of shapes. Geography is only studied through the lens of History of Magic, which is a loss, as knowing land is useful to everyone. English studies are some of my favorite, because it basically teaches you how to read-“

“You’re telling me muggles can’t read?” Draco smirked, finally finding a subject he understood (or thought he understood). 

“No, but what the wizarding world seems to ignore is the practice of extensive reading, critical analysis of text, and interpretation. All crucial to a true reader of the world. Some of it comes from reading texts, but it also comes from discussion- which I unfortunately lack. But I read all the critical texts of on the famous novels of the muggle world that I can to make up for the lack of discussion.”

“I don’t see what’s so hard about reading.”

“It’s not just reading. It’s more than reading. It’s understanding the texts on more than just the surface level of the text. It’s past what is directly written and what is implied and the hidden meaning that many texts hold. There are many ways to look at text, but I’m not quite skilled enough to tell you about them all.”

“I guess I think I understand what you mean. I still am not positive it is so hard. But, anyways, are there more subjects?” Draco asked. He felt overwhelmed even with Hermione’s discussion of reading. He never thought that more existed than just reading words on the page. 

“Well, English studies also includes writing- and just like reading it is not as simple as the primary education of writing most wizarding families teach in homeschooling. Writing includes writing different types of books, communicating ideas in many ways, communicating effectively. All skills underrated in the wizarding world. Past that, history of the muggle world also consumes a good amount of my time, as I feel the History of Magic shorts everyone of a full history, since it only gives history about a small group of people in the world. Chemistry is another science, it’s like potions, but focuses on the non-magical properties of things in the world. Studying other languages, I’m working on my French and German, personally, but I hope to include Chinese and Japanese into that as well.”

“This sounds like a lot to study on your own.”

“Well, I’m mostly in a lower grade level than my actual age group in muggle schools. I work on it as I get textbooks and only on my spare time,” Hermione shrugged.

“What spare time?” Draco asked in a daze of information. She didn’t know how to answer that and while she tried to figure it out, Draco spoke up again, “I guess I never thought about the education muggles receive.” 

“Most wizards don’t. But they get on without magic, and they have to learn how to do that just as we have to learn how to get on with magic.” Hermione explained. 

“Do you think,” Draco hesitated, “I might be able to study some of your muggle textbooks with you?” Hermione studied her Slytherin counterpart for a moment.

“Of course, I’ll start bringing one with me,” Hermione said. From then on, each night, the pair spent some time on muggle textbooks. It often caused bickering as Draco struggled understanding the subjects. Even the basic terminology had to be defined and explained. Draco insulted the muggle education often, as well, but Hermione took this as a way for him to relieve his stress. 

Hermione learned just how much about muggles wizards lacked the knowledge about from Draco. It seemed as though they just accepted technology existed to aid muggles in their magic-less world, never considering how that technology came to be or the areas where technology didn’t exist. Regardless, the pair enjoyed their new studies as much as their old ones.


	10. This Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He broke down her walls without her even noticing. And when he rebuilt the walls, he added windows to let the sunshine in.” -Unknown

On Monday, the Quibbler arrived and Hermione felt jubilant for the rest of the day. Her mood only shifted later in the night.

Hermione practically skipped into the room to meet Draco, so excited about the day's events. In the room, an incredibly solemn Draco Malfoy confronted Hermione. The teenage witch hesitated when she saw the gloom over the wizard. She forgot how this new development affected Draco. His father included those named as Death Eaters in the article. 

True, she saw him, Crabbe, and Goyle glare over at Harry during the day, a clear sign they read the article. However, Hermione realized suddenly that she thought of Malfoy during the day as a separate person than the young man she met with at night. True, he still acted mean at night but to such a lesser degree of evil, with so many moments of sweetness mixed in. Hermione grew angry with him for how he acted during the day, but she never really felt like that tormenter could change. Draco, the young man who slipped away from his dormitory every night to spend hours with her, held the potential for goodness- to change into someone better. Now, once again, her delusion dissipated as the opposite side of the brewing war sat in front of her.

"Harry had to tell the truth, the whole truth. His story needed to be shared." She whispered, walking slowly toward him, reaching an arm out to touch him. Draco flinched away, turning to look at her.

"It probably won't do anything. Father still has a good hand in the Ministry of Magic, especially since Fudge is still denying what happened." Draco showed no fear, but an unnatural hardness unveiled to Hermione his real feelings remained hidden.

"It was only a matter of time before people started to accept that Voldemort-" Draco flinched, "is back..." Hermione sat down next to him, not trying to touch him again, just looking into his eyes, willing him to see how sincerely sorry she felt that he was harmed by her actions. Draco stayed silent for some time, staring back into her eyes as though looking into her soul.

"I suppose it was your idea," Draco said in a low voice finally.

"I-" 

"It has to be. Lovegood is too distracted to think of something that practical on her own. Potter is too hot headed to think that strategically. And Weasley doesn't have enough brains to fill a drinking glass." Draco stated drily.

"I had everyone I needed right in front of me. I just connected the dots," Hermione said pathetically. She lost all her pride about her work at the door.

"This may just fast track the war."

"It hopefully certainly will, but it will hopefully give people time to prepare for the inevitable." 

"War means death," Emotion broke through as Draco said this, fury tightly wound around every word.

"Voldemort would kill people even without a war. His existence necessitates war to defend against deaths that he causes." Draco flinched at the Dark Lord's name, but otherwise gave her silence in reply. Hermione reached her hand over to where his lay on the table. This time, he let her lay her hand over his. His hardened expression remained the same though. "One day this war will officially begin, and people are going to die. If I helped to get it started, it's only because people are already getting hurt by Voldemort, and the longer we wait to start this war, the more people will get hurt before we can finish it. Voldemort is gaining followers, as I'm sure you already know. Our side-" Draco pulled away.

"'Our side'? What is this 'our side' you are talking about? There is no 'our side'. We are on different sides of this war. If it were up to me, all the muggles and the muggle-borns would be gone. Wars are hardly ever short, and more than likely, you and me will be standing on opposite sides one day, and I will take pleasure in being the one to kill you," Draco said harshly. Hermione's face went blank as she stared back into those cold blue eyes.

"You couldn't kill me even if you wanted to," Hermione raged as anger filled every spot of her being. Draco quickly stood up and pulled out his wand, pointing it in her face.

"Says who? Do you forget who I am? My father used to tell me stories of mudbloods like you that he watched cry for mercy in the first war. How they always sniveled with cowardice in the end. Filthy things, the lot of you. If you beg now, maybe I won't just end your life now for causing my father's name to be disgraced." Draco's wand shook with emotion, and Hermione felt the heat coming off of it. The Gryffindor in her screamed for a fight, but her mind rattled with those words. Those mean words. Those words belonged elsewhere. Not speeding out of his mouth. Not in their space. She stood up slowly, Draco's wand following her up. 

"Move your wand from my face now." Her face left no area for question.

"Make-" He began, but Hermione made a quick movement toward him. 

Then Hermione kissed him, really kissed him. Kissed him to show him how sorry she was. Kissed him to wipe away his fear. Kissed him to remind him that this space was safe, even when the world outside crumbled. She kissed him, because wanted to erase those words from their space. Draco dropped his wand in surprise. He quickly responded in kind. All the emotion raging through his body channeled into the embrace. The embrace they shared pressed them further than ever before. Draco, as always, stopped short of anything Hermione felt unready for. 

They curled up in a chair, with Hermione on Draco’s lap, when they finally broke their embrace.

"One day-" Draco started. Hermione quickly shushed him.

"Don't dwell on what hasn't happened yet." One day both teenagers had to choose a side, and deep down, they both knew whatever they had would end.

They remained encircled in one another’s arms for some time. When Draco felt Hermione beginning to get heavier with sleep, he shook her back awake and when helped her get up. At the doorway, Hermione stopped him before he opened the door. She made him to look into her eyes. The expression on her face said it all, and his expression went in reply as he leaned down to give her a deep good night kiss. 

Draco knew the witch's looks and expressions, so he knew she believed him better than he acted. 

Hermione knew him just as well; he believed that he would disappoint her. 

The next morning, the young men who shared Draco's dormitory laughed with glee when the young man got up with scratches deep laid in his back and a huge hickey on his neck. He gave a random girl's name from Ravenclaw when they asked for a name, and Draco worked his best spell work to hide the hickey from sight. However, when Hermione walked into the Great Hall the morning, a red mark stood brightly out. Hermione almost laughed out loud at the sight of his neck, since she saw Lavender try to hide the same type of marks with equal imperfection many times before.

OoOoOoOoO

A week or so down the road, Draco with Greg and Vince sat in Umbridge's office enjoying tea with the professor. He started seeing her on his free time to really earn her trust. He complimented and schmoozed appropriately so now Umbridge adored him. Every new rule she created, Draco admired greatly in her presence. Greg and Vince parroted his compliments but otherwise sat silently, allowing Draco lead them all into a good light. 

The nights with Hermione became pronouncedly more fun after they had taken the step in becoming more intimate. They still researched and practiced skills. They also spoke to each other plenty as well. Hermione spoke of the girls she roomed with, laughing with Draco over the triviality that led their lives. Draco gave Hermione all the latest gossip on what went on in the school, because as a Slytherin, he always knew. Then, Hermione occasionally talked to him about Potter and Weasley. In return, Draco told her about growing up with Vince and Greg and about how he tutored them every day to get them through school. Hermione, instead of laughing as he thought possible, shared her tutoring Potter and Weasley. Her kindness always surprised Draco. 

Sitting in the plush seat across the desk from Umbridge, Draco spaced out as he thought of telling Hermione about his visits with Umbridge. She'd laugh, or start on a rant about "that horrid women" as Hermione called her in passing, but either way, he wanted to discover more of her personality. Draco fell so engrossed with his thoughts that he almost missed the change in subject from cats to sacking a teacher. 

"I am just preparing the paperwork and soon this school will be rid of one of its horrible teachers," Umbridge said sipping her tea.

"Have you decided who it’s going to be?" Draco asked casually, his attention no longer anywhere but on the discussion. 

"Well, Hagrid and Sybyll are both terrible professors, and both need to go. However, for now, I would settle on Hagrid. I have suspicions he has been taking part in subversive acts against the Ministry of Magic, so the sooner he is gone the better," Umbridge said taking a bite of muffin. Draco's heart stopped beating for just a second. He kept his face steady, but instead he panicked as he considered how devastated Hermione would be if Hagrid left. It occurred to Draco at the same moment he didn’t know why Hermione had such a soft spot for the brute. He would have to ask one of these days.

"Can I ask, Professor, what those actions were?" Draco said, allowing his face to fill with admiration as though he thought she was the most interesting person in the world. 

"Well, you remember that he was gone at the beginning of the year? Well, there was certainly more to that trip than he ever admitted, and while he never would tell me, I must assume the worst. Especially since he has been labeled a Dumbledore-supporter by the Minister." Draco knew then how to work this to his advantage.

"Professor, if I may, I think you are brilliant for having found out the brute's secrets, but I worry that it might not be more prudent to keep him around... May I go on to explain?" Draco added quickly playing to her need for power. Umbridge showed no signs of suspicion, and nodded for him to continue. "Well, if what you said is true, that means he has a lot less ability to help Dumbledore if he is right here where you can watch him. If you fire him now, that might allow him to freely go about and spread vicious lies about the Minister and the Ministry of Magic." 

"That is very insightful, Mr. Malfoy, and I will certainly need to take that into account." That ended the conversation. Draco felt certain based on Umbridge’s face, Hagrid was safe, at least for now. 

That night, Draco wanted to tell Hermione his great achievement in changing Umbridge's mind, but he decided she might just be upset that he only postponed it. 

OoooOoooO

Umbridge called Draco and his two friends to her office with several other Slytherins to witness her sacking Trelawney. Umbridge loved having a crowd. However, it grew abundantly clear that Umbridge wished for the whole school to witness her power today. A ruckus ensued as Umbridge forcibly packed all Trelawney's things and began loudly leading both Trelawney and her things down to the Great Hall. Draco dutifully cheered Umbridge on. One hallway and a stairway away from the Great Hall, Draco finally caught sight of Hermione. She stood with her arms full of books, gaping at the scene. He stopped near her without her noticing.

"Well, Granger, I hope your precious Dumbledore learns from this that he can't keep pets anymore in the castle, from here on out, Professors have to carry their own. He can't protect them anymore." Hermione turned to look at him, and Draco willed her to understand his meaning. Her face filled with anger, and she opened her mouth to give a retort. Instead of words coming out, Hermione abruptly closed her mouth and shot off in the other direction, dropping the books in her arms. Draco picked up the two of them turning to Greg and Vince.

"I'll just keep these a little bit. It will teach her not to leave books lying around." 

Hermione only appeared again in the background as Dumbledore entered. They exchanged a glance before she disappeared as Dumbledore settled the matter. 

That night, Hermione walked in and immediately began ranting about “that horrid hag”. 

"She's absolutely terrible. How could anyone ever let her be near children? I mean, even if Dumbledore was plotting against Fudge, that woman is a danger to even those who aren't Dumbledore sympathizers! And you! How can you smile at her and egg her on? Isn't she bad enough without a fan club?" Hermione paced back and forth. Draco flipped through the books she dropped earlier- he, of course, brought them here to give them back to her. He already planned to tell Vince and Greg that he dumped them out a window in hopes Hermione never learned their whereabouts. Hermione kept going, and Draco simply let her drone on. In situations like this, Draco learned silence worked best. This fired up, the brunette was prone to storming out if he said the wrong thing. However, Hermione liked when Draco gave her a reason to take her anger out on him, so sometimes silence failed. "Just tell me why, Malfoy, why are you friendly towards her?" Hermione pushed the books away so he looked up. Draco leaned back in his chair. 

"Why do you think? Because unlike you, Mudblood, I am not interested in making friends with the poor and untalented. I make friends with those who can do something for me. Umbridge currently has a large amount of power and if I stay friends with her I'm likely to have even more of an in with the people who are in power." Hermione scoffed in disgust and walked away. 

"Why are you friends with me then?" Hermione glared at him. Draco dutifully scrunched his face in a look of disgust at the term "friends." 

"Who is Merlin's beard ever said I considered you my friend?" Draco laughed at the idea of it. Draco really never considered them friends. They skipped that phrase and went straight to… Well, a relationship with more intimacy. Though he still despised her often enough, especially her parentage. Hermione looked slightly taken back at his reply. 

"Well, what am I to you then?" She stepped towards him so she towered over him in his seat. He simply lazily sat back, arms crossed across his chest.

"A useful resource?" Hermione raised her eyebrows. "A good snog." A look of indignation from her responded to him. 

"A GOOD snog? What is that supposed to mean?" Hermione put her hands on her hips like she barely restrained herself from hitting him.

"It means you're a good snog. You could use a little practice but you're satisfactory," Draco grinned, teasing her to see her reaction. Hermione stared at him, gripping her hips in self-control. She leaned down so she rested eye level, balancing herself on his legs. 

"I'm just satisfactory?" Hermione said carefully. Draco stared into her eyes, thinking that this conversation went on too long. So he nodded. In response, Hermione hands traveled up his legs and began undoing his pants. With his pants around his ankles and him clearly ready for more- "Well, then if that's the case, you'd best find someone who is more than satisfactory to finish you." And before he knew what happened, Hermione picked her books off the desk and began moving toward the door. Draco’s fury remained evident. Girls never rejected him. Humiliated, Draco pulled his pants back around his waist. 

Hermione didn't know what she was expecting but not for Draco to push her up against the table and began viciously kissing her. Draco thought maybe if he pleasured her, she’d change her mind about pleasuring him. However, Hermione never intended to return the favor. In the end, Hermione, in one swift movement, shifted out from between Draco and table, pulled her clothes back into place, and once again picked up her books. Draco finally came out of his shock when she began once again moved toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Draco asked dumbly.

"To allow you some time to find someone better than me. I'd hate to waste your time with just satisfactory,” Hermione made it to the door. He grabbed her, wrapping his arms around her gently, pressing himself tight against her back. His face nuzzled into her neck, giving soft kisses.

"Maybe I love satisfactory, maybe anything better would kill me," Draco murmured in her ear. She turned in his arms so she half faced him. Hermione gave him a soft kiss on the lips. 

"And maybe you need to learn your lesson about being polite to ladies," Hermione whispered back. The words Draco said automatically swarmed out of his mouth.

"Ha! Who's a lady here?" And Hermione disappeared before he knew it. Draco cursed his impulse to take advantage of such an easy insult.

Hermione entered the dormitory smiling. She didn’t really feel offended, Draco just couldn’t get under her skin like that anymore. That said, she finally felt she held the power to stop some of the insults, and she fully intended to use it.

OooooOooooO

The next few days tortured Draco. Hermione purposefully began touching him constantly in their nightly meetings, and he gritted his teeth as he pretended like he didn't care.

Then, one night, Hermione brought her schoolbooks to their meeting and exclaimed the necessity of temporarily refocusing their attention on studying for their OWLs. 

"Are you serious? Not only am I being subject to it during the day, you're going to try subjecting me to it at night? Well, I refuse." Draco once again focused on trying to make the pot in front of him look like him. Hermione walked up behind him, running her hands up his sides.

"You'll find it significantly harder to attract the ladies if you don't pass your exams," Hermione whispered in his ear, pressing her front in his back. He twisted around in her grip.

Draco stared into her eyes as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist so she pressed against him. 

"I don't think that's something I need to worry about. Ever." Draco dipped his face forward to kiss her, but she turned her face. 

"Oh, really, so certain that your looks will carry you by?" Hermione leaned into him as he began nibbling on her neck.

"No, I'm just certain that I attract one little Mudblood, and I’m not looking to attract another." Draco's hands ran down her back. 

"You are too cocky." Hermione growled at him. 

"I am. And it’s part of the reason you like me." Then Draco’s mouth met hers. Hermione fell into him after so long fighting against him.

The room warmed around them. It felt like they’d been starving each other, and it felt like the first time they touched one another again. It intoxicated Hermione; Draco’s insides burned with want. Fire took on them. Time passed doing what they always did and yet Hermione suddenly realized it no longer felt like enough. Hermione tried to think when she started feeling so comfortable around Draco, when she began trusting him. Now, she suddenly wanted to trust him with her everything. Hermione always told herself that she didn’t need to be married to lose her virginity; she felt that to be something only romantics did. Hermione never considered herself a romantic, quite the opposite. So when the feeling overtook her, she felt the need to act on it. 

"Draco," Hermione groaned at him. "Draco... I think I'm ready." He stopped what he was doing suddenly and looked at her. 

"What are you talking about?" Draco asked, very confused. 

"I want to… I trust you, entirely," Hermione muttered in a low voice. Draco's face filled with surprise for a second before he controlled it again. Draco never expected her to jump into it so suddenly. He couldn’t. He never thought he would be willing and able to say no to a willing witch, but something told him now was not the time. Hermione deserved better than an impulsive night on the floor with some guy she wasn’t even really dating. He kissed her softly on the lips. 

"I think it’s time we both head to bed. Clearly, someone is tired." He rose and pulled her skirt back in place for her. Draco handed her clothes back to her. Hermione found herself struggling to understand what just happened.

"Wha-What?" Embarrassed, she quickly began gathering herself together.

"I think the lessons are over for today." He waited until she managed to put all her clothes back in place. Draco cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly. "I will see you tomorrow. Be safe." Then he suddenly left. 

Half an hour later, Hermione lay in her bed thinking over every word said and action taken. She found herself obsessing over where she went wrong. The only conclusion she found left Draco only wanting the chase. That, Hermione refused to believe, because it meant Draco really was not as good as she thought he was.

At that same time, Draco found himself trying to justify stopping her from going further. It surely was his subconscious telling him she was a Mudblood and he shouldn’t fraternize with that filth. However, Draco knew better. He found it harder and harder to see her through his father’s prejudiced lens. Her brilliance, beauty, and benevolence brought a much different view. It wasn’t that she was so unlike anyone he ever met; it was that she was seemed so perfectly imperfect in everything she was. To take that next step seemed like a violation of her trust, even if she wanted it. He never believed in preserving virginity for marriage, but a part of him wanted her first time to mean something, wanted her every time to mean something.

Yet a part of him still insisted, she was a Mudblood. Starting something, continuing something with her left everyone in danger. Hermione caused more conflict in his whole being than anyone he met before.


	11. At Arm's Length

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Forget all the reasons it won’t work and believe the one reason why it will” -Unknown

When Draco received the call to Umbridge's office to help her break up an illegal meeting, Draco felt excited at first. When Umbridge informed him that Edgecombe named Harry Potter as the leader of the group, his heart climbed up his throat. Draco was no idiot. Potter’s involvement automatically assumed Hermione’s. He immediately offered to help catch them, knowing he needed to prevent Hermione getting caught. 

"Now, the three of you are to use whatever force necessary to capture anyone you see. Likely when we enter, they will try to swarm, but with some quick acting, we can catch the culprits!" Umbridge said. 

"Perhaps we should split up and protect different hallways while you take the lead?" Draco suggested with a smile of malice.

"Oh, you are so brilliant, Mr. Malfoy. You boys go off and station yourselves then." And Draco led the way down the hall. He turned sharply and cast a spell to cause the Vince and Greg to wander aimlessly. Since he moved behind them when he cast it, they would likely assume one of the culprits of the illegal meeting cast it. 

Meanwhile, Draco quickly took off in one direction. He saw some students running down the hall. When they saw him, they took out their wands, but he rushed past them without a second glance. Just as he reached an intersection between hallways, Draco saw Hermione's bushy hair disappear from sight and he let out a breath of relief. On the other end of the hall, Umbridge just huffed into sight, and Harry headed his way. Draco ducked behind a giant vase. When Harry passed by him, he cast a binding spell...

Draco felt ashamed of his actions, but he needed to capture at least one person to maintain Umbridge's good graces. Until the Dark Lord decided to come out of hiding, Hogwarts remained under Umbridge’s power. Draco told himself Potter actually turned out to be the best option for a capture. No matter what, Potter would never give away his friends, and it was only a matter of time before Umbridge found an excuse to expel him anyways. 

That night, when Draco finally met with Hermione, she sat utterly fraught with energy. Rumors already flew around school as to what happened earlier in the night. But Hermione knew the truth, Harry made sure to that. The second Draco walked in that door, Hermione flew at him, abandoning her wand to grab his arms tightly in hers and forcing him to stare her in the face.

"Tell me that Harry is just confused. Tell me you did not bloody capture him and feed him to that bloody women. Tell me that you did not help unseat Dumbledore. Tell me you prat!!" Hermione barely kept from screaming at the top of her lungs. Draco squirmed in her arms, just barely managing to cast a muffling spell under her tight grip. 

"Let me go, you dirty Mudblood," Draco begged, no meanness in his voice. She only dug her nails into his arms more.

"You know what this means for the school right? With no Dumbledore, no one is safe," tears streamed down her face.

"Let go of me," Draco said with firmness, ripping away from her hands, "The school is better off without that muggle-loving idiot." Hermione's hands made fists, and before Draco even blinked, one of her fists met his face. As Draco reacted to the first hit, another hand came around and suckered him right in his guts. He keeled over and another hand pounded into his face again. Draco quickly tackled Hermione to the ground before she threw another punch. He gripped her wrists to the side of her head as she kicked him in the crotch. Draco tightened his hands even though he wanted to loosen it and groaned in pain as he tucked her legs under his. She lay underneath him, thrashing as she yelled out insults and attempted to make him release her. 

"Calm down, Mudblood. I didn't do anything. You're the one who left that bloody list in the Room of Requirement!" Draco growled, tightening his hands around her wrists so she let out a yelp of pain. 

"That alone couldn't have brought Dumbledore down, you had to have done something. Admit it! What slimy thing did you bloody do for your own selfish reasons!" Hermione squirmed even more, crying and still muttering names with every thrash.

"I didn't do anything. It said Dumbledore's Army on it so Dumbledore took it as a chance to save Potter. It's not my fault Potter has always been Dumbledore's favorite. If he just let Potter get expelled, then Umbridge wouldn't have the power she does now, and Dumbledore would still be around to keep Hogwarts safe from the old hag." Hermione stilled, though tears still streamed down her cheeks in a heavy flow. 

"What do you mean power?"

"You aren't honestly that stupid, are you? Obviously Umbridge is the new Headmistress." He flung off of her and scooted away from her quickly while she still remained slight calm. Draco massaged his face with heel of his hand, readying himself for another attack. Hermione laid there a moment not saying anything. Tears started slipping down Draco's face which he quickly wiped away while she wasn't looking. That bloody mudblood has a nasty punch. He was a little worried the bones in his face were broken. 

"You ruined Hogwarts. You and that stupid hag have just made the one place we would be safe dangerous.” Hermione sat up, thinking heavily of throwing herself at Draco and destroying any remnants of his facial features off his face. 

"Did you not just hear the part where it was all because they found the list with 'Dumbledore's Army' on it?" Draco now saw the stupidity of mudbloods his father always broadcasted. 

"Voldemort could just walk through the front door, and that old hag would probably offer him tea," Hermione ducked her head in her hands and began crying loudly. Draco quickly pulled himself to her side and tucked her inside his arms. 

"That's not going to happen, I promise," Draco whispered and she tugged him close to her and cried into his shirt.

"H-how ca-can you kn-kn-know th-tha-tha-that," Hermione barely managed to get out between sobs.

"Because I know the Dark Lord isn't looking for a fight right now. He has other plans in the meantime." Draco brushed his hand through her hair. Hermione stilled a moment, the sobs only unconsciously escaping.

"How can you know that?" Hermione broke away from him, looking into his eyes, face bloodshot and wet.

"My father isn't exactly quiet when around the house," Draco admitted, using his sleeve to wipe some of the wet away from her cheeks. She just stared up at him.

"You know what Voldemort's plans are?" Hermione said slowly, letting him continue to primp her.

"No, I don't, so get that look off your face. I just know that coming here to get into a fight over your precious Potter isn't it." Draco let her go, frowning at her sudden interest.

"Draco, if you told us, we could-"

"Don't even start that. You are a Mudblood, I don't want anything to do with you." Draco shifted away from her, thinking back to his conflicting musings. Hermione seemed to grow smaller at that comment. 

"Sorry, right." Draco never heard Hermione apologize before. He blinked several times before opening his mouth again.

"But you shouldn't worry, regardless," Draco said feebly, feeling more awkward then he felt around Hermione in a long time.

"If you don't know the plan, how can you be so sure it doesn't involve taking control of Hogwarts?" Hermione whispered, not looking at him. Draco stalled a moment, a thousand thoughts going through his head, only half related to their conversation.

"Because I know what I heard, and my father wouldn't send me here if he was worried that a war may ensue-" 

"How do you know Umbridge isn't a Death Eater and isn't going to give Voldemort and easy in to Hogwarts?"

"Because I know who all the Death Eaters are." Draco snapped, tired of this line of questioning. It only reminded him that the muggle-born endangered his family. 

"Are you positive?" Hermione whispered. Draco looked at her, and once again her pitiful state of uncertainty overburdened his sympathies. He scooted back towards her. His hand found her chin, and he pulled her face to look at his. 

"I promise, I would never purposefully put you into danger." Draco whispered, only realizing after the words came out how true they were. Tears silently began to fall down Hermione's cheeks again, and he enclosed her in his arms. 

They sat there in silence for some time. Hermione cried until her head felt heavy. Draco allowed her to fall asleep on his lap as he mused over what exactly he wanted to do in this situation.

They remained dangerously close, but the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters still saw him as a child, and thus not a concern for the Dark Lord. Plus, with his father in the Dark Lord's graces, questioning his loyalty remained unlikely. Draco resolved that, as it meant nothing more than some teenage fun, his family stayed safe from implication from his association with the muggle-born. 

OoooOoooO

The next morning, Umbridge informed him of his new role on the Inquisitorial Squad. Practically giddy, he imagined Hermione’s rant about it. So when he went down for breakfast, Draco waited by the doors to the front hall. He told Charlie and Greg that they should showcase their new power, which wasn’t exactly a lie. When he heard Hermione’s voice, Draco moved right away. He schooled his expression, putting on his best scowl to approach the girl. In his head, he thought how happy he felt that at least she appeared more angry than sad. Angry, he handled, but sad, well, Draco found it much harder to separate his own feelings from hers then. 

Hermione saw that his bragging meant to share information with her and knew, even while her friends doubted his words, that he spoke the truth. While part of her wanted Ron to hex the smirk off his face, something forced her to make him stop. Maybe a part of her remembered his promise of not allowing anyone to harm her; maybe she worried about him landing in the hospital during their meeting tonight. Reason told Hermione she stopped Ron for something more than getting in trouble this time. 

Malfoy gave her a strange look as he said, “Wise move.” It made Hermione want to run away from his gaze. Something told her Malfoy saw a bit of what she tried to deny to herself. 

They parted ways, with Malfoy laughing loudly with his condescending voice. Hermione wanted to punch him.

Later that day, Hermione ducked into a classroom to avoid getting hit by one of the Weasley’s fireworks. She nearly crumpled over laughing in the classroom. This day kept getting better and better as she watched all her teachers make Umbridge run around like crazy. She separated from Ron and Harry to go to Arithmancy, but it took her longer than usual to get there with all the fireworks darting through the halls. Suddenly, another body ducked into the classroom. 

“Have you completely lost it, little Mudblood.” Draco drawled out, leaning lazily against the now shut door. Hermione struggled to stop her laughter after seeing Umbridge run after some firework that puffed in and out of the air randomly. Her laughter still allowed through a look of surprise though. Draco never talked to her during the day.

“No-” Hermione giggled some more, “I just can’t get over Umbridge’s face.” Draco smirked.

“She does seem to be having a hard time today.” 

More laughter, “Oh, the Weasley twins really-” then she stopped laughing and grabbed her mouth. Would Malfoy tell Umbridge who had set the fireworks off? Draco just stared at her. “Please don’t tell Umbridge who it was.” She said when he stayed silent.

“I know who it was. Everyone except Umbridge knows. I’ve no reason to tell her who it was. I have the power I want for now. Telling her that won’t put me any higher in her good graces for now,” Draco said simply. He studied Hermione too closely for her comfort. She wasn’t used to Draco talking to her during the day. It made her feel vulnerable. 

“Thanks.” Hermione said, squirming where she stood.

“I suppose you’ll be getting sleep tonight. You seem in a good mood.” Draco said, his eyes setting on hers.

“I- I don’t know yet. I suppose everyone is likely going to be up and about because of all the excitement anyways,” Hermione said, “You’ve been getting less sleep than usual lately, so it might be good for you anyways.” Then Draco walked quickly over to her and gave her a deep passionate kiss. Hermione responded, but in the back of her mind, she still felt injured by having him suddenly walk away when she offered herself to him. Draco seemed to sense that she held back and pulled back to look at her.

“What’s wrong?” Draco demanded.

“I- uh- nothing.”

“Lies. Tell me why you’re not kissing me back.”

“I am kissing you back,” Hermione claimed indignantly. 

“You know what I mean,” Draco growled. Hermione squirmed, trying to move out from between him and the wall. Draco trapped her between his arms.

“Let me go, Malfoy,” she pleaded. 

“Why? You never had a problem with snogging me before?”

“It’s the middle of the day and anyone could walk in!” Hermione exclaimed, hoping to avoid dealing with the feeling of rejection that nagged in her belly. Maybe he still wanted to snog her, but that failed to explain how she went wrong the other night. 

“At night anyone could walk in and it would be a lot worse than it is now.” Hermione tried to push him, and he gripped her wrists to the wall over her head in response. He smirked at the situation he held her in, and went in for another kiss, which Hermione responded half-heartedly to again. Draco stopped again. “What is it really?” Hermione said nothing. “Little mudblood better tell me before I force it out of her.” His threat sounded so vicious, Hermione actually worried for a second.

“Maybe I just don’t get off being told no when I offer someone something huge like my virginity,” Hermione snapped, struggling to get out, avoiding his gaze as much as possible. Draco let her go at the last word, stepping away from her. He followed her in because he worried he wouldn’t be able to see her tonight, and after last night, Draco wanted to at least get a decent snogging in.

“Granger…” Draco lacked the words. He knew he turned her down, but he never really considered how she might take it. His attraction to her was never exactly hidden from her. Plus, last night she still came. He thought surely she understood; she was so intelligent how could she not figure it out.

Now, her hurt feelings filled the room between them as tears build in her eyes. She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her once again.

“Let me go,” she whispered.

“No. I wasn’t- I-,” Draco stuttered, unable to actually voice why he stopped her.

“You don’t have to make up excuses. I think it would be best if we just forgot everything.” Hermione said, waiting for him to let her go. 

“Mudblood, stop and listen for a second,” Draco snapped. Hermione finally looked up at him. “Do you have any idea the position you’ve put me in? I am not supposed to fraternize with blood traitors, much less muggle-borns. I could get seriously hurt if anyone finds out about this. You are filth to everyone I know and to- to even being doing this with you. It’s a bad idea.” Draco knew this fell short of honesty about why he stopped her, but it seemed like the easier thing to say. And, his words still rang true. 

Hermione, needless to say, stared at him shocked with so many questions attempting to burst through her head.

“What about you? Do you still think I’m filth?” Hermione asked, staring deeply into his eyes, trying to see all the answers. 

“Of course I do.” Draco said automatically. Hermione just stared at him in response. “What? I do. You are just a Mudblood! What do you want me to say? That you’re worth anything in my world? Because you aren’t.” 

“Why do you risk it then?” The question which nagged him constantly. He refused to think about it most days. Except when it slipped in as he considered all that he enjoyed about her. 

“Because I enjoy it?” And even as it came out of his mouth, Draco saw how feeble that answer was. He avoided a lot of what he wanted to do to maintain his family’s reputation. 

“Enjoy what exactly?” Hermione asked, and Draco realized once again, she managed to ask him a question he felt unprepared to answer honestly. Her eyes never left his even once. It occurred in the back of Hermione’s mind that she never held eye contact this long with one person. She needed to see every twitch in his expression; she needed to see if his honesty first hand. 

“Everything.” Draco stepped toward her, never breaking eye contact, trying to tell her through his expression how much of everything he meant. It wasn’t just the physical but the companionship he received every night as well. The fact she challenged him intellectually and taught him things he never knew before. He enjoyed just talking to her, because she always had new topics to talk about and something new to bring to the conversation. He even enjoyed arguing with her, because he saw the relief she gained in releasing her stress on him. It was almost like despite her forthright attitude most of the time, she internalized much of what she thought. So when she argued with him, Hermione Granger gained the chance to say everything. He enjoyed her unfailing kindness, even to him, and her strong passion and unfaltering dedication to her beliefs. She was so strong, but that didn’t mean nothing bothered her; she was sensitive in a way which showed just how much she cared. At that moment, even while in the back of his mind existed all his father’s words, he saw in front of him the epitome of how wrong his father had been on everything. 

“Then why’d you stop the other night?” Hermione barely managed to say due to the intensity with which Draco was looking into her eyes. The way his hand caressed her cheek. 

“Because I don’t want to take something from you when you deserve it to be with someone who can be more than a fling.” Draco said.

“I don’t care if we can’t be more.” Hermione simply said. She said it, but in some ways, she already felt like their relationship existed as more than a fling. But Hermione still fell far behind Draco in discovering her attraction to him. She refused to acknowledge all the little things she enjoyed about him. It complicated her life too much to consider.

“It’s still extremely dangerous. The Dark Lord is powerful in Legilimency and who knows when I’ll be around him. If I go around him and he sees that, not only I could be harmed from it, but my family as well.” Draco whispered to her.

“Then maybe it’s time we learn Occlumency.” Hermione looked up at him, praying his personality remained as her Draco, rather than the Malfoy of the day he occasionally turned into. His gentleness felt so good to be around, as rare as it seemed to be sometimes.

“That’s dangerous. I think we both probably know things the other shouldn’t.” Draco said, stepping back slightly, frowning at the suggestion.

“Trust me,” Hermione insisted. She invoked the same words he used before.

He looked at her. 

Then nodded. 

He did, and he would. Because if he wanted to continue, and he did, then he needed to learn how to hide these memories and thoughts from the Dark Lord.

He swept her into his arms for a passionate kiss. This time, she responded in full to him. The moments like this, where Draco showed his heart, made her have hope for him. He wasn’t all bad, and he cared for some people. In moments like this, a part of her wondered if she could save him. 

“I need to go to class,” she muttered, when he finally pulled away. It was half-hearted. She could easily stay there kissing. He looked as torn as she felt, but he quickly gave her a peck and started toward the door. There he stopped her, however, turning her once again to face him.

“Promise me if we do this, you won’t hate me afterwards.”

“I promise. Promise you won’t put any of my friends in danger with anything you learn?” 

“Trust me.” Then the pair exchanged one last kiss, and they parted ways. Much later, Hermione realized something changed. The name for it escaped her, and it happened without effort. But something between them changed. The unspoken trust now acknowledged and broadened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sometimes wonder if I'm playing too into stereotypical roles. For example- Oh here's this guy who knows he's falling for the girl, but the girl is totally clueless. 
> 
> But when I think about whether I can change it, I can't. I like to think of Hermione as a non-romantic. Someone who doesn't believe in soulmates or really care about dating. So in my head, she'd refuse romantic feelings she felt out of place and girlish, like the ones she'd feel for Draco. Yet, all at the same time, we've seen throughout the series that she's sensitive, so I can't drop that. Plus I identify with that characteristics. I'm pragmatic and I know its ridiculous to cry because it doesn't solve anything. Some things just hurt and it feels good to cry. 
> 
> Then Draco must realize his feelings, because everything he's doing is so contrary to what he believes, the only way for him to continue is to feel those feelings and realize they are something else. Plus, he has been raised to act a certain way. It's not that he's actually tough. He is just very persistent in putting up a front. Plus, I feel like his father would have beaten some of that patheticness out of him that we see in the series. 
> 
> Omz. I'm ridiculous. I'm arguing with myself about my own story. XD Seriously someone stop me.


	12. Lessons Learned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you’ll learn things you never knew.” –Disney’s “Pocahontas”

The next day, Hermione found herself once again stressed and snuck out to meet Malfoy at the designated spot. Malfoy quickly engulfed her in kisses when she entered. When he finally let her go, he gave her one of his rare sincere smiles. 

“So… Guess what I found out today?” Malfoy’s grin changed back to one of his more malicious ones.

“What?” Hermione smoothed her clothes back out and began pulling out the books she grabbed on Legilimency and Occlumency. 

“Potty has to take remedial Potions!” Malfoy actually giggled. Hermione stared at him open-mouthed.

“How did you find out about that?” Hermione asked, perhaps a little too quickly. Draco considered her inquisitively, suspicious of her reaction.

“I ran in to get Snape when we finally found Montague today, and Potter was there. Why? I actually can’t imagine why Snape didn’t mention it sooner.” 

“Er... “ Hermione considered what to say next. Then she realized if he used Legilimency on her, he might find out anyways. “Um…. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all… I don’t think we should do this.” Hermione quickly got up to pace about the room. Her mind once again went through the millions of reasons why they should not be involved with each other, much less inside each other’s minds. 

“What are you talking about? What does Potter being in remedial potions matter?” 

“There are just a lot of things I know that aren’t my secrets to keep. I can’t risk betraying that trust.” Hermione paced back and forth, knowing that while Occlumency remained important to know, even more important was the secrets she kept. Like, the fact Harry saw into Voldemort’s head. Draco stood up and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Trust me. It’ll only help to have things you don’t want me to see. Use that as motivation. But trust me when I say, I will not share anything I see in here. Just as I would hope you would do for me. This war is not our war yet. We are just the unfortunate people who got stuck in the middle,” Draco whispered into her hair.

“It is my war though. Voldemort wants to destroy me and everyone I care about. This is my war even if I’m not fighting it yet.” Hermione said into his chest.

“Then all the more reason to learn how to close your mind. When you go up against the Dark Lord or any of the Death Eaters, I want you to be ready.” Hermione inhaled air at the last bit. Her mind still barely grasped the idea Draco Malfoy actually expressed concern for her well-being. When he said words like those, she felt it possible to save him from the bigotry surrounding them. She hesitated only a moment before making up her mind once again.

“Okay,” Hermione agreed. When she really thought about it, she trusted Draco. Plus, keeping her secrets from Draco meant nothing if a Death Eater performed Legilimency on her without her knowing Occlumency.

OooooOooooO

Four days passed before Hermione felt comfortable performing the spell on him. 

Draco wanted to go first, but Hermione insisted they take turns and that she go first. She, after all, usually caught on to spells first. Now, however, Hermione stood nervously across from an impatient Draco, pointing her wand at him. 

“Get on with it already,” Draco said, yawning a bit.

“If you’re tired maybe we should wait.” 

“No. I’m fine. Go.”

“Maybe we should practice a little more. I could perform the spell wrong.” 

“But you won’t. I trust you. Go.” Draco spent the last four nights reasserting those words. He never said one malicious word the whole time. It was beginning to make Hermione uncomfortable. It just all seemed so off. True, she saw night Draco as separate from Malfoy during the day, but it grounded her when he insulted her. The nights wafted dreamlike without the insults and constant arguments.

“Okay…” And she cast the spell. She wasn’t ready for the effect any more than Draco was. She suddenly watched an image in front of her as though the filming of a movie set that she stood right off of. Draco when he was younger, probably 5 or 6, sat listening to his father talk. His father was telling him about the difference between muggle-borns and purebloods.

“Now, Draco, muggle-borns are unnatural. They rob pureblood witches and wizards of what is rightfully theirs. The pureblood families are dying because of the muggle-borns. Because muggles and their children steal whatever they can get their hands on.” 

“How do they steal from us, Father, if they don’t have powers.”

“That’s where muggle-borns come in. They’ve figured out even a way to steal our power. Muggles use their muggle-born children to infiltrate our world. It’s why we have to stay hidden, so they can’t do any more harm to us. But the muggle-born children, they come from long-lines of families who work to steal all that is ours.” 

The scene changed, now Christmas decorations filled the room. It was probably first year, and Draco paced the floor as his father listened to him talk.

“She’s so annoying, Father. She’s just as you always described. Arrogant, unruly, and animalistic. It’s like she never heard of a hairbrush. She keeps getting the top of the classes! I don’t understand.”

“It just means you have to work harder. She’s not earning it honestly.”

“She does study a lot…” 

“It doesn’t matter, Draco. Nothing she could ever do is by her own talents. She is nothing. She is scum.” His father snapped loudly. The younger Draco slinked backwards.

The scene changed again. The summer- had to be- Draco looked about the same age as now. He stood hiding behind a door. Voices came from the other side. 

“Why does he have to stay here? There are plenty of people who don’t have children to worry about,” a woman said.

“Narcissa, it’s a great privilege to house the Dark Lord. It’s a sign that we are in good graces.”

“It’s a sign that we are in great danger, Lucius. At any moment, he could decide to use Draco against us. We are completely at his mercy.” Lucius shushed her, and the voices stopped temporarily.

“You can’t talk like that. He might hear.”

“So now I’m supposed to be afraid in my own house.”

“If we just do as we are supposed to, all will be well when the Dark Lord comes to power.”

“Lucius, our son is in danger.”

“Send him to the other house. Have the house elves watch out for him. I don’t care. Just stop this kind of talk. It almost seems like you don’t want the Dark Lord to win.” The voices suddenly came closer and Draco ducked out of the room through another door. 

Suddenly, before Hermione saw more, she ripped out of his mind when her wand flew from her hand. Malfoy stood in front of her, crouching, his hands holding him up, huffing in exhaustion. He blasted her with an Expelliarmus. 

“He’s been at your house this whole time?” Hermione whispered, scared of the answer. She knew in part… Knew that Voldemort at least visited them… But she never imagined Voldemort hid at Malfoy Manor this whole time. Malfoy glared up at her. A reflexive state from the frustration of knowing on her first knowledge she gained some of the most powerful information he knew that she didn’t. He drew on day Malfoy, if only slightly.

“Well, now you know one of my secrets. Going to go run to your little friends and swarm my house?” Draco sneered at her. Instead of running out of the room as he expected, Hermione walked over to him and sat at the floor next to him. 

“Have you met him?” Hermione said, not touching him. Draco refused to remove the protective sneer off his face. His brow furrowed, not matching his sneer, and Hermione realized she wasn’t sure if the sweat glistening off of him was from nerves or exhaustion. 

“Only once. I was sent to the London home immediately after. Apparently my mother thought he expressed too much interest in me.” Hermione didn’t know what to say, so instead she threw her arms around him. He startled for a moment, but then slowly slipped his arms around her. His body shook in a release of the adrenaline rush he received from fear of the outcome of his actions. He held her tight, tears rolling onto the hair he burrowed his face into. She let him stay there, not knowing whether he cried or just shook from exhaustion. After sometime, the shaking stopped, but he kept hold for a little while longer.

“Now do you trust me?” He whispered in her ear. She nodded silently. They released, and Hermione helped Draco stand up. Hermione studied his face, but the room remained too dark to tell if the liquid on his face came from perspiration or tears. They separated several steps. Draco stopped to think a moment. Then, he conjured several pillows and set them in front of Hermione. She looked at him in question.

“What are these for?” 

“For you to sit on. If it’s anything like me, you might fall, and it’d be better if you don’t end up getting a bunch of bruises tonight. Last thing we need is people asking questions.” Draco settled himself back on the ground across from her. It felt better for him as well, since his body still felt fatigued. “So now, how’d you pick the memories to target?” 

Hermione shrugged, an uncharacteristic move for the girl who almost always held an answer. “I didn’t, not exactly. I just let whatever memories were there come to me. I think in some ways it finds the ones nearest the surface. All I did was focus on trying to find ones about me. I figured that’d be safe, but I don’t think it worked...” Draco frowned. 

“I think it did,” Draco said finally. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Time for that later, for now-” and Draco cast the spell before she inquired more. Draco spiraled into Hermione’s memories. He targeted her muggle ones. So the first one he saw featured a young Hermione, only about 2 or 3. The little Hermione looked at a bookshelf. ‘How typical,’ Draco thought. In the memory, she strained for a book on a shelf above her, clearly out of her reach. After several attempts to jump and climb on the bookshelf, the young Hermione sat down with a huff on the ground. She stared fixatedly at the book. Her eyes widened with glee when the book flew off the shelf by itself and landed with a thud on the ground in front of her. She picked it up and ran off into another room with a scream. Draco watched as she ran to a sitting room, modestly decorated, where three adults sat. 

“Mummy, Daddy, look! The book come to me!” Little Hermione said. Two of the adults exchanged glances of clear exasperation.

“Hermione, honey, you know you aren’t supposed to get books by yourself. It’s dangerous for you to be climbing on furniture,” the women Draco guessed to be her mother said.

“I no climb! It climb to me!” Hermione pouted, not happy that her parents failed to believe her.

“Well, no more anything climbing on anything. Go and read your book. Next time, please come ask us if there’s one you can’t reach. You could get very hurt.” And little Hermione stomped off in indignation. The memory amazed Draco; even so young, Hermione thought she knew everything. She clearly understood she knew something more than her parents. The memory jumped from memory to memory, showing Draco many times when Hermione showed instances of magic. Usually these occurred when she was alone. Although on one particular occasion, her parents witnessed her make a set of makeup from some relative disappear. They handled it well and explained it off as Hermione learning magic tricks. Hermione, around 12 at that point, indignantly (she seemed to do everything indignantly when she was younger) argued against it. It turned out, Hermione excelled at magic even early on. She clearly understood she held some power outside the realm of muggle abilities and pushed it forward in moments when she felt it needed.

After a handful of memories, Draco pulled out. Hermione gasped on the floor, crying. Draco quickly ran over to her and pulled her close to him. 

“Should I have pulled out sooner?” Draco asked her as she sobbed into his chest. She waited to calm down before she answered.

“No. I just couldn’t figure out how to make you leave. It was exhausting. I don’t know how you did it.”

“In all fairness, I disarmed you, which was cheating in some ways. We need to work on building barriers.”

“Clearing the mind and subtly maneuvering the memories,” Hermione recited what she had read. 

“Did you try those?”

“I guess I was still thinking about your memories too much to completely clear my mind. And when I tried to move you to memories, I couldn’t seem to push it up.”

“Maybe next time we should tell one another what memories we are going to be searching for, and then we can try to maneuver the memories to something similar, but clearly not what the other is wanting.” Hermione nodded in agreement, still gripping Draco’s chest. He rubbed her back. 

“So what were you hoping to find with those memories?” Hermione finally asked after sometime.

“I guess I was inspired by the first memories you saw of mine. I wanted to see how you found out you were a witch.” Draco told her softly, still rubbing his hand over her back. 

“Do I seem very different from you?” 

“Well, maybe next time you can try and find out my first signs of magical ability.” 

“I’ll do that.” Hermione agreed. They fell silent again; Hermione soon began dozing off onto his chest. Draco let her, until his arms began to tire, and he insisted they call it a night. 

Upon parting, Hermione turned to Draco and gave him a swift kiss.

“I trust you,” She told him. Then they went their separate ways.

When Draco finally lay down in his bed, he thought about what he saw, both in his memories and hers. He knew why the memories came up in regards to her. The first one showed an example of what his father told him which Hermione proved untrue. The second displayed one of the first times he ever started to show his doubt, but his father quickly destroyed his willingness to think freely about the subject. The third exposed one of the reasons he now felt so uncertain about his place with her. He thought about how he allowed her to watch the first two, not even trying to break it. He wanted to see what she wanted to see. When the third memory appeared, however, he tried so hard to get her to stop seeing it. Draco felt so certain if Hermione knew his family housed Voldemort, she would immediately choose to betray him in favor of ending the war before it started. Now looking back, nothing surprised him about her reaction. She would never purposefully harm him or anyone for that matter. When she realized what she did with the Quibbler, her face showed with guilt and hurt. She took in all the hurt around her. The reason why she never slept, Draco theorized. If she shared the knowledge of where the Dark Lord stayed with anyone, it would endanger many people who would likely try to catch the Dark Lord off-guard. Hermione remained too intelligent to believe just simply catching the Dark Lord off-guard would finish him. Draco wondered if one day she would use this knowledge to her benefit, though, if the cons of breaking his trust would prove insufficient to the pros of sharing the information. 

As for the flipside… Seeing her memories pleased him. He wanted to know more about her. To see even more proof that his father was wrong. Draco didn’t know what he could do with that knowledge, but it didn’t confuse him as much as it once had. Draco saw his father turned out to be wrong about a lot, yet he also continued to see the danger for his family in continuing with a muggle-born. Maybe, if he accomplished Occlumency, his relationship with the muggle-born might be safe. Maybe.

oOoOoOo

The next night started with Draco and Hermione sitting in silence, clearing their minds. This proved easier for Draco than Hermione. Draco already knew how to hide his feelings from his face, even in moments of high stress. Now, applying that same discipline to his mind attested to his own self-discipline. Hermione struggled. She worried about the fact Snape no long taught Harry Occlumency. Harry refused to tell her why, or at least honestly, because mastering it took longer than Harry spent with Snape. 

“I can’t do this!” Hermione cried out in exasperation. She sat alongside Draco on the floor of a classroom. Draco scooted over closer to her.

“You need to stop worrying about everything. Just let your mind go blank.”

“I can’t! If I was able to do that, I would be sleeping right now. There’s too much to worry about. Exams are not that far away-”

“You’ll get Os in everything.”

“Voldemort is out there doing who knows what-”

“Not your problem. You’re safe and sound in Hogwarts.”

“Harry won’t tell me why he has stopped remedial potions-”

“Or whatever it is he was doing there with Snape.”

“And you’re about to go and sneak around in my mind!”

“I am not sneaking. You know it’s going to happen, so you have the upper hand. We aren’t attacking each other. We are practicing putting up barriers in our mind. You need to stop letting your worries consume your rationale.” Draco twisted so he sat in front of her, with legs on the either side of her. He grabbed her hands and looked her in the eye. “You can do this, just like you’ve mastered everything you’ve ever tried.” Hermione stared back at him.

“I don’t know how to clear my mind.”

“Well, maybe that’s not what you should be doing. What I want you to do is try to guide what memories I see. Now, this next time I’m going to be looking for what you do when you aren’t studying-”

“That could bring up anything!” 

“Well, luckily you study almost 24/7 so it’ll be less varied but give you options to decide what you want to show me.”

“I don’t know how to even start changing the memories.”

“Think of all the theory you’ve read so far,” He paused, “Now apply it. Are you ready?” Draco picked up his wand with one hand and kept hold of her other hand in the other.

“Probably not.” Hermione picked up her wand anyways in her empty hand. Draco gave her a peck on the lips, let her take a deep breath, and then cast the spell.

He saw the Golden Trio sitting in Hagrid’s Hut drinking tea and listening to Hagrid speak. He held a piece of meat on his face, and Draco resented his current inability to comment on the barbarian. So many comments that he needed to remember for later. He listened as Hermione figured out Hagrid had been visiting giants, forcing Hagrid to tell the trio about his trip. Draco chuckled as he wanted the sappy brute’s inability to stand up to Hermione’s forceful nature. In the middle of his tale, right as he discussed meeting the first giant, something new began happening. The memory changed, and Draco saw as the trio appeared in a new setting, this time what Draco guessed to be the Gryffindor dormitory, due to the extraordinary amount of reds and golds. She sat knitting something; Draco failed to discern what. It definitely resembled some kind of article of clothing. Potter and Weasley sat playing chess. The memory changed again, Hermione cheered at a Quidditch game alongside other students. Draco pulled out of her head.

“Good job! That was amazing!” Draco said, squeezing her hand. She gave a weak sign.

“You still saw half of the first memory before I could change it.”

“Well, it’s only the second time you’ve tried. We can work on trying to figure out how you can be subtler about it as well. Are you ready to try on me, or do you want to try to rest a little bit longer?”

“I think I can go. I’m going to try to find memories of the times you flew before Hogwarts,” Hermione told him, giving him a second to clear his mind. She cast the spell and found herself watching young Draco flying on a very small broom that hovered close to the ground. That was the only memory she saw before it went blank. There were no more memories. She pulled out.

“That was really good. You’re better at this then I am.” Hermione told him. 

“Well, you can’t be the best at everything, little mudblood,” Draco said with all the sweetness and none of the venom he used to talk to her with. It struck Hermione once again how Draco hadn’t insulted her at all in the last few nights. This one word, used more as a pet-name now, marked the first moment. “Anyways, we will have to be harder on each other once we get the basics. We aren’t trying that hard to find the memories we need, nor are we trying to get to memories that are private. We need to do both.” Hermione nodded in agreement. 

“Do you want me to go again?”

“Are you feeling okay enough to try again?”

“I think so. I’ll try on you one more time, then if you’re feeling up to it, you can try on me one more time.” Hermione picked up her wand. “Do you want to know what I’m going to be looking for?” 

“No, just go.” And so she did. She attempted to search for his first kiss. Something she doubted he’d find too invasive, but maybe something that would alarm him more than what she’d previously looked into. She saw two people, but before she could even identify either one, the memory was gone, and she once again found herself in an empty mind. Hermione pulled out and gave Draco a kiss. 

“Good job.”

“Now it’s your turn. Would you like to know what memories I’m aiming for?” Hermione shook her head, so he waited a moment before taking his turn. He searched for when she first received her Hogwarts letter, instead he found himself watching as a first-year Hermione poked her head into a compartment of the Hogwarts train to ask the youthful Ron and Harry if they’d seen a frog. When she stuck up her nose to the “spell” Ron learned from his brothers, Draco wanted to laugh. He pulled out at the end of the memory. 

“How did you ever become friends with them if that was how you first met them?” Draco laughed heartily at the memory. 

“It took time. Would you like to see?” Hermione asked. Draco stopped laughing at the suggestion. 

“You willingly want me to try to see a certain memory?” Draco’s thumb rubbed over Hermione’s hand.

“I want you to try to see a different memory, and I’ll try to show you that one instead,” Hermione encouraged. She seemed in much better mood now that she managed to show him a complete memory instead of what he wanted, so he decided to go for it. Plus, it please Draco that she willingly invited him invade her mind. It worried him when she showed insecurities in trust the previous night; he liked her best like this- confident and playful. Draco thought about the memories he wanted to find- the one where she met him for the first time- and cast the spell. Some struggle ensued at first, as he pushed at her mind a little more than before. Suddenly, he observed a younger Hermione walking behind a younger Ron and Harry. Ron ran his mouth, and she stormed past them in the other direction. She ran straight to the girl’s bathroom where she sat down and cried. Two girls walked in, tried to get young Hermione to talk to them and left when she refused. Hermione continued crying until she heard loud footsteps coming closer. Hermione peaked around a stall door and saw the troll. She eyed the door and tried to think through a plan when someone suddenly pulled the door shut. She held back a scream even when she heard the door lock. Hermione held in that scream until he finally saw her. Suddenly, two young boys ran through the bathroom door. Barely a battle, neither boy knew enough to actually do anything to the troll. But they still managed it, and Draco watched as Hermione took the fall for the boys. 

When Draco pulled out of her mind, he rolled onto his back laughing so hard. “Wow,” he managed out. 

“It’s kind of amazing looking back that was all it took for us to be friends,” Hermione reminisced.

“I certainly can’t believe you forgave them for what they said because they beat up a troll.”

“It wasn’t just that they beat up a troll; it was that they put themselves in harm’s way for me. I’ve encountered a lot of mean people, and for me, the people I want around me are the ones with enough compassion to endanger themselves for someone they don’t like,” Hermione studied Draco as she said it. Draco, meanwhile, rubbed his thumb along her hand, thinking about how he imagined she’d forgive anyone she thought contained an ounce of good in their body. Just look at him, he held almost none and she sat here talking as though they were friends- a word which still sat wrong for their connection.

“Must be a muggle-born thing. Can’t make any real friends, so you gotta take what you can get,” Draco teased lightly, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the look Hermione gave him. The look of pure belief in him. He wanted to be what she believed him to be, but he suspected he never could be. 

“I guess that’s why I’m sitting here with you.” Hermione stared at him. He leaned in for a kiss. Before she knew it, they lay on the ground, catching up for the lost time since she misunderstood him. Draco still seemed resolute that they keep from going too far, and Hermione respected his decisions as much as it frustrated her. 

OooOooO

The nights consisted of pressing limits. Hermione practiced putting the memories in the front of her mind that she wanted found, as Draco pushed harder and harder into her mind. Draco kept his mind blank, and Hermione tried many number of wars to dig into his mind anyways. The one time she decided to try it while they fooled around irritated Draco greatly (though in his mind he thought it served as really good practice). Insults disappeared, although teasing occurred more frequently. The pair learned more and more about each other as they spent time in each other’s minds. After the 5th time Draco kept her completely out of his mind, she began to get frustrated that he learned so much about her when she learned nothing about him.

“This is so unfair!” Hermione pouted on the floor next to him where they lay. 

“How? You are just as good as I am at beating the mind attack,” Draco curled his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

“Yeah, but you can just blank me out. You get to see all sorts of my memories every time you try to get inside my mind. I get to see none of yours,” Hermione curled one leg over his.

“You shouldn’t pout; it seems odd on you. And if you want to know something, you could just ask, or if it suits you, beg,” Draco grinned evilly. 

“Well, then I want you to start telling me things when you get out of my head. Like how did you and Crabbe and Goyle meet?”

“I grew up with them.”

“That’s not enough detail.” So Draco went into a long story about how his parents introduced them so he gained socialization with those his age. How from the very beginning, Draco exerted himself as the leader, and the two other boys argued. He described the first few play dates, and several times when they fought. Hermione laid there and listened. This too became a customary occurrence during their nightly visits. Draco saw a memory of Hermione’s and he then told her an equivalent one of his. They both grew significantly better in Occlumency, although both remained realistic about how much harder it would be to stop a powerful witch or wizard. 

On Sunday over the Easter holiday break, Draco caught her as she walked back to the Gryffindor dormitory. Alone in the corridor, the witch was suddenly dragged violently into a room. A hand clamped over her mouth as she tried to let out a scream. Her wand already stood posed to jab her attacker in the eye if need be when she gazed upwards. Hermione calmed down at the sight of the blonde hair messed above her.

“Merlin, you’d think you thought you would get attacked any day of the week,” Draco laughed, not letting her go but moving his hand from her mouth so he could cover it with hers. When he pulled away, Hermione still looked upset.

“What are you doing lurking in rooms, dragging girls off against their free will?” Hermione snapped, still waiting for her heart to stop racing- except it raced for a number of reasons.

“Not any girls, just little mudbloods who are wandering around by themselves,” Draco squeezed her tighter.

“Oh, do you know more than one muggle-born?” Hermione teased, enjoying the feeling of his arms around her.

“Hm, I guess not. Guess one is enough to keep me busy,” he began kissing her neck from behind.

“What is this really about? I need to go study.” 

“Nonsense, it’s break, you should take a break,” Draco pulled her further into the room.

“What has gotten into you? Someone could easily walk in on us right now.” Hermione squirmed a little bit to see if he would let her go. That would be a no.

“I guess I’m a little tired of only seeing you at night. It’s break. Most people are either studying for exams or outside. I don’t think we’ll be bothered.” Draco whispered as he ran kisses up her neck and chin.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” But she gave in anyway. Sometime later, she sat in his lap, with his bare front against her back as he ran his fingers along her stomach.

“How did you know I’d come this way?” Hermione asked leaning into him.

“Well, let’s see. I know the Gryffindor dormitory is somewhere this way. I know that you were in the library, and so that means you’d eventually have to come this way.”

“How’d you know I wouldn’t have Ron and Harry with me?”

“The Weasel King has Quidditch practice. I was just guessing on Potter.” 

“Big guess you were making. How long were you here for?”

“Long enough.” 

“Are we still meeting tonight?” 

“We could just stay here for the rest of the evening?”

“Someone might miss me.”

“I might miss having a little mudblood to torture behind closed doors.”

“I’d hardly call this torture. Although listening to you talk does put me through a great deal of pain.” Draco squeezed her, and she giggled at his playful attack. The giggling still remained a new feature on Hermione. Hermione personally internally hated the sound; Draco looked for every reason to encourage the uncharacteristic act. 

“So, it’s agreed, you’re staying.” Draco decided, and Hermione stayed. Despite the daylight differing in the window, their interactions stayed the same as at night. They even practiced Occlumency some. It turned into the longest the two ever remained by each other. At one point during the night, they moved rooms, just to be safe. Otherwise, they stayed together until almost daybreak.

“It’s time to go, little mudblood,” Draco said to Hermione, who dozed off with her head in his lap. 

“I don’t want to,” Hermione insisted. Draco brushed his hands through her hair.

“Your fellow cubs are going to notice you are missing, and if word gets out I was missing all night, then the cat will be out of the bag.”

“I don’t care,” Hermione murmured half asleep. 

“Wow. What a change of heart. You are just one big skank now. Is one Malfoy all it takes then?” Draco poked her cheek. That made Hermione open her eyes and give Draco an affronted glare. 

“You’re an egotistical git.” But she settled back into place.

“Clearly. So you should get back to your dorm before anyone wakes up and find out you’ve been spending your time with me.” Draco persuaded, wiggling his legs to stop her going back to sleep. Hermione groaned and pulled herself up. Draco knew his argument would work, but a new part of him wished they hadn’t. Draco helped Hermione to her feet and walked her most of the way to the Gryffindor dormitory. Right before they parted, Hermione gave him a peck on the cheek.

“This was the best break I could’ve hoped for. Thank you.” And then she was gone.

The next morning, Harry and Ron quizzed her on where she’d been all night. Luckily, they believed her when she said she accidentally fell asleep in her room, and ended up staying until late to make up for the missed studying time. Regardless, when Hermione saw Draco next, she insisted they not risk it again.

OoooOOoooO

Time flew by as the pair came to know each other better and better. They began meeting every night again. Hermione slept in the room with Draco if she tired, and Draco slept during the day, studying for his exams at night while Hermione slept. The only times they skipped their meetings were the rare occasions when too many individuals in the dormitory halted them leaving. After the first time this happened and Hermione worried someone caught Draco on his walk over, they agreed to send a note over through the diary to confirm they were okay but couldn’t make it out. Suddenly, before they knew it, May reached an end, and the pair felt extremely satisfied in their Occlumency skills and about each other. 

Then Hagrid showed Hermione and Harry his secret. That night, Hermione couldn’t have slept if she wanted to. She arrived in the room early and curled up in the corner trying to think of what to do. When Draco arrived, Hermione did her best to hide her worries. She didn’t want him asking questions. 

“So, apparently you were wrong about Ron the entire time. He really is good when he doesn’t have every single person in existence putting him down,” Hermione teased. Draco walked over to her and sat down next to her.

“No, I’m pretty sure he’s still terrible. He just got lucky this time,” Draco grazed her cheek with his hand, pulling her forward for a kiss. When he pulled back he frowned, but instead of saying anything, he fixed his expression and went back to kissing her again. He started pushing back her robes, brushing her skin with his fingertips. 

The blonde wizard pulled back abruptly, yanking her robes away from her skin. 

“What the bloody hell happened to you?” Draco demanded with fierceness she hadn’t seen in a while. Hermione pulled out of reach and shoved her robes back in place.

“Nothing that concerns you.”

“It looks like you were dragged through the forbidden forest, it does concern me. What happened? Who did this to you?” He stepped towards her even as she tried to walk away.

“No one did this to me. Just drop it.” 

“Now that I think about it, I don’t remember you at the Quidditch match. Where were you?” Draco cornered her, and she crossed her arms over her chest in anger.

“Leave it be. I’m telling you it doesn’t matter to you.” 

“Bloody hell it doesn’t- Legilimency!” And Draco attacked Hermione’s mind like never before. Hermione attempted to recover, put other memories in front of the one from today, but he pushed harder. The memory played out. Her and Harry racing after Hagrid into the forest. Hagrid stopping short of the clearing to tell them about Grawp. Hagrid asking them for help. Hermione kept pushing back at the memory, but it was nearly over by the time she managed to put another one forward. When Draco pulled out, Hermione opened her eyes to find herself on the ground. She quickly stood up and almost fainted from exhaustion. Draco caught her before she fell. Hermione quickly began pounding away at his chest.

“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???” She screamed, tears running down her face. “IF YOU EVER, EVER INVADE MY MIND WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AGAIN, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN!” Draco clamped his hand over her mouth.

“Shut up! Someone is going to hear you!” Draco dragged her out of the room, down the hall, looking this way and that, before ducking into another classroom up one level. He thought he heard footsteps at one point, but when he felt certain no one knew where they were, he finally let Hermione’s mouth go. She had gone limp in his arms. As soon as he let her go though, she began hitting him with all the strength she could muster again- which was a lot. So, of course, he grabbed her again to stop her. Even so, Draco felt the bruises form.

“If you ever, ever do that again, I am serious. I will make sure you pay. You-” Hermione hissed at him.

“Shut up. You aren’t seriously going to help that brute. Giants kill people. If you go try to talk to that thing in the woods, you will be lucky if you just get horribly injured,” He shook her a little as though he thought to shake some sense into her. 

“We promised!”

“It doesn’t matter. I forbid you to go near that thing again,” Draco’s hands gripped her firmly, forcing her to stare back at him. Hermione’s face turned to stone at those last few words.

“What don’t you understand,” Hermione said in a low voice, “You have no say in my life and you never will. I will do what I want.” Hermione jerked out of his hands and walked across the room. Wiping away the tears staining her face, she paced across the floor considering her options. Every couple steps she jerked her head towards him, making him flinch as he stayed prepared for another attack.

“I- I don’t mean that.” Draco stuttered, everything in his being told him to run. He heard his words play back to him; he heard all the ways it dug underneath Hermione’s skin.

“Then what do you mean? Because by you ordering me around, it sure sounds like you mean to own me.” 

“I- I just think that it's stupid. You know better.” Draco didn’t know what else to say. She stayed unspeaking, just kept pacing. Then suddenly, she turned her wand on him, and he watched as the scene unfolded when he met Voldemort. He watched as he attempted to keep the Malfoy mask but even then he saw how his hand shook. Then the scene changed. He watched as his father celebrated with the other Death Eaters after Voldemort’s return. He celebrated with them, Crabbe and Goyle alongside of him. All of them enjoying the adult treatment they received on the occasion. Then, his father over Christmas, talking to someone over the floo, about the Department of Mysteries, about how much Voldemort wanted it. Draco never heard what it was, but the desperation played in his father’s voice, assuring his son knew the importance. Hermione finally pulled out and stared at him. Stared at him hard. Then she turned and walked out of the room. Draco collapsed onto his hands and knees and cursed himself. 

That night, he spent wondering how he could manage to mess up so horribly. How when Hermione really attacked him, he failed to block her. How if he ever saw the Dark Lord again, how easy finding out about Hermione would be for the Dark Lord. Malfoy cried himself to sleep at how much he messed everything up.

Hermione fell asleep with no tears on her skin. Inside she felt empty. Empty because she knew inside Malfoy endured on the path of condemnation to the side of evil. Empty because she felt violated. Empty because Malfoy really hurt her, something he never did before. Empty because the person she wanted to cry to at this moment was Malfoy, and she knew how dangerous their interactions remained. Neither were even good enough at Occlumency to block the other’s attack. Every night they saw one another, they endangered more of their loved ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo. This was a long one. I am happy I didn't split it up, because I feel it has a nice flow to it. I just didn't expect it. 
> 
> So I don't know if I mentioned this but I wrote this awhile ago. I'm now just going slowly through and editing it (This fic is my baby, the one that I've been thinking of for some time). But rereading it is exciting to me, because while I know eventually where it goes, it's still like reading it anew every time. I haven't reread the next chapter yet, but I want to now because I don't remember how Hermione and Draco jump this latest hurtle XD 
> 
> It is so not healthy to be this excited about something I wrote. Also, it is so not healthy that I can't remember what I wrote. 
> 
> I hope I can only put this much time and dedication into part 2! (Oh and spoiler, there will be a part 2!)


	13. You Needed Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t want you to save me. I want you to stand by my side while I save myself.” –My favorite person

The next few nights, Hermione refused to meet him. Draco, in response, began antagonizing everyone he ran into. He lacked the knowledge on how to fix the situation. Finally, he began writing in the diary, for lack of anything else. He wrote what he lacked the ability to say. Whether or not Hermione saw the words, he didn’t know. When a week passed and she still refused to speak with him, he decided he needed to try something else. So, he decided to try to get a rise out of her during the day, so she felt the need to meet him at night to yell at him. So he tried everything, poking at all of her concerns about the O.W.L.S. He even made up stuff like that it was who you knew rather than what you knew. Because Hermione had grown used to him telling the truth to her, even during the day, he watched as she nervously strained her hands over that tad bit of information. She still avoided him. 

Finally, the night before their first O.W.L.S, Draco sat in the assigned room, studying away for the Charms examination when the door opened. He startled up and saw Hermione standing in the doorway. He stopped the spell he was practicing and moved to go embrace her. She took a step back.

“You violated my trust.” Hermione said softly. 

“I know.” Draco said back.

“You should have left it alone. I would have told you if I wanted you to know,” Hermione stared at him emotionless.

“I thought someone hurt you,” Draco said, staring fearful back at her, scared she would to storm out again.

“It doesn’t matter. I can take care of myself. You don’t own me-”

“I know that! You don’t think I know that by now? If I did you wouldn’t have disappeared for a week and refused to talk to me! Do you have any idea how excruciating the last week has been- not being able to even talk to you about this? Look, I didn’t mean to violate your trust. Nor did I ever intend to hurt you. I panicked! You almost always tell me everything. So excuse me if I think it is peculiar that you suddenly refuse to tell me something.” Draco flinched as the last sentence left his mouth. It came out harsher than he intended. Hermione stared at him, now her eyes widened almost imperceptibly in surprise.

“So you hurt me to find out if someone else hurt me? That makes sense,” She said evenly.

“I didn’t say what I did was smart. I said I panicked. I did the only thing I could think of. I was impulsive about it,” Draco took a slow step toward her. She stayed put this time. So he took another.

“You see what you did was wrong?” Hermione asked, surprised that he admitted to the wrong-doing in the first place. She prepared herself over the last few days for a disappointment. Her mind refused to let it go, though. She needed to try. The same part of her that refused to believe his fate remained tied to Voldemort’s scratched away at her hurt feelings and resolve to never see him again. Another part of her dug up from underneath, as well, although she steadily refused to entertain that idea. 

“Yes. How couldn’t I? I thought you were going to just stop seeing me entirely.” Draco stood in front of her now. Their eyes dug into each other.

“Neither of us are good enough at Occlumency to really make a difference, you know that right?” Hermione muttered, disheartened. Part of her hoped that he might refuse to understand what he did wrong. Then she easily might part ways with him. No more would she worry about the utter stupidity of her actions throughout the last year. 

“We will get there.”

“What if you go back and he sees us?” Hermione refused to say the name. She liked pretending Draco existed on the same side of the war as her.

“I won’t let that happen. I will find some way to get better so that doesn’t happen. Besides, I’m likely to be at a different house than him.” Draco reached a hand up to caress her face. Tears threatened to burst from her heart. Even as Draco spoke, Hermione knew that their interactions threatened to take his life if he shared a room with Voldemort. Draco allowed silence to fall as his thumb traced her jawline. Words bubbled in her throat. Words of ending everything between them. Words of begging for another solution. She swallowed them all. They landed in her stomach with a plop. With free breath, Hermione gazed at the Slytherin who fate determined as her enemy for four years and only she might prevent fate from working to put the players back into their places. Then, slowly with the quickened heart beat in her chest as the sun and her warmed blood in her veins as the water, new words grew from the old ones. The new words climbed through her throat and slipped out of her lips. 

“I have an idea…” Hermione leaned her face into his hand.

“What?” Draco stared into her eyes, taking in the warmth. Those eyes amazed him. 

“Snape knows Occlumency. He could help you. I bet he would.” Hermione breathed the words, every new blossom assuring her that she found the answer to their dilemma. 

“How do you know he won’t betray me?”

“I don’t. But it’s a leap of faith. Sometimes that’s just what someone needs to show they are better than they seem.” Hermione leaned in for a kiss, closing her eyes so she missed the expression on Draco’s face. The expression which betrayed how he felt she referred to him; he knew he still could never be the kind of good she wanted. His veins spoke of fate and family obligations. He kissed her back, swallowing the words which threatened his throat. Words of disappointment to come. 

That night, Hermione forgave Draco. Down the road, when Hermione looked back, she would realize she never felt a necessity to forgive him. No, Hermione wanted to forgive him. That night, as their O.W.L.S loomed, she chose to meet him because she needed answers. She needed comfort. She needed to say everything on her mind. So, that’s what she did. They talked. More than that, they kissed, touched, and enjoyed the comfort of being in each other’s arms again. 

That week kept a similar pace at night, when they managed to leave their dorms to meet. The first time the mood shifted was Friday, when Hermione stormed into their meeting place in a huff. Draco defensively put up his hands.

“I am not going to hit you.” Hermione snapped, sitting down next to him on the floor.

“Did your Ancient Runes not go well? I thought you looked like you were doing really well?” Draco was in Ancient Runes as well, so he took the exam at the same time. 

“My exam went fine. Well except-”

“Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong first, and then we can go through the exam,” Draco, unlike Harry and Ron, appreciated when Hermione talked through the exam with him. He found her ability to recall every question calming to his own nerves. She reassured his own answers and softened the blow when he missed an answer. How could he feel bad about missing an answer when he knew he also received full marks on so many others? However, once she started on the exam, nothing distracted her from finishing. 

“Umbridge is what’s wrong. Hagrid being blamed for those nifflers. Harry and Ron act completely unconcerned about Hagrid leaving!” Hermione raged, flailing her arms in exasperation. 

“Well, that’s probably because their skulls are too thick to realize that means you three will all be murdered by a giant that he insisted you take care of.” Draco still felt really angry about Hagrid’s brother, although he tried his hardest not to bring it up.

“That’s not my concern.” Hermione told him darkly. “My concern is Hagrid leaving. Especially for some reason that isn’t even his fault!” 

“It should be someone’s concern,” Draco looked at the girl. She glared heavily at him. He couldn’t believe she was getting mad at him. How was she not more concerned about the fact there was a murderous giant in the woods? “If Potter and Weasley were really your friends, they would be concerned for your safety. Especially since Potter is the one who agreed to it.”

“What don’t you understand about that not being my issue?” Hermione said in a tone that insisted he drop it. 

“Well, then fine, Potter and Weasley are still selfish gits. They act like they are all high and mighty, but in the end, they don’t care about anyone but themselves. In the middle of your exams, something you actually understand to be important, unlike them, you are still worrying about the stupid oaf. Meanwhile, they are too busy- oh wait, I don’t believe they are busy doing anything, since it is clear from their success in classes that they don’t study. So that means they are too far up their own arses to take time to care about anyone else.” Hermione’s irritation towards him really infuriated Draco. He utterly agreed with her, just maybe not in the way she wanted him to. Hermione’s face read fury still, and the witch stood slowly up, apparently even angrier then before.

“Who are you to judge them? Like you are so much better!” Hermione looked ready to storm off, but instead she hovered, so angry, frustrated, and stressed that she worried if she moved at all she’d explode. 

“What is your issue? I’m agreeing with what you were saying yourself. I’m just saying what you refuse to acknowledge, that you are friends with people lower than dirt. That they don’t deserve to be living, much less spend time with you. They are worthless scum.” Draco knew as the words came out, he made a horrible decision. 

“Oh, well, it’s a good thing I’m a Mudblood who is lower than dirt myself.”

“I didn’t-“

“You don’t have to! Oh, you think you’re so much better than Harry and Ron. Harry and Ron care for people; they are just naïve. They still believe things can still turn out alright. You don’t have an ounce of care in your body. You couldn’t care for another living being if you spent your whole life with them. You instead judge other people to make it less apparent of the things you lack yourself!” Hermione glowered at him steadily in the face. Draco, now, scowled back at her.

“Oh yeah, you wouldn’t understand caring if you saw it. You think those two care for you? No! They are just using you to get better grades. You’re a convenient person. They hated you from the very first moment they met you. They just realized that teachers like you, so they took advantage of your reputations. Then they took advantage of you helping them in classes. And time and time again they take advantage of you, and you don’t even notice.”

“Don’t take it out on me if you don’t have anyone in your life that cares for you. At least my friends can wave a wand properly. I can’t believe Crabbe and Goyle haven’t flunked out yet!” 

“My friends don’t take remedial potions.” 

“As if that was really what he was doing. You wouldn’t understand half of what we do. You couldn’t even keep up with the things we’ve managed. Every single year, Harry, Ron, and I have managed feats unimaginable to someone like you. While you’re hiding behind your ivory tower, we are dealing with real danger. Danger that doesn’t even press into your worst nightmares!”

“Yeah. I’m sure you are,” Draco said sarcastically, “More likely you all just make it all up. You three go do dangerous stunts, and then Dumbledore and all the teachers laugh like its one big joke. And then you get to spread around that you did something great, instead of the reality of it, where you probably got stunned earlier on and Dumbledore fixed it all for you.” 

Hermione just laughed darkly at that and turned around with a huff to sit with her back facing him. She opened a book and began reading it. Draco stared opened mouth at her. Unbelievable. She stayed in the room and quiet. Impossible. He never saw this type of reaction from her before.

“What have I finally quieted the witch who has all the answers?” Draco needed some inclination what this meant.

“No, I just realized I don’t have to justify anything to you, and I was wasting time that could be spent studying for my exams on you.” Hermione then refused to say anything more, and Draco let the matter go. But her silence distracted him for the rest of the night. Hermione left without even goodbye, just stormed out when she completed her studies. The next night, she came, performed the same ritual of silence. He attempted again to convince her to talk.

“You know, I never thought I’d actually win this sort of award. I actually don’t have to hear you talk all night long. And just in time for exams too.”

No answer.

“No wonder Potter and Weasley piss you off all the time, this is heaven.”

No answer.

“They must have planned this. Pissing you off so they can study without you annoying them the whole time.”

Still no answer. It infuriated Draco. But he let it go. Each night, they sat in silence and study. They did this until Wednesday. While all the other students taking the Astronomy exam watched the battle ensuing below, Draco watched Hermione’s face. Sure, he also looked down, but after every major move, he looked to see how she handled it. He wanted nothing more than to hear all her thoughts on the matter. 

When he watched as she exited alongside Potter and Weasley, he became furious at how easily it seems she forgot their transgressions. At least the last couple days, Draco managed to take joy in the fact she gave Potter and Weasley the silent treatment as well. Then she failed show up to their meeting place, Draco pulled out the journal and waited for some explanation.

Hermione was preoccupied. Too distraught over the battle to be mad at her best friends. Hermione wished she could talk with Malfoy about this new development, even if only to yell at him for whatever wretched thing he said about it. However, the room stayed active with no way to exit without anyone seeing. A little past midnight, Hermione determined it impossible to leave, and she excused herself to go study in her bed for the History of Magic exam tomorrow. Harry and Ron never even blink an eyelash. She readied herself for bed to avoid suspicion of the other girls and finally climbed into bed a little before one, diary in hand. Hermione figured by now Malfoy went to sleep, but she still figured he would be upset if she didn’t leave a note.

“Sorry, I’m writing you so late. I know I should’ve written you sooner, but with everything that went on tonight, everyone was in high energies in the dormitory. It was hard to get away,” she wrote. She put down her quill on her end table and moved to close the diary, when it flung to the back.

“Well, little mudblood has her potty and weasel back as friends, can’t expect her to leave them after reuniting,” read the words in front of her. Hermione startled at the words.

“You’re a prat. They have nothing to do with me not being there. Maybe I’m just tired of your attitude.”

“My attitude???? I’m not the one who has reverted to the silent treatment because they have no good arguments to contribute to the quarrel.”

“I don’t need to justify myself to you. I have no reason to explain my friendships with someone who believes every friendship must somehow benefit him.”

“Aw, is that all you got, little mudblood? At least you can beat Potty and Weasel in a fight?” 

“This is why I forgive them and not you. Because you are a bloody git.” 

“You didn’t forgive them. No, you just flipped a switch when it was convenient, when you knew they were never going to try to make things better with you.”

“No, I realized I had no reason to be mad at them in the first place. Hagrid would’ve been sacked regardless. I couldn’t have stopped that, and neither could they.”

“How long does it take you to realize you’re being irrational to me too?” 

“I’m not being irrational. You’ve insulted my friends.”

“You were insulting your friends.”

“No, I was explaining why I was upset with them.”

“You were right to be though. You were completely right about what was going to happen, and they blew you off.” Hermione’s fury dissipated as she read those words. Those same words ran through her head even now. A warm feeling spread inside as she studied their argument the previous night. Draco said things he definitely shouldn’t have, but really the only reason it hurt her to hear him say it was because they were real worries she had. Rereading Draco’s words, she realized how rarely someone told her she was right. Even though she was right about quite a lot. The warm settled as she decided maybe she needed to work on her temper just as much as Draco did.

“Did you just say I was right about something? That’s almost a compliment.”

“Don’t get used to it. You’re only right in comparison to those two. How can you not shove it in their face that you were right?”

“Because I don’t care to take credit for this type of premonition.”

“It’s not a matter of taking credit for knowing it would happen. It’s a matter of making them realize they need to trust what you say.”

“You almost sound logical.”

“Maybe if you weren’t giving me the silent treatment all week you might have realized how logical I can be before this.”

“You were literally insulting me or my friends every time you opened your mouth.”

“I hold it in so often. When I start I just need to get it all out at once.” 

“You’re so funny.”

“I know.”

“So did you actually get the Astronomy final done?” Hermione asked, changing the subject, signifying to him, that she forgave him, although she refused to say it in those exact words. Several hours passed, their distance from one another not stopping them from spending a better part of the night communicating. Hermione wrote goodbye, finally, but Draco surprised her.

“Don’t go looking after that giant, little mudblood. Please?” 

“We made a promise.”

“I know, but that half-giant doesn’t understand that some people are more fragile than him. The giant will take care of himself. It’s okay to occasionally think about yourself.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay.”

“See you tomorrow?”

“One other thing…”

“Yes…?”

“Never mind. Just be safe. Don’t go chasing after any trouble that comes your way.”

“I’ll try not to.” Hermione put the diary away and went to sleep, happy she mended things with all of her friends and Malfoy. Except, maybe the time came to acknowledge she and Malfoy were friends? Or something, something definitely not the enemy he once was. 

Draco sat staring at the diary for some time after Hermione went to sleep. He worried after the girl. He knew with Hagrid gone and the Golden Trio back together again, only time pushed back the inevitability of Hermione going to see the giant. He learned about her tendency for trouble from her memories. For a brief moment, Draco thought, ‘I should tell her I care about what happens to her,’ but then he decided the implication already sat within his words. Draco refused to question it anymore, why he felt an attraction to the muggle-born. He just did, strongly, and he didn’t want to fight it. 

OooOooO

The next day, Draco went from a great mood of watching Harry Potter have a nightmare in the middle of the exam to having one of the worst days in his life. When Umbridge called all her squad to help round up “the riffraff of the school once and for all,” it failed to register that she meant Harry Potter and friends. 

When he ran into the office with Umbridge and Millicent, Draco stopped dead in his tracks. All he managed was to stare at the witch who looked back in shock at him. Umbridge quickly rushed to the body crouched before the fireplace, as Millicent pinned Hermione against the wall. Draco just stared. Hermione didn’t even try to get away. She easily could have. Draco barely heard Umbridge when she demanded he take Harry Potter’s wand. No good. This whole situation made him uneasy. Hermione expelled with her friends. Her whole life ruined. He couldn’t stop it either. He couldn’t do anything. Think. Think. 

First, Malfoy needed to act his part, because it put him in a situation where he might help. 

Malfoy leaned against the windowsill, trying to not show how badly he shook. He took a deep breath and put on his best smirk. When his fellow Slytherins came in bearing more of Potter’s gang of loyal followers, Draco’s heart sunk lower. The more individuals involved, the more dangerous it became for him to do anything to help Hermione. ‘Why does that witch have to bloody find trouble all the time,’ Draco thought violently. He looked at Hermione and found her staring back. He hoped she read the expression on his face, how angry he felt at her for getting into this situation. The part he began to play felt over the top by all means. But he kept his eyes flickering between Umbridge and his little mudblood. With every laugh, he hoped to communicate something to her. 

‘I would love to see Hogwarts without any Weasleys, but I know I have to save their skin too if I want to save yours,’ With the laugh, he exchanged glances with Hermione. She glared at him for playing his part. 

Another laugh, ‘I can’t believe you sent Weasley with such a weak lie. You are smarter than that. What were you thinking?’ Hermione glared at him. She knew it was stupid, and she knew he laughed because of the stupidity such a plan. 

More laughter, timed perfectly with the rest of the Squad. ‘Who did you think would save you when this went south, as it was doomed to? Everyone who treated you like the Golden Trio is gone. What were you thinking?’ Hermione’s face went a little whiter. She finally realized that she needed to start thinking faster about how to get them out of this. Malfoy didn’t miss the change in her expression, though, when Snape’s name was mentioned. He remembered her question awhile back, about whose side Snape was on. He really hoped Dumbledore was right to trust him. He knew from her expression what he needed to do. Malfoy sprinted as soon as the door closed behind him. He didn’t trust Umbridge alone for any second longer than necessary. He didn’t bother knocking on Snape’s office door but rather threw open the door and skidded inside. Snape looked up surprised at him.

“Umbridge. Potter. Granger. Others.” Malfoy attempted to catch his breath. “They’re all in trouble. Potter was talking to someone in her fire. She wants you. She wants to expel them all after she finds out who he was talking to. I think that she’ll do whatever it takes to find out who he was talking about.” Snape stared confused at him. Draco stared desperately back at his favorite Professor.

“Draco, since when do you care about Potter?” Snape slowly stood up but made no movement towards the door. Draco’s face drained. He realized his mistake too late. If Snape really supported Dumbledore, Snape would’ve helped regardless of what Draco said. If he supported the Dark Lord, then Draco just broke his face to the enemy.

“I- I don’t. I just thought you’d want to know the situation before you walked in there,” Draco’s face put over his practiced smirk, trying to look pleased to know the Golden Trio was caught. Draco turned to walk out, not wanting to be under Snape’s scrutinizing stare any longer. He knew he already gave himself away. Snape spoke up before Draco could walk out.

“So then Granger, is it?” Snape said calmly. Draco refused to turn away; he knew his face showed too much right now. He let out a weak laugh.

“As if. That muggle-born? She’s an annoying know-it-all,” Draco said, standing put.

“Draco, I am not an idiot. If you think I wouldn’t notice your interest in Miss Granger, you are sadly mistaken.” Draco slowly turned back around, his face gone white. ‘How… when… why didn’t you say anything before...’ Draco thought all this and more as he looked at his professor of five years. “You know how dangerous that is?” Draco nodded, unsure what to say. “You know if you are found out by the Dark Lord, not only will you be hurt, your parents will be hurt. She will be hurt.” Snape stared steadily at him. Draco just nodded. He didn’t know what Snape wanted. He didn’t even know if he trusted Snape. 

“She told me I should ask you for Occlumency lessons,” Draco barely managed to say. 

“It would be best if you just ended it.” Snape then began to walk towards the door as though that ended the conversation.

“I can’t do that,” Draco said forcefully with hopelessness backing his words. Already too late to deny it, he needed to convince Snape to teach him Occlumency. Suddenly, it felt a life or death situation at this moment. He needed Snape’s loyalty to not lie with the Dark Lord. He needed confirmation that not only would Snape aid him in saving Hermione today but in the future as well. Snape stopped and turned back to scrutinize him even more.

“Why not?”

“Because… Because she’s made me realize maybe things aren’t as simple as muggles versus wizards. I can’t pretend like I don’t. I know it’s going to be hard and dangerous. I know I’m going to fail her in every possible way, because I’m not an idiot who will run in to save people like Potter. Professor, I don’t know if you know anyone who ever made you want to be better than you were; someone who is everything you can never be but everything you wish you could be. But when you meet someone who changes your world, you can’t just turn your back on them because it will be difficult. Please, teach me Occlumency.” Draco said it all in one breath. It was as though, in the panic of the moment, now that someone finally knew, he wanted to say everything he hadn’t been able to admit out loud before. Snape stared at him silently a moment. In that moment, something changed in Snape’s expression.

“Fine. But first, we need to go see what the Headmistress wants from me.” Snape turned without another word and led the way to Umbridge’s office. When Draco went inside, he kept his eyes away from Hermione. Now that he was keenly aware that someone else noticed, he felt he needed to put more distance between them around others. Only with all eyes on Snape and Umbridge did he finally dare to look over at her. Hermione stared with the rest of the students at the two professors, but she slowly turned as Snape told Umbridge he couldn’t help her. She made eye contact with him. 

‘I don’t know what to do,’ Hermione’s expression said. 

‘Me either,’ He thought back to her, but his expression stayed steady. Then Snape left, and his heart plummeted. He thought Snape held the answer the question of how to get out of this, but he seemed totally willing to leave them all alone with the new Headmistress. The only thing standing between Umbridge and the imprisoned students had been Snape. Now they were alone. 

Umbridge was insane; Draco spent enough time around her to know that for certain. He watched as she began talking herself into something. Nothing someone like Umbridge needed to talk herself into fell under any category other than that which must be stopped. Malfoy hungrily looked around the room for an answer. Then “Cruciatus Curse” fell from her mouth like a piece of furniture lugged into the room, suddenly dropped in frustration. He heard Hermione’s panicked words; he found himself falling backwards into himself. No escape for the imprisoned students.

When Umbridge let slip about the Dementors, Draco jerked back into reality. This women was truly mad. 

Draco still lacked the genuine sympathy to care what happened with Potter, but since he grew close to Hermione, he gained a new voice in his head. This one spoke of whether his actions made sense with the new outlook he held. Since he felt unsure of everything after Hermione taught him some of his base beliefs were wrong, he tried his hardest to discern between these new ideas of right and wrong. He felt allowing the Boy Who Lived to be tortured fell in one of those wrong categories, even though he still hated his peer. Yet, any action he took to keep Hermione from being hurt, physically or emotionally, gave him away to the children of the Dark Lord’s supporters. 

He stood helplessly back. When Hermione screamed over Umbridge, Draco startled. Especially when she began to cry- but she wasn’t crying. He saw her cry multiple times. This was not how she cried. Bloody hell, she was a horrible actress. But then again… No one else seemed to notice. Even her own friends seemed to believe her- and she thought she had such great friends.

Draco couldn’t guess what she was doing, but he knew she had a plan. That alone made him feel infinitely better; she could and would figure this out. It made the pain a little less when Umbridge put her grubby fingers on Hermione. Hearing her talk was the only thing that prevented him from cursing Umbridge off the earth. 

It also helped that incredulity overcame him that Umbridge actually believed what Hermione said. She really wanted all of her false beliefs to be true.

When Hermione insisted that Umbridge not let the Slytherins join them, Draco felt dread once again. Whatever she planned remained dangerous, because no other reason existed for her to insist for them to stay behind. Hermione was too noble to put anyone in harm’s way and too intelligent to believe getting Umbridge alone made her any easier to overcome. Draco tried to figure out her plan, so if needed, his help was available. Too eager to hear more, he failed to censor his face when Umbridge looked around at him and his fellow Slytherins.

He tried feelbly to get Umbridge to let him go with but failed miserably. He watched horrified as Umbridge left with Hermione and Potter. ‘Well, at least she has Potter with her. He always manages to get out of every near-death experience fine.’ 

Malfoy leaned by the window, contemplating what to do. He first needed to figure out her plan. By the looks on her friends’ faces, they knew nothing. As he stared out of the window, ignoring the discussion of torture for the imprisoned students circling with the Slytherins, he saw the trio and immediately he knew what Hermione planned, or at least he thought he did. He cursed her for her reckless actions. He needed to act fast before a giant murdered her.

“They are going into the Forbidden Forest! What do you think they are up to? I bet they don’t have anything.” Malfoy said snidely. He glanced around the room; the Weasleys, Longbottom, and Loony all looked at him attentively. ‘Good,’ he thought, ‘now, how to get them loose so they can go help Hermione?’ He glanced around. Internally, he sighed. He hated what he needed to do. He felt bad for his fellow Slytherins. Pain surely followed his actions.

The Weasley girl, out of the four left, looked like his best bet. He kept talking as he strode around the room, Potter’s wand sticking out of his robe in just the way the red-haired witch needed it to grab it then use quickly. If she wasn’t an idiot. ‘Let’s hope Hermione is right about these fools,’ Draco thought as he turned around to walk closer by the Weaselette.

“I bet one of these worthless scum know. Maybe we should start torturing them. We could torture the answer right out of them. Headmistress would be so pleas-“ Then he heard a yell and next thing he knew, spells flew everywhere. He ducked swiftly when he felt the wand disappear from his pocket. His eyes met Luna as he looked up from his spot on the floor. Loony Lovegood stalled only a moment, before hexing an assailant with her newly freed wand. Malfoy started to move to safety, but the Weasley girl stood before him, and the next thing he knew, his face flapped. ‘Shit,’ Draco thought, ‘this better work.’

“We need to go find Hermione and Harry!” Weasley said quickly, his voice moving towards the door. The others agreed. The last set up footsteps stopped right next to where Draco lay on the floor. 

“The counterspell is the vanishing spell. Thank you.” Loony said in his ear quietly, before putting his wand directly in his hand and scurrying off after the others. Draco vanished the bogy bats attacking his face (it wasn’t that it hurt, just really inconvenient and uncomfortable, and if he must admit, slightly alarming). He looked around to assess the damages. Everyone looked stunned except Crabbe who remained very much awake but suffered from an Impediment Jinx. Draco silently thanked whoever put him in it, for leaving him facing the opposite direction of Draco, so it proved unlikely he saw Lovegood give Draco his wand back.

Now he needed to decide what to do. Only a moment passed before he ran after the others. Draco determined that even if Hermione’s friends found out about his feelings, her safety mattered more. He swiftly followed them to the Forbidden Forest. He cast a silencing charm on his feet and began sneaking through the forest. He arrived in time to hear Ron mention Sirius Black’s name. Draco knew of Sirius Black’s innocence from his father, that he now hid under the protection of Dumbledore. Draco stayed hidden, glad to see Hermione appeared fine, besides the substance which looked suspiciously like blood covering her. He hoped none of it was hers. 

It seemed obvious to come and save Hermione when he thought her still in harm’s way, but now, he didn’t know what to do. She, as always, surprised him by managing to come out of an impossible situation completely fine. He wondered where Umbridge went off to, now that he thought about it. 

As he listened to their insane plan, he wondered if he should try to stop them. Potter and Weasley assumed, correctly, that Hermione would join them in the next part of their plan. He felt a draw to stop her from going on this suicide mission. Draco knew though that if he stepped out towards them, the whole group would hex him on the spot. Then, he wondered if that would stop Hermione from going with them. As much as she cared about everyone, he felt unsure she would stay to assure his safety and health. 

So, Draco just sat and watched. When he heard Potter ask the invisible animals to go to the Ministry of Magic, he waited only for all the animals to take off, before he took off in the direction of the castle. He knew then how to help; he needed someone capable of stopping them from whatever insane plan they left on. Draco ran all over the castle searching for Snape, now the only person he trusted. However, Snape appeared to have disappeared. Draco panicked all over again. His one plan left again. Draco finally stopped running around when Professor Flitwick asked him what was wrong. The world swirled. Somehow, he ended up in Snape’s office. The door was locked, but an ‘Alohomora’ fixed that. With nothing to do but wait in hope that Snape came back, Draco sunk down onto one of the seats across from Snape’s desk and put his head in his hands.

OoooOoooO

In the air, Hermione worried about where they were going. She worried about what they left behind. She thought of how she needed to apologize to Malfoy. She knew he wanted to help. She barely knew what to do then, she never expected him to know.

Hermione worried that she would never come back to see Malfoy again. Harry insisted Voldemort held Sirius captive, but Hermione just felt something to be off about the whole situation. 

Hermione still put on a brave face, to stand by her friends, because whatever it was Harry thought he saw, she needed to stand by him. Harry would not go into the danger alone. 

OooOooO

The next hour, Hermione spent her time knowing none of it felt right. The fact they just walked into the Ministry of Magic. Then the spinning doors, not knowing where the way out lay. The brains, the dais, the strange objects everywhere in the Department of Mysteries. When they entered the final room, the room Harry insisted held the captive Sirius, Hermione knew that whatever reason they found themselves there, it was not Sirius. When they found the orb with Harry’s name on it, Hermione knew. She knew. The weapon stood in a little glass ball. Except, it wasn’t really a weapon like they thought. Whoever led them here wanted Harry to find it. They knew he would insist on figuring out what it was. Hermione wished she stood anywhere else when she heard the voice behind them. 

The battle blurred past her. A blur which haunted her in her dreams for years. A blur which eventually heightened her insomnia worse than ever before. It marked the beginning of the war for her. Marked all the heartache to come after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm not posting as often! Life calls and I have to give it attention. 
> 
> Dark Congregation is nearly to its end. It's sad to think, because I've been working on it for something of a year. 
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!


	14. This is Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We were together. I forgot the rest.” –Walt Whitman

Draco woke up in the hospital wing with a start the next morning. He looked around unsure how he arrived there. Madam Pomfrey hurried over to his bed as he tried to stand. 

“Now, now, you take a moment. Professor Snape brought you to me. Let me know you had a bit of a scuttle.” She said it as though he was injured. She must know he’s not injured. He wondered what Snape told her. She made sure he stayed put, and then went back to the other person she had been healing. 

Draco was the only Slytherin in the room. He assumed all the others already received healing spells and potions and sent on their way. Meanwhile, four of the beds showed the sleeping forms of Lovegood, Longbottom, Potter, and the Weasley girl. Weasley himself muttered to himself, but Draco failed to discern whether or not he slept or not. Then the awake form of one girl who Madam Pomfrey now cast healing spells on. He caught her eye and wanted to cry. 

Draco stood at the bushy-haired witch’s side doing before Madam Pomfrey could stop him. 

“Are you okay? What happened? Where did you go? Why did you go and do something so stupid?” Draco demanded. Madam Pomfrey cast a silencing charm on him. It brought a small smile to Hermione’s face.

“You be quiet, Mr. Malfoy and go lay down, or I will kick you out of this room,” Madam Pomfrey commanded. 

“If it’s all right, I would like him to stay by my side while the rest of the spells are cast? We’ll be quiet to not wake up anyone,” Hermione asked weakly, her face white with pain. Madam Pomfrey just frowned at the pair and nodded, before continuing the spells (releasing the charm off of Draco in the process). Hermione reached out her hand to his; he took it. Her hand squeezed as she flinched from pain several times, but soon Madam Pomfrey finished.

“Now, you don’t bother her long, Mr. Malfoy, she needs rest,” the healer told the pair. Madam Pomfrey then walked over to the sleeping Weasley to cast several more healing spells. Hermione cast a low muffling charm around the two of them. 

“I don’t think I can manage to tell you everything that happened, but you need to know. Will you use Legillemency?” Hermione said abruptly. His face filled with pain.

“I-“

“Please?” So he did, and he saw everything up to the point she passed out. When the memory ended, he just stared at her.

“My father… It’s all out. It’s starting.” Draco whispered, even though no one could hear them. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Hermione said, though she wasn’t sure what for.

“I should have stopped you last night. I should have stopped Umbridge.” Draco said, running his hands over his face.

“You couldn’t have. We both know how dangerous this was before everyone knew Voldemort was back. Now… It’s even more so.”

“I asked Snape and he agreed.” Draco said, without explaining himself. Hermione smiled weakly; she couldn’t believe he’d actually asked.

“What about me though? I don’t have the luxury of asking Professor Snape to help me.”

“You won’t get caught.”

“Because I have such a good history of not ending up in near-death situations.” Draco brought her hand up to his face and lightly touched his lips to it.

“Just stop following Potter when you know better.”

“I apparently don’t know better, since I keep doing it.” Then Hermione let out a sob. “It’s all my fault. All of this. Sirius Black is dead. I overheard Ginny talking to Neville when we came in last night. I could’ve stopped it. I knew the whole bloody time that it was wrong, that someone was going to get hurt, and I kept right on going anyways.” Now she really bawled, with more feeling than Draco saw before. Before Draco could try and give her any comfort, Madam Pomfrey came over and shooed him out of the room for disturbing patients. 

Draco wasn’t able to see her again while she was in the hospital wing. However, Hermione wasn’t fine not talking to her confidant, so as soon as Madam Pomfrey released Ginny, she convinced Ginny to bring the diary to her. 

Hermione waited for everyone to go to sleep before she opened it up and started writing. 

“You can’t go back home.” Draco, as always, wrote right back.

“I have to. If I don’t, the Dark Lord will know. He will know and he will hurt my family.”

“I don’t know that he will be too keen with your family as it is.”

“Even more reason to try to stay under the radar.”

“I’m worried about you.”

“You have enough to worry about.” Pause. “My little mudblood needs to worry about realizing it isn’t her fault that anyone got hurt. No one else was talking any logic. She had a lot of others saying it was fine or following Potter blindly. You are not at fault.”

“Standing by while others get hurt makes it just as much my fault as those who actually did the hurting.”

“You didn’t stand by. You went with them and protected them as best you could. Besides, you seem to have gotten the worst wounds out of anyone.”

“Ron got hurt pretty bad.”

“Fine, I take it back, Umbridge was hurt worse than anyone else. You got Umbridge. You are the hero of the school.” No answer. “Little mudblood, are you going to tell me what you did to her?”

“I didn’t do anything. I just led her to a punishment I felt she deserved.”

“Which was?”

“You will think I’m horrible.”

“Well, good, I already think that. Now what happened to her?”

“I don’t actually know.”

“But you have a theory.”

“Read some muggle mythology on Centaurs. Muggles are extremely bright about getting some facts right.”

“So you’re not going to tell me?”

“No, because I really don’t know.” He didn’t write back right away. Finally, he said what was on his mind.

“I blame myself. For letting you go. As soon as I saw you going to the Forbidden Forest, I knew some kind of harm would come to you. I didn’t know what yet, but I knew it. I still let you go.”

“From what I hear, you were dealing with Bat-Bogeys.”

“I’m happy you seem happier. I was worried this would all be too much.” Hermione stared at those words a moment. She felt her cheeks bleed red. She didn’t know what it was about those words, but they seemed special.

“I can’t sleep at all lately. It seems to only come in half hour intervals. I just keep seeing it repeat.”

“I’ll always be here to help you get through the night.”

“Thanks. It helps.” Hermione wanted to say more, about how much it helped, but for all her Gryffindor courage, she failed to muster up the ability to write more.

“Try to get some sleep tonight then?”

“Okay. You too?”

“Busy practice Occlumency. Clearing the mind.”

“I’d give you a kiss good luck if I could.”

“I’d like that.”

“Soon?”

“Soon.” And then the messages ended. 

The next day, Hermione opened the diary to find Draco already wrote a note to her. So, despite it being the middle of the day, she wrote back.

“You are brilliantly evil.”

“What are you on about?”

“I found muggle mythology on centaurs.”

“That took you awhile.”

“Well, I don’t have your mad researching skills. So you aren’t going to admit what you possibly put her through?”

“Nothing that she didn’t deserve.”

“Ouch. I’ll say it again, you’re evil.”

“What happened to the brilliant part?”

“That too.”

“Listen… There’s something else too…”

“Yes?”

“Charlie and Greg are noticing that I haven’t attacked Harry yet? He did put my father in jail.”

“Sorry that had to happen.”

“Not your fault. He shouldn’t have been so stupid as to be beat by a bunch of 14 and 15 year olds that are protected by Dumbledore.”

“You sure you aren’t mad?”

“Yes. I won’t miss not having to worry about the Dark Lord being in my house.”

“I’m still worried.”

“Why?”

“Because Voldemort is strong and heartless. I don’t think he’ll leave your family alone.”

“We’ll deal with that when it comes to that. I’ve talked about it with Snape.”

“You have?”

“Yes.” And he had. He broached the subject the previous day, when he met with Snape for their first of several long nightly Occlumency practices. They started immediately, as summer only remained several days away. Snape seemed surprised Draco already achieved so much at Occlumency and turned out much more thorough about trying to build up Draco’s tolerance than he was Harry’s. It helped Snape saw a bit of himself in Draco. Snape immediately tried to discover how Draco gain so much practice at Occlumency, but Draco turned out extremely talented at blocking his and Hermione’s time together. A couple times, when Snape really attacked him, he got through, but Draco quickly gained strength in his barriers. 

The day before his conversation with Hermione, Draco asked if anything else existed that would help him protect himself.  
“This is one of your best protections. Otherwise, what you need to know is how to pretend that you are still on the Dark Lord’s side.” Snape said, drinking some of the tea he left on the desk for the pair of them while Draco rested. 

“There aren’t any spells to help me fight him?” Draco sipped on the tea, regaining his strength.

“You had better hope you never have to fight him. It doesn’t matter what spells you learn. You will lose if he turns on you. For now, it is best if you just keep your head low and make sure he doesn’t know your secret.”

“Is it possible to get protection so my mother and I can run away?” Draco ventured to ask. Snape really looked at the boy then.

“It is, but it’s extremely dangerous to do so because it’s not always foolproof. If you can learn Occlumency, it may be your best option to stay in plain sight where it appears you aren’t betraying the Dark Lord. Plus, at this point, the Dark Lord could still be hiding at your house. Which means getting you and your mother out alive would be a death warranted for whoever tried.”

“So I’m just supposed to stay there with the Dark Lord just waiting for him to snuff us both?” Draco said pathetically.

“No. I will speak with the Headmaster to see if there is anything we can start thinking about doing, but for now, learning how to control your thoughts, as well as preparing yourself to control your emotions so the Dark Lord still thinks you are behind him is the best thing for you to do.” So that is what Draco has been doing. 

“What did he tell you?” Hermione asked through the diary.

“That I need to first learn to protect my mind, then I can worry about everything else.” It wasn’t untrue, but he felt bad not telling the whole truth to Hermione. That he likely needed to stay in the Dark Lord’s clutches. Hermione would be upset by that.

“How is it going?”

“Really well. He was impressed with how far along I already was.”

“Did you tell him about us practicing?”

“No. As far as I know, he thinks I’ve been practicing alone based on theory. But, back to the matter at hand, Charlie and Greg are noticing my unconcern, and if they are noticing, people smarter than them are as well.” Draco never told Hermione that Snape knew, to some extent or another, about them. He felt frightened to. He worried if he told her, she’d figure out how Snape figured it out. That Draco was so clearly infatuated with the muggle-born that his teacher noticed his attentions. He was scared to admit just how much he cared for Hermione.

“Can’t you just act more concerned?”

“I’m going to have to try to attack Potter.”

“You don’t have to.”

“If they find out I don’t care my father is in general, that shows a disregard for the Dark Lord as well.”

“I know… It’s just so ridiculous… You could… There’s probably people who could protect you.”

“I told you I’ve talked about it with Professor Snape. I have to attack him. I will try not to do any real damage, just cause him enough discomfort to look like I did him in well.”

“I hate this.”

“I know.”

“And this will be the only time?”

“Hopefully. It does help that you and Weasley aren’t around him. It will be less messy, and I won’t have to risk hurting you as well.”

“I wish we could be around him. He’s going through something really rough. He really cared about Sirius.”

“It’s war. People die. It’s better it happened now, early on, so when things start getting really bad, he doesn’t lose focus.”

“Just try to go easy on him?”

“Of course. Time to go.”

“Sweet dreams.”

“Try to get some sleep.” That night, when Draco met with Snape to practice Occlumency, Draco rested between moments, trying to clear his mind and failing. Snape noticed.

“What is wrong with you?”

“I have to go attack Potter because I have to go and pretend like I care that my bloody Death Eater father went to prison.” Draco found Snape never agreed with him directly, but Snape allowed him to say anything. Something about Snape made him trust him.

“You are actually complaining about attacking Potter?” Snape looked at him incredulously. 

“She doesn’t want me to actually hurt him.”

“She really can’t be so stupid as to not understand why you need to.” 

“She does, but that doesn’t stop her from being disappointed with me.” Draco felt so pathetic. At least around Snape, he needn’t act tough. Snape already knew his biggest secret. Snape could destroy him with one word to the Dark Lord. Nothing else seemed important. 

“Well, find a way that you can appear to start to attack him but don’t have to actually pull it off.” Snape sipped on the tea in front of him. Draco thought a little bit more, trying to calm down and blank his mind at the same time. Then as he was sitting there trying to think of nothing, he thought of the perfect solution. The solution was right in front of him.

“You. You should come stop right before we do anything. Potter will surely pull his wand on me. You can come stop it before it gets anywhere.” Snape considered the proposition.

“Only if you succeed in putting up your barriers.” Draco tried his very best the rest of the night and prevented all Snape’s attempts to get into his mind. Before he left, Draco set a time and place for Snape to be wandering around to catch them in the act of attempting to fight. He decided not to tell Hermione unless it worked. The next day, it worked smashingly. Hermione had already written him when he sat down in bed that night.

“Wow! What luck Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall stopped by! I’m so happy, too! Gryffindor got so many points!” Hermione’s words showed her excitement. Draco decided not to tell her that it was because of him that Professor Snape was there because of him. It seemed like admitting too much of his feelings. 

Hermione got out of the hospital the next day, three days before the end of term, and Draco was thrilled. He already planned to go straight from practice with Snape to the assigned room. He sat alone outside underneath a tree, far away from any other students, in the afternoon. He took to just telling Charlie and Greg to bugger off more often. They assumed his bad mood came from his father going to jail, and he fed this assumption whenever he could. 

Hermione had been sitting outside with Harry and Ron, when the two boys decided to go fly around the Quidditch pitch, now that Harry had his broom back. Hermione almost went with them, when she just barely saw the glint of blonde hair hidden behind a tree. 

“I’m actually going to stay out here and read, I think. I don’t imagine I’ll have much fun watching you two.” Harry and Ron just shook their heads and left her behind. Ron muttering, “Impossible to get her head out of books for too long.” Hermione walked leisurely towards the tree. When she finally stood where she could see him in full, Hermione stopped. 

He sat, reading a book. Draco Malfoy looked so utterly calm in that moment. His face relaxed out of the sneer or smirks he commonly wore during the day.

In that moment, it occurred to Hermione that the man in front of her no longer claimed the same identity as the selfish, prejudiced boy she fought with at the beginning of the year. The Draco Malfoy sitting before her claimed an identity completely different. 

What’s more, Hermione Granger suddenly realized at some point she fell completely, undeniably in love with the Draco Malfoy in front of her. She loved that she could say anything and everything to him; how he cared about his grades and loved to learn just as she did; that he proved so often that he was much better than even he thought himself; how no matter how much she yelled at him, he always just took it all willingly; that he always remained completely honest with her, even when it made her angry; the fact he so often took on such gentleness when around her. He became her closest confidant in the last yar, perhaps even closer than Ron and Harry. Draco Malfoy turned into such a necessity in her life that she never stopped to think about what it all meant. 

Before Draco Malfoy used to be someone to put up with, then he became someone who challenged her and encouraged her, then someone who excited her, finally somewhere along the way, she’d come to depend upon him to be there. He always seemed to be. Even when she was stuck in the hospital wing, it amazed her to see him already sleeping in one of the beds. She knew the Bat Bogey Hex wouldn’t have put him in the hospital. She chose to believe he wanted to be there when Hermione inevitably came back and ended up there.

Hermione Granger was so suddenly overcome with the realization, she just stood there a moment. She’d never even really come to terms with the fact she somewhat dated him. Now, as much as she knew her name, Hermione knew she loved him.

Her body felt on fire. Her mind tingled with all the memories indicating the truth to this realization. When her eyes took in the handsome man in front of her, her normally careful mind checked out. Hermione now walked purposefully towards him. He looked up with a startled expression, then looked around to check that no one saw them, as Hermione dropped to the ground in front of him. She landed on her knees, and leaned forward, wrapping both hands around his head, pulling him closer to her for a long embrace. He pulled away flushed. 

“I love you.” Hermione said, still not thinking. His eyes widened in surprise. His tongue lumped in his mouth, unable to say the words back, so instead he pulled her in for another long embrace. This time when he pulled away, he managed to speak.

“This is too dangerous out in the open like this, little mudblood. Go run along, and we will see each other tonight. I have a present for you.” Draco whispered in one of the sweetest voices she’d ever heard from him. Hermione nodded, gave him another kiss, and walked quickly back to the castle.

Her face fired up as she gained distance from him. He hadn’t said it back. In her mind, she told herself that he wanted to. His kiss seemed to return the feelings she portrayed to him. She quickly ran up to the dormitory to hide and analyze every second of their short interaction.

Draco, meanwhile, whirled at the words. He wanted to say them back but couldn’t make them come out. He so wanted to say it. Unlike Hermione, the realization he loved her came slowly, and when Hermione spoke the words, the only surprise to Draco was that she returned his feelings. He knew he needed to say it back, but another part of him thought of the summer to come. Thought of the dangers and possibilities which he knew nothing of yet, except the chance of horrible events transpiring. Thinking of saying those words only exaggerated Draco’s worries, as though if he said them, it opened a door letting in a world of pain and suffering with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the brief hiatus. I have started a new job, which means new stressors and new schedules to get used to. I can't promise I'll post again for awhile. I have one more chapter to go on this part. 
> 
> I'm currently trying to fix/finish part 2. I started it a long time ago, about the time I finished the draft of this part. Now that I'm looking back, I'm unhappy with how it began. I feel I was losing the Hermione I loved so much. So I'm more or less scrapping significant portions of it. The Draco in it will also be changing, because I feel he was underestimating the Hermione we all know and love. I'm holding the last chapter hostage from myself so I'm forced to start working on part 2 more. Keep commenting if you want me to hurry. I always love the feedback and encouragement!


	15. Forever Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants, but a true soulmate is a mirror; the person who shows you everything that is holding you back;
> 
> A soulmate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in;.” –Unknown

He hurried to the room that night, hoping she was already there. Unfortunately, he entered an empty room. Draco sat there awhile, waiting impatiently. Hermione finally entered the room close to midnight. 

“Hi,” He said happily, quickly engulfing her in an embrace. She let herself sink into it, still overcome by the new feelings she realized. However she pulled away, her face flushed red from a feeling other than passion.

“Listen, about what I said earlier-“ Hermione tried to say. Draco refused to hear the excuse he knew came if she continued, so he accioed a package wrapped in paper. He quickly handed it to Hermione. “What is this?” Hermione asked, looking it over, then looking at him.

“I told you I had a gift for you.” Draco said, wishing in his mind that those three words just slipped through his lips as he wanted them to. They tightened around his heart, waiting to destroy his whole being. But the pair still needed to survive the summer, both together and apart.

Draco watched as Hermione opened the package. Hermione smiled when she saw the new diary. She opened it up. 

“This one is better than the last. It’s of course attached to another, but I figured out a couple better charms to put on it. This one we won’t have to flip back and forth. We’ll write on the same page and it’ll transfer from one to the other. What’s more, every time we write, a date and time will appear overhead, so there’s no more guessing when the other was writing,” Draco told her excitedly, “Finally, the spells to protect intrusion have been put on tenfold. I not only made it so only you could open it, but others won’t even realize it exists. Even when you’re writing in it, it’s spelled to make people look away from it. They won’t even realize you are writing in it. The spell just makes them think you are doing such a mundane task they won’t care.” Hermione smiled back at the blonde man, who seemed so proud of himself.

“This is some really good piece of magic. I was really worried about the other one running out.” Hermione smiled. 

“Oh, and I, of course, don’t really know anything yet, but mother has already explained that I’m not even going to the country house. I’m supposed to just stay in the London house until she comes to pick me up. I thought maybe, if you could get away, we could meet and… I don’t know… Do something?” Draco took her face in his hands. She nodded, her grin now large at the thought of him going out of his way to see her during the summer. He gave her a soft kiss. She put the book down and just let herself enjoy being in Draco’s company for the rest of the night.

The next two nights followed in the same mode. They met, kissed, fooled around, and sometimes just talked. Both smiling, laughing, and feeling carelessly happy. Neither mentioned what Draco had to go home to, nor did they discuss the war. They allowed themselves to be just two teenagers being teenagers. 

The first and last mention of the reality that they lived outside of their bubble of happiness came when after the end of the term banquet, Draco once again told Hermione he needed to attack Harry.

“You already tried! Why do you have to do it again?” Hermione complained. Hermione’s body tucked between Draco’s arms, leaning up against his chest as they huddled on the floor on some pillows they transfigured for their purpose.

“This is not something that I can do once and then start living a different life. Potter is going to be my enemy. I have to play that part.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Well, I figure we will attack him when he goes to use the restroom on the train.”

“What if he decides not to go use the restroom?”

“It’s a long train ride.” Both dropped the discussion with that, nothing more to say on the matter. They refused to have that be their last discussion until they managed to find a time to meet, so they went back to their bubble of bliss where they talked of nothings, kissed, and touched each other. She wondered if Draco finally might take that last step that he previously denied her from giving to him, but he never took it further. Hermione considered trying again to breach that barrier, but she was scared of another rejection. 

When they parted, the words once again lay on both of their lips. Those words that already changed their relationship forever just by swimming through their thoughts. Neither let them fill the air between them in the end. Instead, they parted with sweet goodbyes, with the knowledge that events soon to transpire might change everything.

The next day, Draco planned on how to not harm Potter again. He caught Lovegood when she was alone, wandering outside aimlessly.

“I have a favor to ask you.” Draco said, looking around nervously in case someone saw them.

“Alright.” Luna said in reply.

“That’s it? You are just going to agree to it like that?” Draco asked incredulous. He did not understand her.

“You’re going to ask me something to help someone you can’t, so I don’t see any reason to say no?” Lovegood told him, as though it wasn’t even a question. Draco just stared at her a moment, as though he saw her for the first time, because in some ways he was only just now seeing her. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“I would like you to make sure that when Charlie, Greg, and I corner Potter near the restroom on the train, there are some people who will be there that will help him.” 

“Alright.” 

“Um… Lovegood, I need you to not tell anyone that I asked you this.” 

“I know. Have a good summer, Malfoy.” And with that Luna went back to wandering. Draco wondered if he made the right decision hoping for help from her. Besides Hermione, Lovegood was perhaps the only classmate that he knew might help him without question.

The plan went smashingly. He even saw as Lovegood directed a group of individuals to sit in the carts nearby. So peculiar in her process, Draco wondered if the students even realized she directed them where to sit. He, in turn, led Charlie and Greg to attack the unsuspecting Potter. The unfortunate bout of spells the three of them suffered under left Draco with something to desire. It left him feeling bad for betraying Charlie and Greg like this. In many ways, the two boys were his closest friends, but he couldn’t trust them. They remained utterly brainwashed by their parents and likely would share the discovery of Draco’s feelings with their Death Eater parents. He sat in a slug like form, shoved into an overhead compartment for some time, losing and regaining consciousness. Charlie and Greg each lay in their own compartments. 

Then all of a sudden, he saw light, as someone opened the compartment door. 

“Bloody hell,” a voice said, and slowly he felt himself return to normal. He fell out of the compartment with a thud, and looked up to see Hermione standing over him.

“My body feels wrong,” Draco muttered, pulling himself up to the seat, only to lay his head down on it. 

“Well, that’s because I don’t know what spells and hexes were all cast on you. I did what I could, but I’m afraid you still need to see a proper healer. What were you thinking, attacking Harry with all those D.A. members nearby?”

“You will really have to one day explain to me what D.A. even is in full. I only know what Umbridge told us,” He pulled her so she sat down and then rested his head on her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair.

“I will one day, but not today. I don’t have that long before I’m missed. I just wanted to make sure I came and got you conscious before we got to the station. Do you think you’re able to fix up Crabbe and Goyle so they can at least walk out of the train?” Hermione asked. Draco began running his hand over her leg. 

“Probably, but I don’t think you should leave quite yet. Someone might notice you leaving.”

“Yeah, I’m not really that worried.” She started to move him off of her, when he swiftly sat up and cornered her in the car. Only after he kissed her enough to fill some of his insatiable needs did he finally let her begin to consider leaving. She stood to straight her clothes as Draco watched her hungrily. 

“I really do need to go. I’ve been gone for much too long,” Hermione scolded.

“Promise me you’ll write me, even if I can’t get away to write you?”

“Promise me you’ll miss me?” Hermione shot back at him. More sweet than normal, because it finally hit her that she may not see him for some time. At least at school, Hermione always saw him during the day, even if she couldn’t talk to him.

“I promise,” Draco replied, supplying her with another kiss. Then they just stared at each other, soaking in the sight of the other. 

“I’m going to miss you,” Hermione finally said. Draco squeezed her hand.

“Me too. I think I’ve gotten quite used to you knowing everything,” he teased her. She looked at him seriously and allowed her next words to fill the room.

“I know I already said this, but it is true, and- and I need to say it, because if I don’t it’ll eat me alive. I love you.” Hermione then kissed him passionately on the lips, and he kissed her passionately back. Then she disappeared from sight before he could even think about saying it back. The words lingered around Draco’s ears, the music of them filling his soul. 

That was how they parted. Time would change them both. The problem with teenage love is that it is often careless and selfish. It doesn’t consider the greater effects on those around them. While they both saw the possible negative outcomes, neither of them cared. Teenagers love to live in the present, unconcerned with what tomorrow might bring. Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy were like that in their 5th year. They were naïve. They hoped too large and had yet to suffer the damages a war would bring. 

They loved each other and that was all that mattered at the time. Love is not easy, though. Love is painful and dangerous. Love means sacrifice. Love means forgiveness. Love means giving up a losing battle for the sake of another.

Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy still needed to learn the downsides to love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a long time coming. It was over a year ago when I begun imagining this. It was over a year ago when I began writing this instead of paying attention to a class I was taking. It started out a much different story, but some of the early scenes came from that. And one idea remained the same- I wanted a Dramione fic that started while they were in school and didn't break canon. There will be a part two, but I'm not sure how long it will take. Keep commenting! Give me your thoughts and concerns. The more I hear from you the more I will want to continue this story. I also want to know what did and didn't work. Were my characters real? Were they forced? Did you see the Hermione we know and love from the books in my writing? Do you see the Draco we know and hate from the books? 
> 
> Thanks so much for all of your supports, kudos, and comments! You've made me feel so good about this story, and it was always a day-brightening day when I saw kudos and comments in my inbox! 
> 
> Here's to you!


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